Tell me about your worst playdate stories

[Anonymous]

You guys have got me. I've explained it very clearly "I have to work until 5pm, but if you'd like to bring Larla over for a playdate with my DD and Nanny at 3pm, that works for them."

Sorry to disappoint everyone who desperately wants to think I was talking in code about this. 3-4 times over 3 kids and about 7 years combined of preschool isn't a lot, I guess, but it's funny when it happens. I suspect there was a similar misalignment of expectations with PP I was responding to, but I have no idea why it takes actual experiential learning for some moms to understand as opposed to a clear explanation.

They are just not as smart and wonderful as you, I guess.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Had just moved to DC area and had a young 2 year old. Met a group of very La Leche League a parents and we did a round robin of houses each week for playdate. There were not my type, but I was so desperate for company as my husband was working long hours at a new job and I knew NO ONE. On e week we get to one of the women's houses and she says, Oh I have to show you guys what my boyfriend (father of child) has been working on and hands my child and another 2 yr old a long hand-blown glass object. Aren't they awesome, she asks? Yes, but we are nervous as they are glass. What are they? Oh, he had a special order from some guys in DC for dildos. Aren't they awesome? Just the right weight, she said.

I just about DIED.

That is true story. Swear to God. Last playdate with that family.

PP, you made my night!! LOL uncontrollably!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Had just moved to DC area and had a young 2 year old. Met a group of very La Leche League a parents and we did a round robin of houses each week for playdate. There were not my type, but I was so desperate for company as my husband was working long hours at a new job and I knew NO ONE. On e week we get to one of the women's houses and she says, Oh I have to show you guys what my boyfriend (father of child) has been working on and hands my child and another 2 yr old a long hand-blown glass object. Aren't they awesome, she asks? Yes, but we are nervous as they are glass. What are they? Oh, he had a special order from some guys in DC for dildos. Aren't they awesome? Just the right weight, she said.

I just about DIED.

That is true story. Swear to God. Last playdate with that family.

I just laughed so hard at this that I got a "wtf" look from my puppy. I nursed mine until 2 1/2 and I can't imagine doing that, in front of a new friend at that. Thanks for the laugh, PP!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Had just moved to DC area and had a young 2 year old. Met a group of very La Leche League a parents and we did a round robin of houses each week for playdate. There were not my type, but I was so desperate for company as my husband was working long hours at a new job and I knew NO ONE. On e week we get to one of the women's houses and she says, Oh I have to show you guys what my boyfriend (father of child) has been working on and hands my child and another 2 yr old a long hand-blown glass object. Aren't they awesome, she asks? Yes, but we are nervous as they are glass. What are they? Oh, he had a special order from some guys in DC for dildos. Aren't they awesome? Just the right weight, she said.

I just about DIED.

That is true story. Swear to God. Last playdate with that family.

I just laughed so hard at this that I got a "wtf" look from my puppy. I nursed mine until 2 1/2 and I can't imagine doing that, in front of a new friend at that. Thanks for the laugh, PP!

Oops, quoted the wrong post but yours was hilarious, too!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:**Let me preface this by saying I nursed both my boys until they were 1, and they didn't love covers and I did nurse in public but tries to walk a line between comfort and being disscreet.

I went to a new friends home for a play date with our 3 year olds and her 2 year old. I knew she was a little hippie crunchy and really liked her from our interactions at preschool.
She answered the door with a men's shirt on, unbuttoned to her navel, and as soon as I was in there she undid the whole thing so it was casually open in front, with full view of both large boobs, so her 2 year old could walk up whenever he wanted and have a drink.
So we sat at her kitchen table drinking coffee while she had both boobs out and would occasionally have to lean over when she felt her son tug and want a drink.
I fought a furious battle in my head trying to be open and nonjudgmental that I ultimately lost after futily trying to look anywhere, anywhere else but at her chest. It was like Jesus himself was beckoning me to look, I literally could not *not* see them, like they were following me or a weird Mona Lisa type thing.
I was so exhausted from the effort to not think it was weird and be normal that I had to take a Tylenol and go to bed.

I just laughed so hard at this that I got a "wtf" look from my puppy. I nursed mine until 2 1/2 and I can't imagine doing that, in front of a new friend at that. Thanks for the laugh, PP!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DS 10 got invited for 3-day beach weekend. That week lice had run through classroom. Everyone did their best to eradicate lice, of course. I got a call from my ds on friday evening. He was sitting on the porch of his friend's house; they had left him behind b/c they found lice on him. They were long gone. OK - i went and picked him up. Did the whole lice treatment thing all over again. Saturday they rang "would DS like to join us now?" Uh Certainly -drove down I-95 met them half-way. The mom gave DS a lice check while i waited. Ok - great - clean bill of health. DS got in their car and they drove off. I drove back home. As soon as i walked in the door, phone rang - "your son has lice. you must come get him. We will not allow him into our beach house" He was in SOUTH CAROLINA.

It's been years but i feel my neck getting hot as I type this. I say "can you take him to a hair dresser who will do a lice treatment? NO - they would not let him into the house.

Misery. Sheer misery. I am so glad that lice-in-classroom phase is past.

I would never consider another playdate no less weekend after they left him behind.. I could see not having him come for the weekend..but parents should have called you and waited for a pickup.

Yeah, confused as to why you let him go with them the second time after they left him on the porch!

I dont get that either.

me, too???

[Anonymous]

An older nanny at my sons playgroup all of a sudden started asking me to bring my son over for a playdate. I had never really spoken to her before and our children didn't play together either. I had never met the child's parents. The nanny's English was pretty limited and I couldn't quite figure out why she wanted me to come over. Anyway, she was really persistent and I agreed to come over. I was greeted at the door by the nanny and one set of grandparents - visiting from out of state for a couple of months. The nanny quickly made herself invisible and I was left with the grandparents and the kids. They were really nice people they kept me there for HOURS. Talking, talking, talking and talking. Clearly they were starved for social interaction. Smart move, nanny, smart move! Still makes me giggle

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is a horrible story and it's gross. It still gives me shudders.

Play date kid went to the bathroom by himself. Since he was recently potty trained, I nervously asked my new mom friend if she wanted to go with him. She was really into the daiquiris I served and said he'd be fine. After they left, I found out the kids had peed all over my bathroom, everywhere but the toilet and pooped in the sink. It's a pedestal sink, so I don't even know how he got up there. Upside is, mom came over to clean up the mess and we've become really good friends since.

She came back and cleaned up after they left? What did you do, call her and tell her about the mess? And a newly potty trained kid pooped in a pedestal sink? Creative and athletic, I guess.

She called me to thank me for the play date and could tell something was wrong. She hung up and ran over. When she saw the mess, she just got in there and cleaned.

[Anonymous]

Invited nursery school friend over for a drop off playdate with son and nanny. Friend's father comes to pick him up and takes son home. I call for playdate the next week and father says yes. Mother calls back and says her child will never go to my house again because when father picked up his son, my nanny was asleep on the couch. Father gets on phone to explain and says the nanny was sleeping when he arrived to pick up his son so he took his son and left mine completely unattended without waking the nanny. They didn't have the decency to tell me that my nanny was asleep on the job and left my 3 year old completely unattended and then basically reamed me out two weeks later.

[Anonymous]

Invited little girl from preschool and her mom over for lunch play date. About 30 minutes in the little girl gets angry at my DD and says loudly I don't want to play any more, I don't like it here, and cries loudly. My DD then starts crying in sympathy . I saw to other mom it sounds like things aren't going well and we should split them up and let them play on Monday. Other mom says no we are going to stay for lunch. And they did because I couldn't figure out how to throw them out.

And old time story from my childhood. My mom invites 2 boys and her good friend over to play with my little brother. It's late fall and 1 boy asks to swim in our pool. Mom says no because pool is too cold and then moms chat and much later discover boy got mad and threw rocks into pool, so many they cover one side of bottom of pool. When mom sees it she shrieks and runs away. Hours later her husband shows up and says he was sent to clean out the pool because of what his son did. My parents tell him it's not necessary. It he says he can't go home to his wife until it's done. So my dad lends him a wet suit and he swims in pool and pulls out every rock.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Invited nursery school friend over for a drop off playdate with son and nanny. Friend's father comes to pick him up and takes son home. I call for playdate the next week and father says yes. Mother calls back and says her child will never go to my house again because when father picked up his son, my nanny was asleep on the couch. Father gets on phone to explain and says the nanny was sleeping when he arrived to pick up his son so he took his son and left mine completely unattended without waking the nanny. They didn't have the decency to tell me that my nanny was asleep on the job and left my 3 year old completely unattended and then basically reamed me out two weeks later.

Why would you invite a child over for a drop off playdate when you weren't going to be the responsible adult?!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Invited nursery school friend over for a drop off playdate with son and nanny. Friend's father comes to pick him up and takes son home. I call for playdate the next week and father says yes. Mother calls back and says her child will never go to my house again because when father picked up his son, my nanny was asleep on the couch. Father gets on phone to explain and says the nanny was sleeping when he arrived to pick up his son so he took his son and left mine completely unattended without waking the nanny. They didn't have the decency to tell me that my nanny was asleep on the job and left my 3 year old completely unattended and then basically reamed me out two weeks later.

Why would you invite a child over for a drop off playdate when you weren't going to be the responsible adult?!

NP here, but I assume PP wasn't home. "Jimmy would love to have Larlo come over. Nanny will be here with them as I'll be at work."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:New-mom friend(?) who I had just been introduced to at preschool, invited me to her house so our children could play. After I arrived the Mom left the house w/out any real explanation but as she was heading out the door said I should make myself feel at home and help myself to anything in the kitchen. Left me to socialize with the nanny (generally non-English speaking) who wasn't any help for an explanation.

LOL I wonder if this was me? Occasionally some SAHMs from my preschool ask to do playdates with my child. I always explain I work full-time (most days at home but sometimes in office), but they never seem to understand that means I'll be upstairs in my office working or will have to go into my office for meetings during the day. Like, NEVER. This has happened 3-4 times to me over the years. I don't want to make anyone sad, but I can't hang out and drink wine "on the clock" at work (no matter how desperately I'd like to!). I work after the kids are asleep most nights and I can't take down time during the day without it cutting into family time later!

What? Did you not explain to the moms that you won't be there, but the nanny would? I also WAH, and when I make playdates with SAHM-- especially for preschoolers--I make sure to plan it on a day that I won't be working or on a weekend. I assumed that all working moms did this? I think it is really awkward to schedule a playdate between your nanny and another mom. At age 3, the playdates are not just about the kids getting along, but connecting with other parents.

Yes. As per bolded I always explain if it's during the workday I can't be around. They have insisted that's no big deal, a couple have even bonded with our nanny (who's young and awesome and fun to be around) but a couple have only requested to come over during the week once and then switched to weekends/evenings. My take was that they didn't think I was serious that I have to work during the day.

I have three kids so you don't need to instruct me on what playdates are about A good playdate is of course as much about the caregivers/parents getting along as the kids (and the best have booze, but hey...) -- no reason caregivers and parents can't become friends unless you're classist.

No, that is not an explanation. That is a statement about the total number of hours you work per week. I work full time, but that does not mean that I work from 8-5; I don't. Clearly you aren't explaining it as they "like, NEVER" understand. Why don't you just say, I will have to be upstairs working during that whole time. THAT would explain it. Instead you have repeatedly put people in awkward positions without ever acknowledging that your lack of communication could have caused the problem.

Not to pile on, but I'm mystified why, if you say "we would love to see Clara at 10 am to play with Stella, but just so you know I will be working in my office and our nanny Susan will be there to supervise the children and looks forward to getting to know you if you are going to stay while the girls stay."

Why is that not said, and how is that unclear

Yeah I think you're doing it wrong. For example, if you say something like: "A playdate? Well, I work full time but you are welcome to bring little Jimmy over on Thursday" I would find that ambiguous -- you work full time but you're inviting us over with no other qualifiers so maybe you're taking the morning off to make special time for us? Or maybe you'd have a caretaker there to watch the kids, but since you didn't mention them, I wouldn't be sure.

If you said instead, "A playdate? I work full time so I can say hi when you arrive but then my nanny will be there to take over" I would understand exactly. I mean, I'm a SAHM but I'm also a lawyer with an ivy league degree -- I'm not stupid. If I tried this once at your house and then didn't reschedule to do it again, it's not because I'm too dumb to understand you. It's because I'm game to try new things, but I'm not so desperate for activities that I'll agree to repeat a dull one over and over. Maybe your nanny and I didn't click, or maybe now that I've seen the kids play together one on one or talked to your nanny for a while there are some things I wanted to talk to you directly about.

Pro tip: SAHMs can actually understand you when you use your words to speak to us, EVEN THOUGH YOU WORK FULL TIME.

[Anonymous]

After a (new) playmate left our house, our 2nd grade son came to us and said, "I don't think I'm suppose to have these" They were firecrackers. Given to him, in our house, by the "new" friend. I couldn't believe that under my watch something terrible could have happened, right inside our house. I had answered the door, greeted the son and father - probably taken the boy's coat - and yet he had brought firecrackers into our house. BUT it gets more bizarre - - I'm thinking OMG these parents have no idea their son came with these firecrackers so I call the parents. The mother was apologetic but said, "I'm so sorry, when my husband dropped off our son, he was suppose to ask you if your son could have the firecrackers" WHAT??! On what planet do new friends come bearing gifts of firecrackers? I was angry/upset, so the mother got off the phone quickly saying she wanted her husband to talk to me. Later that evening the husband called. Said he knew I was upset and knew why. He had made a mistake. He said, "because, as it turned out, the firecrackers we brought were MUCH more dangerous than the firecrackers we meant to give you."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is a horrible story and it's gross. It still gives me shudders.

Play date kid went to the bathroom by himself. Since he was recently potty trained, I nervously asked my new mom friend if she wanted to go with him. She was really into the daiquiris I served and said he'd be fine. After they left, I found out the kids had peed all over my bathroom, everywhere but the toilet and pooped in the sink. It's a pedestal sink, so I don't even know how he got up there. Upside is, mom came over to clean up the mess and we've become really good friends since.

LMAO. Good story Glad the mom did her duty though