grandmother 'scooped' baby announcement on FB

[Anonymous]

Op, I see your point. Since she is your mom, she should not have a problem with your request.

B$tchy MIL? Yeah, that would be different.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:Honestly you didn't post a single thing about your pregnancy on facebook, so she figured you'd never post a baby pic either. She does have a right as a grandma to post pics of her grandkids. I mean would she take pics of the other 4 and black out your baby's face?

Um, yeah, no, it's up to the parents.

You can take a picture of anyone you want and post it on FB. Someone may not like it, but you can certainly go to Safeway today's take someone's picture and post it on FB with the caption "went to Safeway today".

And if this person finds out about it and wants it removed, FB will remove it.

Right, but the issue was if Grandma or anyone has a "right" to post it on FB, and yes, yes they do.

The baby? Questionable. Certainly not the mom who has just given birth. Not "right".

NP but yes. Grandparents have a right to talk about their new grandchildren and post pictures. It's not ALL about the mom.

A right to generally post pictures does not extend to all situations. My mother posted a pic of my newborn before I'd even held her. (NICU situation and I was being sown up.) That's not cool. I should have a chance to meet my DD and to notify those who are important to me, such as the other grandparents, before she posts publicly on FB. It's just common sense and a little respect.

I that incident up there with my father posting about my uncle's passing on FB within moments of his death. We hadn't even had a chance to contact my uncle's wife yet--she learned about it on FB. She had just stepped out of the hospital room to get a cup of coffee and some air after 23 hours of a bedside vigil. It's just not cool.

My parents have no boundaries on FB, but then expect us to respect their boundaires. For instance, my mom insisted on posting every detail of my labor on FB (dilation, fluids, pooping, the whole shebang), but then made a big deal about keeping my dad's cancer diagnosis off of FB because he deserves privacy. It drives me nuts. I feel like I can't share anything with my parents unless I want it instantly broadcast to every person I've ever met. For baby no.2, they'll likely learn about my delivery hours after the fact when I get around to posting. It really sucks that they can't show even a little common sense and respect.

For the record, I have no issue with them posting life's day to day shots. It's only those major milestones (with no time delay) and personal information that I find intrusive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You had nine months to decide how to handle the birth of this child on social media and to communicate your wishes/boundaries with your inner circle.

Why didn't you?

This

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Honestly you didn't post a single thing about your pregnancy on facebook, so she figured you'd never post a baby pic either. She does have a right as a grandma to post pics of her grandkids. I mean would she take pics of the other 4 and black out your baby's face?

In fact, she does not have a right to post pictures of her grandkids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly you didn't post a single thing about your pregnancy on facebook, so she figured you'd never post a baby pic either. She does have a right as a grandma to post pics of her grandkids. I mean would she take pics of the other 4 and black out your baby's face?

In fact, she does not have a right to post pictures of her grandkids.

Legally? Sure she does. She could post pictures of your kids if she wants.

[Anonymous]

Just deal with it OP, it's going to happen over and over again. Our parents' generation is OBSESSED with Facebook.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly you didn't post a single thing about your pregnancy on facebook, so she figured you'd never post a baby pic either. She does have a right as a grandma to post pics of her grandkids. I mean would she take pics of the other 4 and black out your baby's face?

In fact, she does not have a right to post pictures of her grandkids.

Legally? Sure she does. She could post pictures of your kids if she wants.

Legally? No she doesn't.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly you didn't post a single thing about your pregnancy on facebook, so she figured you'd never post a baby pic either. She does have a right as a grandma to post pics of her grandkids. I mean would she take pics of the other 4 and black out your baby's face?

In fact, she does not have a right to post pictures of her grandkids.

Legally? Sure she does. She could post pictures of your kids if she wants.

Legally? No she doesn't.

You have an expectation of privacy in a hospital setting. Ergo-not allowable use.

[Anonymous]

Did she tag you?

If she didn't tag you, I'd say, eh, annoying, but she's expressing her excitement about her grandchild, and I'd let it go.

If she tagged you, then I'd have a talk. Because this is the beginning of lots of oversharing that's going to crowd your Facebook feed for the next 18 years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Try to look at it from a different perspective and then let it go: your mother did not announce that YOU had a baby. She announced that SHE has a grandchild.

It might not seem different to you, but it is. Let her share her joy, and try not to be vain and worried that it is an unflattering picture of you. NOBODY cares, I promise.

In fact, nobody care about this announcement as much as you so I would not worry that she "scooped you."

I agree with above. Did she tag you in it? I 100% get where you are coming from, but I also think she was just excited and maybe didn't understand why you hadn't put it on Facebook yet so she it on without actually acknowledging you and your hubby.

[Anonymous]

I would be pissed OP. Facebook has rights to any photos posted. Main reason I would refuse pics of my child there. But you needed to send out an email or talk to your family before giving birth. This falls on you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Here's the situation, would like to get some outside feedback:

Recently had a baby, and never made a Facebook announcement about being pregnant <<pregnancy was out in the open to all those who we interact with regularly in real-life; just didn't want to put it on FB>>. My mother visited us in the hospital, took a fairly unflattering photo of me with baby, and posted in on FB with comment to the effect of "welcome grandchild #5!".

Husband and I are pretty miffed; wasn't this our announcement to make on FB, if we felt the need? FWIW, we share many FB friends with my mother, so she definitely broke the news on our behalf.

Should we say something, or just ignore and move on? I don't have the mindspace right now to deal with the a confrontation, but if this sets a precedent for what the grandparents have the right to broadcast about our child, maybe I should say something?

No this was nice of her to do, and it's her FB page with whoever is on there. Can't control that...problem with FB. She could have just as easily shown people on her phone.

Really not something you should blow out of proportion.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly you didn't post a single thing about your pregnancy on facebook, so she figured you'd never post a baby pic either. She does have a right as a grandma to post pics of her grandkids. I mean would she take pics of the other 4 and black out your baby's face?

In fact, she does not have a right to post pictures of her grandkids.

Legally? Sure she does. She could post pictures of your kids if she wants.

Legally? No she doesn't.

Yes she can on FB.

[Anonymous]

A non-issue, let it go.

Some have grand parents that ignore them, be grateful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly you didn't post a single thing about your pregnancy on facebook, so she figured you'd never post a baby pic either. She does have a right as a grandma to post pics of her grandkids. I mean would she take pics of the other 4 and black out your baby's face?

In fact, she does not have a right to post pictures of her grandkids.

Legally? Sure she does. She could post pictures of your kids if she wants.

Legally? No she doesn't.

You have an expectation of privacy in a hospital setting. Ergo-not allowable use.

Not when you invite family with picture phones. Next time don't invite people, have the child and go home. Who wants visitors anyways at that time, I sure didn't.