In all seriousness: What qualifies as a sexless marriage?

[Anonymous]

What qualifies as a sexless marriage? The numbers seem to be all over the place, with some posters claiming that once a week is "frigid" or "near sexless."

[Anonymous]

I think the answer does depend on the person. To some, if they don't have sex for a week, that's sexless. For others, once a month, and another, once a year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What qualifies as a sexless marriage? The numbers seem to be all over the place, with some posters claiming that once a week is "frigid" or "near sexless."

I think it's in the eye of the beholder. My dh and I are percutaneous content in our once a week sex marriage. Sometimes dcum makes me think we're weird frigid people lol. I rink it has to do with people's libido being met essentially and that's different for everyone.

[Anonymous]

We average 3x month and I don't think it's sexless but nothing to be proud of either.

[Anonymous]

Didn't some shrink declare 10x per year or fewer.

[Anonymous]

A sexless marriage means zero sex.

Whether the amount of sex you have is adequate is entirely dependent upon the person and the time. I went from being sex crazed in my 20s, wanting sex multiple times per day, to being satisfied with once per week (or even less) in my 40s. I'm totally fine not getting it very often. When I need more and my spouse isn't into it, I masturbate. We don't need to be on schedules, and we shouldn't be getting resentful of our spouses when they don't want it as often as we do.

[Anonymous]

I think if you can actually count the number of times you've had sex with your spouse in a year, you're in a sexless marriage. Because at that point it's happening so infrequently that it's not only easy to quantify, but each instance is memorable in its rarity.

[Anonymous]

There's also a difference between "husband wants his wife to dress in a schoolgirl uniform and call him daddy" and "husband wants his wife to do something other than just lie there and think of America." I think 1x a week of fairly passionate sex is a different beast than 1x a week of the wife just lying back and thinking of America.

[Anonymous]

What about the marriage in which the husband is so bad in bed that the wife never orgasms and has to satisfy him twice a week, then take care of business for herself?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What about the marriage in which the husband is so bad in bed that the wife never orgasms and has to satisfy him twice a week, then take care of business for herself?

Why would anyone marry someone who is so bad in bed?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think if you can actually count the number of times you've had sex with your spouse in a year, you're in a sexless marriage. Because at that point it's happening so infrequently that it's not only easy to quantify, but each instance is memorable in its rarity.

I agree with this.

FWIW we have sex about once a week. Late 30s, 2 very young kids. Like a pp said, it's not sexless, but nothing to be proud of, and DH would definitely like it to be more.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think if you can actually count the number of times you've had sex with your spouse in a year, you're in a sexless marriage. Because at that point it's happening so infrequently that it's not only easy to quantify, but each instance is memorable in its rarity.

I agree with this.

FWIW we have sex about once a week. Late 30s, 2 very young kids. Like a pp said, it's not sexless, but nothing to be proud of, and DH would definitely like it to be more.

+1 Same circumstances, mid-30s and two young kids (one who's a baby). DH would like a little more, I'm trying the best I can to be as into it as possible given that I'm tired and my hormones are pretty wonky. But each person's needs wax and wane, and I expect we'll get back to a point we're both good with (about twice a week was good for both of us pre-kids).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What about the marriage in which the husband is so bad in bed that the wife never orgasms and has to satisfy him twice a week, then take care of business for herself?

That is still sex. Start a new thread if you want to talk about something other than the topic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What about the marriage in which the husband is so bad in bed that the wife never orgasms and has to satisfy him twice a week, then take care of business for herself?

Why would anyone marry someone who is so bad in bed?

I don't know why, but I did. (NP)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What about the marriage in which the husband is so bad in bed that the wife never orgasms and has to satisfy him twice a week, then take care of business for herself?

Why would anyone marry someone who is so bad in bed?

I don't know why, but I did. (NP)

I'm sorry, that's got to be a really rough spot to be in (no snark, true sympathy). Hope things get better.