Tell me about your worst playdate stories

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:New-mom friend(?) who I had just been introduced to at preschool, invited me to her house so our children could play. After I arrived the Mom left the house w/out any real explanation but as she was heading out the door said I should make myself feel at home and help myself to anything in the kitchen. Left me to socialize with the nanny (generally non-English speaking) who wasn't any help for an explanation.

LOL I wonder if this was me? Occasionally some SAHMs from my preschool ask to do playdates with my child. I always explain I work full-time (most days at home but sometimes in office), but they never seem to understand that means I'll be upstairs in my office working or will have to go into my office for meetings during the day. Like, NEVER. This has happened 3-4 times to me over the years. I don't want to make anyone sad, but I can't hang out and drink wine "on the clock" at work (no matter how desperately I'd like to!). I work after the kids are asleep most nights and I can't take down time during the day without it cutting into family time later!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is a horrible story and it's gross. It still gives me shudders.

Play date kid went to the bathroom by himself. Since he was recently potty trained, I nervously asked my new mom friend if she wanted to go with him. She was really into the daiquiris I served and said he'd be fine. After they left, I found out the kids had peed all over my bathroom, everywhere but the toilet and pooped in the sink. It's a pedestal sink, so I don't even know how he got up there. Upside is, mom came over to clean up the mess and we've become really good friends since.

She came back and cleaned up after they left? What did you do, call her and tell her about the mess? And a newly potty trained kid pooped in a pedestal sink? Creative and athletic, I guess.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:New-mom friend(?) who I had just been introduced to at preschool, invited me to her house so our children could play. After I arrived the Mom left the house w/out any real explanation but as she was heading out the door said I should make myself feel at home and help myself to anything in the kitchen. Left me to socialize with the nanny (generally non-English speaking) who wasn't any help for an explanation.

LOL I wonder if this was me? Occasionally some SAHMs from my preschool ask to do playdates with my child. I always explain I work full-time (most days at home but sometimes in office), but they never seem to understand that means I'll be upstairs in my office working or will have to go into my office for meetings during the day. Like, NEVER. This has happened 3-4 times to me over the years. I don't want to make anyone sad, but I can't hang out and drink wine "on the clock" at work (no matter how desperately I'd like to!). I work after the kids are asleep most nights and I can't take down time during the day without it cutting into family time later!

Oh, and my foreign nanny is great and speaks lovely English, though with an accent and with a little less grasp on puns/idioms than a native speaker.

[Anonymous]

Had just moved to DC area and had a young 2 year old. Met a group of very La Leche League a parents and we did a round robin of houses each week for playdate. There were not my type, but I was so desperate for company as my husband was working long hours at a new job and I knew NO ONE. On e week we get to one of the women's houses and she says, Oh I have to show you guys what my boyfriend (father of child) has been working on and hands my child and another 2 yr old a long hand-blown glass object. Aren't they awesome, she asks? Yes, but we are nervous as they are glass. What are they? Oh, he had a special order from some guys in DC for dildos. Aren't they awesome? Just the right weight, she said.

I just about DIED.

That is true story. Swear to God. Last playdate with that family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:New-mom friend(?) who I had just been introduced to at preschool, invited me to her house so our children could play. After I arrived the Mom left the house w/out any real explanation but as she was heading out the door said I should make myself feel at home and help myself to anything in the kitchen. Left me to socialize with the nanny (generally non-English speaking) who wasn't any help for an explanation.

LOL I wonder if this was me? Occasionally some SAHMs from my preschool ask to do playdates with my child. I always explain I work full-time (most days at home but sometimes in office), but they never seem to understand that means I'll be upstairs in my office working or will have to go into my office for meetings during the day. Like, NEVER. This has happened 3-4 times to me over the years. I don't want to make anyone sad, but I can't hang out and drink wine "on the clock" at work (no matter how desperately I'd like to!). I work after the kids are asleep most nights and I can't take down time during the day without it cutting into family time later!

What? Did you not explain to the moms that you won't be there, but the nanny would? I also WAH, and when I make playdates with SAHM-- especially for preschoolers--I make sure to plan it on a day that I won't be working or on a weekend. I assumed that all working moms did this? I think it is really awkward to schedule a playdate between your nanny and another mom. At age 3, the playdates are not just about the kids getting along, but connecting with other parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I went to an acquaintance's home for a playdate. She has 5 kids and I brought my younger 2, who were 2 and 6 months at the time. My older DC was at school but all of hers were at home, since she home schools.

We got there and her kids were super polite and played with my 2 year old wonderfully. Until...the older girl leaned over, grabbed a trashcan (like a bathroom sized trashcan) and vomited into it. I was horrified. I looked at my friend and she casually mentioned, "Oh yeah, they all have some sort of stomach thing right now."

I must have looked horrified because she ordered the girl up to go wash her hands. Meanwhile I set the baby in his car seat to get my 2 yo's coat on. I planned to just nicely thank her and be on my way. While I was prepping the 2 yo to leave, her 4 yo comes over and, yes, pukes all over my baby and his car seat.

It was insane. I had to stay and wash baby and clean car seat as best I could. We hustled home as fast as possible. As you might've guessed, we all came down with a horrible bout of gastro about 2 days later. It was awful. Even DH and my older DC were not spared.

I have never spoken to that acquaintance again.

Oh. My. No.
Just no.
Agggghhhh!!!

[Anonymous]

Really nothing too awful that I can think of. Some clogged toilet stories (kids using too much TP) but beyond that they all went o.k. Nothing really noteworthy.

I'm feeling pretty lucky right now after reading some of these stories!

[Anonymous]

**Let me preface this by saying I nursed both my boys until they were 1, and they didn't love covers and I did nurse in public but tries to walk a line between comfort and being disscreet.

I went to a new friends home for a play date with our 3 year olds and her 2 year old. I knew she was a little hippie crunchy and really liked her from our interactions at preschool.
She answered the door with a men's shirt on, unbuttoned to her navel, and as soon as I was in there she undid the whole thing so it was casually open in front, with full view of both large boobs, so her 2 year old could walk up whenever he wanted and have a drink.
So we sat at her kitchen table drinking coffee while she had both boobs out and would occasionally have to lean over when she felt her son tug and want a drink.
I fought a furious battle in my head trying to be open and nonjudgmental that I ultimately lost after futily trying to look anywhere, anywhere else but at her chest. It was like Jesus himself was beckoning me to look, I literally could not *not* see them, like they were following me or a weird Mona Lisa type thing.
I was so exhausted from the effort to not think it was weird and be normal that I had to take a Tylenol and go to bed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Here's mine: I had my Best friend over for dinner with her almost 5 year old. Her child would not stop going all over our house (my bedroom, office) even though we asked her multiple times to stay downstairs. She tried to hit our TV with a hammer, knocked pictures over, and stood in front of our TV screaming to annoy my 7 year old. My friend just ignored her child or would give a half hearted stop that while filling her wine glass.

You are a really feeble, wimpy, weak-ass, pathetic individual if you did not put a stop to this.

Fer chrissake, why didn't you tell your "friend" very firmly, "if you don't make her stop, THEN I WILL"?

Wow, a bit harsh don't you think? I did nicely stop her each time, but again this is a very good friend of mine who was visiting. I was not going to ruin the friendship by being to confrontational. We normally see one another without the kids since we live far from one another.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:New-mom friend(?) who I had just been introduced to at preschool, invited me to her house so our children could play. After I arrived the Mom left the house w/out any real explanation but as she was heading out the door said I should make myself feel at home and help myself to anything in the kitchen. Left me to socialize with the nanny (generally non-English speaking) who wasn't any help for an explanation.

LOL I wonder if this was me? Occasionally some SAHMs from my preschool ask to do playdates with my child. I always explain I work full-time (most days at home but sometimes in office), but they never seem to understand that means I'll be upstairs in my office working or will have to go into my office for meetings during the day. Like, NEVER. This has happened 3-4 times to me over the years. I don't want to make anyone sad, but I can't hang out and drink wine "on the clock" at work (no matter how desperately I'd like to!). I work after the kids are asleep most nights and I can't take down time during the day without it cutting into family time later!

What? Did you not explain to the moms that you won't be there, but the nanny would? I also WAH, and when I make playdates with SAHM-- especially for preschoolers--I make sure to plan it on a day that I won't be working or on a weekend. I assumed that all working moms did this? I think it is really awkward to schedule a playdate between your nanny and another mom. At age 3, the playdates are not just about the kids getting along, but connecting with other parents.

Seriously! That would be so odd. This seems like the height of rudeness for a preschool play date. I too work at home, but that doesn't mean that I can't ever take a break. I would absolutely never ever invite over a preschool playdate (which are often more about the parents than anything) in this situation without explaining very clearly that I wouldn't be available. In fact, I would probably suggest that it be a dropoff and let the nanny take care of both kids. Never would I make the mom hang out with the nanny the whole time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:New-mom friend(?) who I had just been introduced to at preschool, invited me to her house so our children could play. After I arrived the Mom left the house w/out any real explanation but as she was heading out the door said I should make myself feel at home and help myself to anything in the kitchen. Left me to socialize with the nanny (generally non-English speaking) who wasn't any help for an explanation.

LOL I wonder if this was me? Occasionally some SAHMs from my preschool ask to do playdates with my child. I always explain I work full-time (most days at home but sometimes in office), but they never seem to understand that means I'll be upstairs in my office working or will have to go into my office for meetings during the day. Like, NEVER. This has happened 3-4 times to me over the years. I don't want to make anyone sad, but I can't hang out and drink wine "on the clock" at work (no matter how desperately I'd like to!). I work after the kids are asleep most nights and I can't take down time during the day without it cutting into family time later!

What? Did you not explain to the moms that you won't be there, but the nanny would? I also WAH, and when I make playdates with SAHM-- especially for preschoolers--I make sure to plan it on a day that I won't be working or on a weekend. I assumed that all working moms did this? I think it is really awkward to schedule a playdate between your nanny and another mom. At age 3, the playdates are not just about the kids getting along, but connecting with other parents.

Yes. As per bolded I always explain if it's during the workday I can't be around. They have insisted that's no big deal, a couple have even bonded with our nanny (who's young and awesome and fun to be around) but a couple have only requested to come over during the week once and then switched to weekends/evenings. My take was that they didn't think I was serious that I have to work during the day.

I have three kids so you don't need to instruct me on what playdates are about A good playdate is of course as much about the caregivers/parents getting along as the kids (and the best have booze, but hey...) -- no reason caregivers and parents can't become friends unless you're classist.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:New-mom friend(?) who I had just been introduced to at preschool, invited me to her house so our children could play. After I arrived the Mom left the house w/out any real explanation but as she was heading out the door said I should make myself feel at home and help myself to anything in the kitchen. Left me to socialize with the nanny (generally non-English speaking) who wasn't any help for an explanation.

LOL I wonder if this was me? Occasionally some SAHMs from my preschool ask to do playdates with my child. I always explain I work full-time (most days at home but sometimes in office), but they never seem to understand that means I'll be upstairs in my office working or will have to go into my office for meetings during the day. Like, NEVER. This has happened 3-4 times to me over the years. I don't want to make anyone sad, but I can't hang out and drink wine "on the clock" at work (no matter how desperately I'd like to!). I work after the kids are asleep most nights and I can't take down time during the day without it cutting into family time later!

What? Did you not explain to the moms that you won't be there, but the nanny would? I also WAH, and when I make playdates with SAHM-- especially for preschoolers--I make sure to plan it on a day that I won't be working or on a weekend. I assumed that all working moms did this? I think it is really awkward to schedule a playdate between your nanny and another mom. At age 3, the playdates are not just about the kids getting along, but connecting with other parents.

Seriously! That would be so odd. This seems like the height of rudeness for a preschool play date. I too work at home, but that doesn't mean that I can't ever take a break. I would absolutely never ever invite over a preschool playdate (which are often more about the parents than anything) in this situation without explaining very clearly that I wouldn't be available. In fact, I would probably suggest that it be a dropoff and let the nanny take care of both kids. Never would I make the mom hang out with the nanny the whole time.

You must have a more laid-back job than I do, I'm jealous.

And I think it's sort of gross you think a mom would never deign to hang out with a nanny. Yikes. They aren't servants, you know, and this isn't Downton Abbey.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:New-mom friend(?) who I had just been introduced to at preschool, invited me to her house so our children could play. After I arrived the Mom left the house w/out any real explanation but as she was heading out the door said I should make myself feel at home and help myself to anything in the kitchen. Left me to socialize with the nanny (generally non-English speaking) who wasn't any help for an explanation.

LOL I wonder if this was me? Occasionally some SAHMs from my preschool ask to do playdates with my child. I always explain I work full-time (most days at home but sometimes in office), but they never seem to understand that means I'll be upstairs in my office working or will have to go into my office for meetings during the day. Like, NEVER. This has happened 3-4 times to me over the years. I don't want to make anyone sad, but I can't hang out and drink wine "on the clock" at work (no matter how desperately I'd like to!). I work after the kids are asleep most nights and I can't take down time during the day without it cutting into family time later!

What? Did you not explain to the moms that you won't be there, but the nanny would? I also WAH, and when I make playdates with SAHM-- especially for preschoolers--I make sure to plan it on a day that I won't be working or on a weekend. I assumed that all working moms did this? I think it is really awkward to schedule a playdate between your nanny and another mom. At age 3, the playdates are not just about the kids getting along, but connecting with other parents.

Seriously! That would be so odd. This seems like the height of rudeness for a preschool play date. I too work at home, but that doesn't mean that I can't ever take a break. I would absolutely never ever invite over a preschool playdate (which are often more about the parents than anything) in this situation without explaining very clearly that I wouldn't be available. In fact, I would probably suggest that it be a dropoff and let the nanny take care of both kids. Never would I make the mom hang out with the nanny the whole time.

You both are normal. I was the recipient of this type of deal. Except the mom WOTH. She invited both of my kids 4 and 2 to come play with her 3 yr old twins. Great...and then I was stuck hanging out with the Au Pair. I posted about it here and DCUM ripped me a new one for being so shallow that I couldn't hang out with the Au Pair for a few hours. I did it. I wasn't shallow. But the Au Pair was maybe 22-23 and I'm 45. We really didn't have a lot to chit chat about. I spent a lot of time asking her how she like the US, what classes she was taking, what she like to do with her friends, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Here's mine: I had my Best friend over for dinner with her almost 5 year old. Her child would not stop going all over our house (my bedroom, office) even though we asked her multiple times to stay downstairs. She tried to hit our TV with a hammer, knocked pictures over, and stood in front of our TV screaming to annoy my 7 year old. My friend just ignored her child or would give a half hearted stop that while filling her wine glass.

You are a really feeble, wimpy, weak-ass, pathetic individual if you did not put a stop to this.

Fer chrissake, why didn't you tell your "friend" very firmly, "if you don't make her stop, THEN I WILL"?

Wow, a bit harsh don't you think? I did nicely stop her each time, but again this is a very good friend of mine who was visiting. I was not going to ruin the friendship by being to confrontational. We normally see one another without the kids since we live far from one another.

A couple of incidents and you could let it go, but if the kid was constantly, badly misbehaving, as you said, then you should have put your foot down.

She is the one ruining the friendship by letting her kid run riot in your house.

And if she is a really good friend... then "control your fucking monster of a kid" is a message that you should be able to convey without ruining the friendship. If that message does ruin the friendship, you were never really good friends in the first place.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is a horrible story and it's gross. It still gives me shudders.

Play date kid went to the bathroom by himself. Since he was recently potty trained, I nervously asked my new mom friend if she wanted to go with him. She was really into the daiquiris I served and said he'd be fine. After they left, I found out the kids had peed all over my bathroom, everywhere but the toilet and pooped in the sink. It's a pedestal sink, so I don't even know how he got up there. Upside is, mom came over to clean up the mess and we've become really good friends since.

This is a great story to tell the kids when they're much older. I'm glad she did the right thing and cleaned it up. Good for you for giving her and her kids a second chance. My BFF today was my boss at my first job 30 years. She fired me. Today she knows every dark secret about my life.