In all seriousness: What qualifies as a sexless marriage?

[Anonymous]

We definitely have sex less than once a month. Maybe 2-3x/year now. We have a toddler. DH says it's enough for him. His previous marriage was sexless for a year or two at a time for 15 years, so he says once every mo th or two is normal for people in their 40s with a toddler.

I have been rejected so much that I essentially have given up initiating. So maybe he would complain that I don't initiate more, but honestly there's only so much rejection I can take.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We definitely have sex less than once a month. Maybe 2-3x/year now. We have a toddler. DH says it's enough for him. His previous marriage was sexless for a year or two at a time for 15 years, so he says once every mo th or two is normal for people in their 40s with a toddler.

I have been rejected so much that I essentially have given up initiating. So maybe he would complain that I don't initiate more, but honestly there's only so much rejection I can take.

What would he say if it's not nearly enough for you and that you can't live the rest of your life on 6-10 fucks a year?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We definitely have sex less than once a month. Maybe 2-3x/year now. We have a toddler. DH says it's enough for him. His previous marriage was sexless for a year or two at a time for 15 years, so he says once every mo th or two is normal for people in their 40s with a toddler.

I have been rejected so much that I essentially have given up initiating. So maybe he would complain that I don't initiate more, but honestly there's only so much rejection I can take.

What would he say if you expressed to him that it's not nearly enough for you and that you can't live the rest of your life on 6-10 fucks a year?

fixed

[Anonymous]

I find these sex threads interesting as a single person who last had sex in June and has no idea when I will have sex again. When I was married the only time I we did it less than three times a week was when one of us was sick and after I had surgery when we couldn't do it until the doctor cleared me. Otherwise I was up for it at any time, but I also knew that 95 percent of the time I was going to have multiple orgasms. We did it every day for a month once. That was really fun. But even with all of that, he cheated.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We definitely have sex less than once a month. Maybe 2-3x/year now. We have a toddler. DH says it's enough for him. His previous marriage was sexless for a year or two at a time for 15 years, so he says once every mo th or two is normal for people in their 40s with a toddler.

I have been rejected so much that I essentially have given up initiating. So maybe he would complain that I don't initiate more, but honestly there's only so much rejection I can take.

What would he say if you expressed to him that it's not nearly enough for you and that you can't live the rest of your life on 6-10 fucks a year?

fixed

He says that this is normal now and that when our child is over, we'll have more time and energy for sex. Basically he assures me it's temporary. I think maybe he even believes it, but my hope is eroding.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We definitely have sex less than once a month. Maybe 2-3x/year now. We have a toddler. DH says it's enough for him. His previous marriage was sexless for a year or two at a time for 15 years, so he says once every mo th or two is normal for people in their 40s with a toddler.

I have been rejected so much that I essentially have given up initiating. So maybe he would complain that I don't initiate more, but honestly there's only so much rejection I can take.

What would he say if you expressed to him that it's not nearly enough for you and that you can't live the rest of your life on 6-10 fucks a year?

fixed

He says that this is normal now and that when our child is over, we'll have more time and energy for sex. Basically he assures me it's temporary. I think maybe he even believes it, but my hope is eroding.

Sorry, autocorrect....when our child is OLDER, not over. (creepy)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I find these sex threads interesting as a single person who last had sex in June and has no idea when I will have sex again. When I was married the only time I we did it less than three times a week was when one of us was sick and after I had surgery when we couldn't do it until the doctor cleared me. Otherwise I was up for it at any time, but I also knew that 95 percent of the time I was going to have multiple orgasms. We did it every day for a month once. That was really fun. But even with all of that, he cheated.

Very interesting. I'm the PP above whose DH isn't very interested in sex. My last BF before him was extremely compatible with me sexually - usually every day, sometimes both morning and night, and I almost always had orgasms. (he was both interested in my pleasure and well endowed). But he cheated. He was actually a sec addict, but I didn't know that until I had discovered his cheating. He told me he was extremely happy with our sex life...the cheating was about escaping reality, numbing pain, etc. but he couldn't be trusted, fundamentally. So I guess I prefer my (presumably) faithful guy with no drive. But wow do I miss what it felt like to be so desired and pleasured and able to please.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I find these sex threads interesting as a single person who last had sex in June and has no idea when I will have sex again. When I was married the only time I we did it less than three times a week was when one of us was sick and after I had surgery when we couldn't do it until the doctor cleared me. Otherwise I was up for it at any time, but I also knew that 95 percent of the time I was going to have multiple orgasms. We did it every day for a month once. That was really fun. But even with all of that, he cheated.

For a man, different will almost always trump hot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I find these sex threads interesting as a single person who last had sex in June and has no idea when I will have sex again. When I was married the only time I we did it less than three times a week was when one of us was sick and after I had surgery when we couldn't do it until the doctor cleared me. Otherwise I was up for it at any time, but I also knew that 95 percent of the time I was going to have multiple orgasms. We did it every day for a month once. That was really fun. But even with all of that, he cheated.

Very interesting. I'm the PP above whose DH isn't very interested in sex. My last BF before him was extremely compatible with me sexually - usually every day, sometimes both morning and night, and I almost always had orgasms. (he was both interested in my pleasure and well endowed). But he cheated. He was actually a sec addict, but I didn't know that until I had discovered his cheating. He told me he was extremely happy with our sex life...the cheating was about escaping reality, numbing pain, etc. but he couldn't be trusted, fundamentally. So I guess I prefer my (presumably) faithful guy with no drive. But wow do I miss what it felt like to be so desired and pleasured and able to please.

Yes, he realized marriage was a bad fit for him. Like PP said, he needs "new" all of the time. But the other person I had really hot sex with ended up being a cheater, too. The worst sex was with the man most devoted to me, but he was an awful lover. Just awful. Didn't listen, refused to change anything he did even when I said I didn't enjoy it or it was painful or I liked this other thing and he didn't last long. Life is funny.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What I don't understand about husbands who don't want sex is that when I was single, I cared big time about getting laid and so did my friends. I would literally go at it with girlfriends any chance I could. Now I can understand if someone gains 50 lbs or their attitude sucks, but no way am I going to turn off having sex with my wife when in my earlier days I was so into it.

My husband knows I'm chronically horny and would do it every day, so he gets lazy because I never turn him down and initiate as often as I think he'll give it to me.

I can't even begin to comprehend what my life would be like if my DW never turned me down and SHE initiated as often as she thought I'd give it to her. Un-f'ing-believable.

+1. If my DW ever initiated, I would worship her.

Will never happen. Unless you are an alpha male and well endowed.