Deal Middle School -- no leggings

[Anonymous]

Discussions about modesty for girls make me sick. There's nothing wrong with the female body. You know what you get when you start hiding it? You get a bunch of really creepy, pervy men.

What's next? When these girls swim should they wear modesty pants? Track and field? Cheerleading?

People who worry about what teenagers are wearing have their own issues. Don't transfer that cap on your kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I'm with the middle school teacher. This is what she's talking about, and it's not OK for 12 year old minors to look like this, and those odd "anti-shaming" feminist PPs who think this is ok for minor children are really stupid and not using their Oberlin/Kenyon/Bates/Smith thinking caps.

Who are we (or the school staff) to decide what it's appropriate for other people's kids to wear? As long as it's not unsafe (open toe shoes in a science lab, flip flops in PE), mind your own business. Schools take their position of authority too far. Who asked them what our kids should wear?

If you're so upset about it, perhaps you should homeschool.

[Anonymous]

I wore uniforms K-12 and loved it. You never had to have these arguments and never had to stress about what to wear to school. We are IB for Deal but I almost wish our kids would go to Hardy just for the uniforms.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wore uniforms K-12 and loved it. You never had to have these arguments and never had to stress about what to wear to school. We are IB for Deal but I almost wish our kids would go to Hardy just for the uniforms.

"Almost", huh?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

The person in the photo is wearing transparent leggings/tights over a visible thong.

A rule requiring opaque fabric and no visible underwear would make the difference

And how will this determination be made? Will the girl go to the office and bend over in a bright light before a committee of teachers? does that strike you as a workable solution? Or does it (I hope) seem like rape-light?

It's simpler and more detached and matter-of-fact to just ban categories: X (leggings, all of them) Y (boxers that can be seen) and Z (bras as shirts, say. Or ball caps. Or wetsuits).

This was going to be my response exactly. The parents that keep contesting and saying it's the parent's responsibility and not the school's are dead wrong. It absolutely is the school's responsibility as parent's acceptable clothing can be such a wide range (see this post). And to the PP, the school absolutely can and will suspend a student for not adhering to the dress code. I agree that I don't think leggings are appropriate as pants. I don't care if they are in every clothing catalog and "the norm" for teen girls these days. Booty shorts are the norm, as are skimpy bikinis, I don't think they should be allowed. I also judge parents that allow their kids to wear this kind of clothing and contribute to society thinking this American apparel short shorts fad is the norm. Shame on you parents of girls that allow this to continue. I am no prude but I do think girls should dress appropriately until they are 18. Then I couldn't care less what they wear.

[Anonymous]

I see way too many girls dressing like this for school and I am appalled that parents think this is ok.

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-BU-vTP9W2aw/UgRp7zzZM-I/AAAAAAAAGpY/QXUo4x6iQlc/s1600/20130805_034721.jpg




If you think this is okay for a 12 year old girl, yes, I judge you. It has nothing to do with a girl "coming into her body" it has to no with self respect for one's body. Want to wear this at the beach, idk, but don't send your kids to school like this and don't fight because the school is trying to fight this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I see way too many girls dressing like this for school and I am appalled that parents think this is ok.

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-BU-vTP9W2aw/UgRp7zzZM-I/AAAAAAAAGpY/QXUo4x6iQlc/s1600/20130805_034721.jpg




If you think this is okay for a 12 year old girl, yes, I judge you. It has nothing to do with a girl "coming into her body" it has to no with self respect for one's body. Want to wear this at the beach, idk, but don't send your kids to school like this and don't fight because the school is trying to fight this.

Those aren't leggings. They are shorts. If you were arguing that Deal should ban shorts, that photo might be useful. In fact Deal does allow shorts.

This is a t shirt:

Perhaps schools should ban shirts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

If you think this is okay for a 12 year old girl, yes, I judge you. It has nothing to do with a girl "coming into her body" it has to no with self respect for one's body. Want to wear this at the beach, idk, but don't send your kids to school like this and don't fight because the school is trying to fight this.

You don't even seem to understand the point. Girls bodies belong to them - not to the general public. Unless they ask you directly what you think of their clothes, you can assume that they (and their parents) are not interested. Telling girls what they can and cannot wear sends the message that they have to present themselves in a way that is pleasing to other people - and that's more important than pleasing themselves.

It is creepy and controlling for you to be so judgemental about what other people are wearing and I find it impossible to understand why you (and school administrators) feel justified in expressing your (unwanted) opinions.

(Also - maybe lay off on the Google searches for pictures of teenagers asses.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

If you think this is okay for a 12 year old girl, yes, I judge you. It has nothing to do with a girl "coming into her body" it has to no with self respect for one's body. Want to wear this at the beach, idk, but don't send your kids to school like this and don't fight because the school is trying to fight this.

You don't even seem to understand the point. Girls bodies belong to them - not to the general public. Unless they ask you directly what you think of their clothes, you can assume that they (and their parents) are not interested. Telling girls what they can and cannot wear sends the message that they have to present themselves in a way that is pleasing to other people - and that's more important than pleasing themselves.

It is creepy and controlling for you to be so judgemental about what other people are wearing and I find it impossible to understand why you (and school administrators) feel justified in expressing your (unwanted) opinions.

(Also - maybe lay off on the Google searches for pictures of teenagers asses.)

Actually, the dress code does ban short shorts (above) so I am glad that they do. You think a girl's dress code should be determined by her, she will wear those shorts. It's a slippery slope. The school should determine the dress code just like an employer should enforce a dress code.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

If you think this is okay for a 12 year old girl, yes, I judge you. It has nothing to do with a girl "coming into her body" it has to no with self respect for one's body. Want to wear this at the beach, idk, but don't send your kids to school like this and don't fight because the school is trying to fight this.

You don't even seem to understand the point. Girls bodies belong to them - not to the general public. Unless they ask you directly what you think of their clothes, you can assume that they (and their parents) are not interested. Telling girls what they can and cannot wear sends the message that they have to present themselves in a way that is pleasing to other people - and that's more important than pleasing themselves.

It is creepy and controlling for you to be so judgemental about what other people are wearing and I find it impossible to understand why you (and school administrators) feel justified in expressing your (unwanted) opinions.

(Also - maybe lay off on the Google searches for pictures of teenagers asses.)

I am not the one that posted pics before but I do think it's important to show a pic for discussion.

If you think this is ok for a girl to express herself and dress however she wants, you need to homeschool.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Here's the problem - Leggings, unlike say tube tops or crop tops, are now a totally normal part of pre-pubescent clothing these days. To have them be ok on 8 year olds and then suddenly not ok on 13 year olds can mean only one thing- they become "revealing" only when the girls' bodies have changed and matured. By definition we are saying that it's the more mature girls' bodies that are unacceptable -- which is sexist and silly.

Exactly.

You're assuming that they're all opaque an they're not!! I know that some people want to think that it's about a girl's developing body and protecting boys, but it's actually more about the quality of the product. Some leggings are nice and opaque, others are shockingly thin and reveal everything. Most of our kids like shopping at places like H&M, Zara, or Forever 21, and the items from those stores don't hold up in the wash long term. If this was about sexism, I would be up in arms, but I think it's more about girls going to school revealing much more than they intended to.

I think it would be fine to have an opaque-only rule. No problem.

Exactly. The dress code says that no underwear can be visible. They could simply elaborate by saying that includes exposed underwear (above waistband), underwear that is visible through sheer fabric, and possibly visible underwear lines (though I think many teachers in skirts or slacks would get "dress coded" on that one).

Or they could ban sheer or transparent clothing.

Or they could specify how loose the leggings have to be, if what they're concerned about is a sausage casing look (though jeans or slacks on a very overweight person will also be very tight).

It's all silly. I'd never tell my daughter to violate the dress code or show disrespect for her school, but the rule is a silly one, grounded entirely in the false idea that a girl's natural shape is inappropriate.

Do you REALLY want to be the teacher or staff member who has to tell a girl you can see through the front of her pants?

Yeah, I see that going well.

Keep it simple. No leggings for boys or girls. Done.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

If you think this is okay for a 12 year old girl, yes, I judge you. It has nothing to do with a girl "coming into her body" it has to no with self respect for one's body. Want to wear this at the beach, idk, but don't send your kids to school like this and don't fight because the school is trying to fight this.

You don't even seem to understand the point. Girls bodies belong to them - not to the general public. Unless they ask you directly what you think of their clothes, you can assume that they (and their parents) are not interested. Telling girls what they can and cannot wear sends the message that they have to present themselves in a way that is pleasing to other people - and that's more important than pleasing themselves.

It is creepy and controlling for you to be so judgemental about what other people are wearing and I find it impossible to understand why you (and school administrators) feel justified in expressing your (unwanted) opinions.

(Also - maybe lay off on the Google searches for pictures of teenagers asses.)

THank you. What a weird obsession these scolds have with finding pictures.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

If you think this is okay for a 12 year old girl, yes, I judge you. It has nothing to do with a girl "coming into her body" it has to no with self respect for one's body. Want to wear this at the beach, idk, but don't send your kids to school like this and don't fight because the school is trying to fight this.

You don't even seem to understand the point. Girls bodies belong to them - not to the general public. Unless they ask you directly what you think of their clothes, you can assume that they (and their parents) are not interested. Telling girls what they can and cannot wear sends the message that they have to present themselves in a way that is pleasing to other people - and that's more important than pleasing themselves.

It is creepy and controlling for you to be so judgemental about what other people are wearing and I find it impossible to understand why you (and school administrators) feel justified in expressing your (unwanted) opinions.

(Also - maybe lay off on the Google searches for pictures of teenagers asses.)

THank you. What a weird obsession these scolds have with finding pictures.

Actually it's quite easy...Google "inappropriate leggings"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Here's the problem - Leggings, unlike say tube tops or crop tops, are now a totally normal part of pre-pubescent clothing these days. To have them be ok on 8 year olds and then suddenly not ok on 13 year olds can mean only one thing- they become "revealing" only when the girls' bodies have changed and matured. By definition we are saying that it's the more mature girls' bodies that are unacceptable -- which is sexist and silly.

Exactly.

You're assuming that they're all opaque an they're not!! I know that some people want to think that it's about a girl's developing body and protecting boys, but it's actually more about the quality of the product. Some leggings are nice and opaque, others are shockingly thin and reveal everything. Most of our kids like shopping at places like H&M, Zara, or Forever 21, and the items from those stores don't hold up in the wash long term. If this was about sexism, I would be up in arms, but I think it's more about girls going to school revealing much more than they intended to.

I think it would be fine to have an opaque-only rule. No problem.

Exactly. The dress code says that no underwear can be visible. They could simply elaborate by saying that includes exposed underwear (above waistband), underwear that is visible through sheer fabric, and possibly visible underwear lines (though I think many teachers in skirts or slacks would get "dress coded" on that one).

Or they could ban sheer or transparent clothing.

Or they could specify how loose the leggings have to be, if what they're concerned about is a sausage casing look (though jeans or slacks on a very overweight person will also be very tight).

It's all silly. I'd never tell my daughter to violate the dress code or show disrespect for her school, but the rule is a silly one, grounded entirely in the false idea that a girl's natural shape is inappropriate.

Do you REALLY want to be the teacher or staff member who has to tell a girl you can see through the front of her pants?

Yeah, I see that going well.

Keep it simple. No leggings for boys or girls. Done.

+100 there are some really questionable parents on this thread

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

You don't even seem to understand the point. Girls bodies belong to them - not to the general public. Unless they ask you directly what you think of their clothes, you can assume that they (and their parents) are not interested. Telling girls what they can and cannot wear sends the message that they have to present themselves in a way that is pleasing to other people - and that's more important than pleasing themselves.

It is creepy and controlling for you to be so judgemental about what other people are wearing and I find it impossible to understand why you (and school administrators) feel justified in expressing your (unwanted) opinions.

(Also - maybe lay off on the Google searches for pictures of teenagers asses.)

NP here. You don't seem to understand decorum, and you also cannot grasp that not every attire rule is about slut shaming and putting a thumb on the righteous power of the female. 'taint about girls bodies "belonging" to them. Duh. They can't do whatever they please with their bodies just because those bodies belong to them. They can't use their fierce bodies to kick a classmate in the throat, poop on the floor, have sex against their locker, or walk nude down the hall before first bell.

Breathe. And note that attire standards apply to all students, not just the girls.

Here are some other things that wouldn't be OK at Deal: