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+1000 My kids are exactly as you describe (as am I). They detest things like pep rallies, car wash fundraisers, "spirit week," etc. Anything that requires them to prance around and scream with feigned excitement. On the other hand, they are excellent students who love nothing more than curling up with good books or having deep discussions about subjects that interest them. However, there's no way to convey that kind of personality to colleges. Apparently, all they want to see are the leaders, the class officers, the kids who spearhead some enormous, all-night charity dance-a-thon. My kids love to learn, but they just don't fit the kind of mold that puts them on display at all times. Too bad, because they would be incredible assets to any college. Your kids can still be leaders as intellectuals (tutoring, reading to the elderly, teaching computer skills to low-income people) |
These are the choices, as you perceive them? Wow. |
This has not been my son's experience at all. His extra-curricular activities have all been of the more intellectual sort. He too reads books on economics and history for pleasure and loves to discuss them with others. He's was accepted at many fine colleges. We found it was best for him to target smaller colleges where interviews were weighted heavily. That said, I think it's possible to value talents/personalities/interests like those our children have without denigrating those of more extroverted kids. "Prancing and screaming?" Really? |
Your kids can still be leaders as intellectuals (tutoring, reading to the elderly, teaching computer skills to low-income people) ^^Yes, this is exactly the kind of extracurriculars my DS was involved in. (But I think it's pretty silly to cast these as "leadership" activities.) |
University of Chicago looks for these kids. Their Uncommon Essays really give kids a chance to show off their intellectual playfulness. Teacher recommendations are another place where these qualities may shine through. No interview required at U of C. Canadian universities might be another place to look -- McGill cares about your coursework, your grades, and your scores. No teacher recs, no ECs, no interviews. |
The elite colleges make an effort to get to know the high schools across the country. They surely know what an A means at various schools. They send their admissions rep to visit schools in every state. Our independent school does not offer AP courses, per se, yet our kids took AP exams and got college credit. My best friend's daughter is at a highly competitive public high school taking AP classes that consist of mindless memorizing and test prep. No papers, no projects, just read and memorize, read and memorize. It seems to me, and to my friend, that the AP classes are a complete waste of time. Her child is learning very little, aside from how to go through boring books and memorize a lot of information quickly, all of which will be forgotten as soon as the AP test is over because it means so little to her daughter. My kids did not have that experience. They wrote papers, they did projects, they were required to think about what they were learning. No rote memorization or plowing through loads of information just because it "might be" on the AP test. No learning about the trick questions on AP tests. My children got a great education, and yes, by the way, did well on the AP exams. But that's not an accurate measure of their education, their capacity for learning or thinking. My friend's daughter, who's very bright, will probably get 4s and 5s too on her AP exams, but she's not going to end up nearly as well educated as my children (my friend and I agree on this). The AP exam measures acquired knowledge, but little else. I don't think AP exams matter, and I respect schools that disregard them in their admissions process. |
How will we train all those therapists necessary for the high-scorers who end up dissatisfied with their careers and lives because they've been striving their whole lives and have nothing emotionally satisfying to show for it? |
I know two really unpleasant, hugely competitive kids of enormously competitive parents who attend Harvard and Yale. These kids excelled at sports and did well academically at so-so private schools. The parents wanted the prestige of having their kids at "top" Ivies, and they succeeded. I'm hoping the kids have trust funds for therapy, because they are going to need it. I've talked with these kids (and their parents) and they are really disgusting people. But the kids had the creds, and they got in. I can't understand why Harvard and Yale accept kids like this. They are going to become horrible adults, interested only in advancing themselves and not in improving the world for the rest of the human race. Getting rid of test scores and GPA and all that crap would require the elite schools to work harder to figure out who the real leaders are, who the deepest thinkers are, who the most compassionate and dedicated people are and offer them the very great privilege of attending their universities. The world does not need another corporate lawyer or investment banker, and elite institutions should recognize this and let those people attend other schools. None of those lawyers or bankers makes the world a better place, and the elite institutions should not be educating them. |
You mean where fun goes to die? Nothing like an institution that recruits "creative" kids and crushes them under a rigid curriculum and grade deflation. |
Because a huge number of bankers and lawyers put in their time, build up their savings, then quit to put their talents to use in better places. If you aren't aware of this trend, then you're not running in the right circles. |
I have a child like this. I think he should go to Harvard, but he'll never get there. He's an extremely thoughtful kid who rails against the idiocy of many of his classes, does indifferent work (I can hardly blame him) and gets Bs when he could easily get As if he jumped through all the hoops. I'm sure he'll do fine in college, but he won't be able to attend a highly selective college under the current admissions structure. He does not have the GPA, and that eliminates him before any of his other qualities, his intellectual abilities, his curiosity, his creativity can be considered. Even if he gets perfect SATs, he's out of the running. I have a friend who does alumni interviews for Harvard. He agrees that my son would be great at Harvard, would thrive and grow and be a superb addition to the community. But without those grades, my son has no chance to have that experience. I'm sure my kid will do fine elsewhere, and in the long run, it doesn't matter. But there's a symbiosis at places like Harvard that's cut short when kids like mine are not part of the mix. A child who won't jump through hoops is more creative, more intelligent, more interesting than the ones who do. I admire iconoclasts, and perhaps Harvard and the other elite schools are finally realizing that if they want to continue to produce the most innovative thinkers, they will have to expand their admissions process to include kids whose minds do not fill little boxes and circles. |
Oh please. Show me one. Please. |
Depends on your definition of fun. If it's curling up with a good book or having deep discussions about subjects that interest you, then you'll find kindred spirits at Chicago. If "you're a work hard, play hard type" who takes an instrumental view of education then, yeah, you probably won't think Chicago is fun. Plenty of things to do there besides classes, but classes are challenging and you have to take them seriously. |
If he's blowing off HS because it's BS, what outlet has he found for his curiosity/creativity/intellectual abilities? If he's doing something interesting/impressive outside of school, GPA will matter less at some schools. Harvard's always admitted kids who think outside the box but applicants have to manifest that trait in some way other than refusing to jump through hoops. |
It will remain to be see if the elite colleges actually do change their admissions criteria in time. That would be very interesting if they did. It would make the admissions process baffling to college guidance counselors at high schools all over the country. It's a good idea in theory, but in practice they need to figure out how to implement the concept of holistic admissions when they have thousands of applicants for very few places. How do they weed down the pile? I agree with PP that it's not likely anything will change in the near future. |