I don't respect my husband

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I find OP's post funny since 70K is coincidentally the threshold above which additional money does not seem to correlate with happiness. It seems like her husband is actually working quite smart.

Please. you have to be a real fool to have collected 2 degrees with honors and still manage to only make as much as an executive secretary.

That's what I mean. He's graduated from really well respected private schools. He was groomed to do so much more.

Well, he's wasted his time and money on a bunch of nonsense private schools. He probably has wealthy parents and doesn't know the meaning of working hard and getting ahead. That's what happens when life is handed to you.

what a turn off.

To clarify then, you are defining success completely in monetary terms. And he graduated with honors, yet doesn't know the meaning of hard work?

Honestly, you sound petty and jealous.

We are talking about monetary success and not bloviating on the transcendental.

Jealous? Of what exactly? The 70K salary? Or the distinguished degrees from Bucknell and Tulane?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I find OP's post funny since 70K is coincidentally the threshold above which additional money does not seem to correlate with happiness. It seems like her husband is actually working quite smart.

Please. you have to be a real fool to have collected 2 degrees with honors and still manage to only make as much as an executive secretary.

That's what I mean. He's graduated from really well respected private schools. He was groomed to do so much more.

But based on your own description of him, he's never been the grab life by the balls type, and this was evident in his courtship of you. So why are you surprised now? What did you think would happen?

Well I was young and naive. He talked the talk. Everything I was looking for:

A.good character
B.desire to get married and loved children
C.good relations with his family
D. Very erudite and well educated.
E. Talked of wanting to take care of his family


Etc.
Those talks I found out, aren't bs led up by action. He said he wanted to get married but waiting a long time to propose, etc.

So he has good intentions, he is just so slow and unmotivated to go get what he wants and muses about.

This is one reason it's wise to get married a little later rather than doing everything you can to 'land' a husband in your mid 20's- you'll have time to see more of how they turn out, if they do what they say they will do, if they realize some of that potential you're banking on.
I realize it's too late for you in this regard OP, but something other women should consider.

Please.

I met my DH in college at age 20. BS greduate from a Public school. He was focused and determinded. we purchased our first home at age 23. Being a provider has always been in his DNA. You absolutely can tell when a man is ambitious and acts on his goals. He has even had 3 total career changes in order to grow and learn more and become more valuable in the workforce.

It's hot. Those guys are hot. They can be spotted a mile away.

Good thing he's ambitious, because you can't spell to save your life. Greduate? Determinded?

I make as much as him, but alas, whrn typing on my phone I'm not so talented.

Next.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I find OP's post funny since 70K is coincidentally the threshold above which additional money does not seem to correlate with happiness. It seems like her husband is actually working quite smart.

Please. you have to be a real fool to have collected 2 degrees with honors and still manage to only make as much as an executive secretary.

That's what I mean. He's graduated from really well respected private schools. He was groomed to do so much more.

Well, he's wasted his time and money on a bunch of nonsense private schools. He probably has wealthy parents and doesn't know the meaning of working hard and getting ahead. That's what happens when life is handed to you.

what a turn off.

To clarify then, you are defining success completely in monetary terms. And he graduated with honors, yet doesn't know the meaning of hard work?

Honestly, you sound petty and jealous.

We are talking about monetary success and not bloviating on the transcendental.

Jealous? Of what exactly? The 70K salary? Or the distinguished degrees from Bucknell and Tulane?

Jealous of the fact that it's possible to have wealthy parents, work hard, and land in a job that's comfortable and family-friendly. Then again, if you have a wife like OP, there's probably not much to hurry home to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I find OP's post funny since 70K is coincidentally the threshold above which additional money does not seem to correlate with happiness. It seems like her husband is actually working quite smart.

Please. you have to be a real fool to have collected 2 degrees with honors and still manage to only make as much as an executive secretary.

That's what I mean. He's graduated from really well respected private schools. He was groomed to do so much more.

But based on your own description of him, he's never been the grab life by the balls type, and this was evident in his courtship of you. So why are you surprised now? What did you think would happen?

Well I was young and naive. He talked the talk. Everything I was looking for:

A.good character
B.desire to get married and loved children
C.good relations with his family
D. Very erudite and well educated.
E. Talked of wanting to take care of his family


Etc.
Those talks I found out, aren't bs led up by action. He said he wanted to get married but waiting a long time to propose, etc.

So he has good intentions, he is just so slow and unmotivated to go get what he wants and muses about.

This is one reason it's wise to get married a little later rather than doing everything you can to 'land' a husband in your mid 20's- you'll have time to see more of how they turn out, if they do what they say they will do, if they realize some of that potential you're banking on.
I realize it's too late for you in this regard OP, but something other women should consider.

Please.

I met my DH in college at age 20. BS greduate from a Public school. He was focused and determinded. we purchased our first home at age 23. Being a provider has always been in his DNA. You absolutely can tell when a man is ambitious and acts on his goals. He has even had 3 total career changes in order to grow and learn more and become more valuable in the workforce.

It's hot. Those guys are hot. They can be spotted a mile away.

Good thing he's ambitious, because you can't spell to save your life. Greduate? Determinded?

I make as much as him, but alas, whrn typing on my phone I'm not so talented.

Next.

Sure you do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I find OP's post funny since 70K is coincidentally the threshold above which additional money does not seem to correlate with happiness. It seems like her husband is actually working quite smart.

Please. you have to be a real fool to have collected 2 degrees with honors and still manage to only make as much as an executive secretary.

That's what I mean. He's graduated from really well respected private schools. He was groomed to do so much more.

Well, he's wasted his time and money on a bunch of nonsense private schools. He probably has wealthy parents and doesn't know the meaning of working hard and getting ahead. That's what happens when life is handed to you.

what a turn off.

To clarify then, you are defining success completely in monetary terms. And he graduated with honors, yet doesn't know the meaning of hard work?

Honestly, you sound petty and jealous.

We are talking about monetary success and not bloviating on the transcendental.

Jealous? Of what exactly? The 70K salary? Or the distinguished degrees from Bucknell and Tulane?

Jealous of the fact that it's possible to have wealthy parents, work hard, and land in a job that's comfortable and family-friendly. Then again, if you have a wife like OP, there's probably not much to hurry home to.

Guess what else is possiblr? work hard and land a job that pays 3xs what the OP makes and is family friendly. I'm not jealous of the OP'S DH. I'd be depressed if I had two expensive degrees and still hadn't managed to man up and bring home a good DC paycheck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I find OP's post funny since 70K is coincidentally the threshold above which additional money does not seem to correlate with happiness. It seems like her husband is actually working quite smart.

Please. you have to be a real fool to have collected 2 degrees with honors and still manage to only make as much as an executive secretary.

That's what I mean. He's graduated from really well respected private schools. He was groomed to do so much more.

But based on your own description of him, he's never been the grab life by the balls type, and this was evident in his courtship of you. So why are you surprised now? What did you think would happen?

Well I was young and naive. He talked the talk. Everything I was looking for:

A.good character
B.desire to get married and loved children
C.good relations with his family
D. Very erudite and well educated.
E. Talked of wanting to take care of his family


Etc.
Those talks I found out, aren't bs led up by action. He said he wanted to get married but waiting a long time to propose, etc.

So he has good intentions, he is just so slow and unmotivated to go get what he wants and muses about.

This is one reason it's wise to get married a little later rather than doing everything you can to 'land' a husband in your mid 20's- you'll have time to see more of how they turn out, if they do what they say they will do, if they realize some of that potential you're banking on.
I realize it's too late for you in this regard OP, but something other women should consider.

Please.

I met my DH in college at age 20. BS greduate from a Public school. He was focused and determinded. we purchased our first home at age 23. Being a provider has always been in his DNA. You absolutely can tell when a man is ambitious and acts on his goals. He has even had 3 total career changes in order to grow and learn more and become more valuable in the workforce.

It's hot. Those guys are hot. They can be spotted a mile away.

Good thing he's ambitious, because you can't spell to save your life. Greduate? Determinded?

I make as much as him, but alas, whrn typing on my phone I'm not so talented.

Next.

Sure you do.

is that all you've got?

Next.

[Anonymous]

If your husband's self-esteem is that low maybe your words are better spent on him, encouraging him and finding things you love and admire about him. No one's insecurity improves with a spouse who's either openly or secretly shaming him/her. Have you ever gone to a marriage conference or counseling?

FreeButterfly70

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I find OP's post funny since 70K is coincidentally the threshold above which additional money does not seem to correlate with happiness. It seems like her husband is actually working quite smart.

Please. you have to be a real fool to have collected 2 degrees with honors and still manage to only make as much as an executive secretary.

That's what I mean. He's graduated from really well respected private schools. He was groomed to do so much more.

Well, he's wasted his time and money on a bunch of nonsense private schools. He probably has wealthy parents and doesn't know the meaning of working hard and getting ahead. That's what happens when life is handed to you.

what a turn off.

To clarify then, you are defining success completely in monetary terms. And he graduated with honors, yet doesn't know the meaning of hard work?

Honestly, you sound petty and jealous.

We are talking about monetary success and not bloviating on the transcendental.

Jealous? Of what exactly? The 70K salary? Or the distinguished degrees from Bucknell and Tulane?

Jealous of the fact that it's possible to have wealthy parents, work hard, and land in a job that's comfortable and family-friendly. Then again, if you have a wife like OP, there's probably not much to hurry home to.

Guess what else is possiblr? work hard and land a job that pays 3xs what the OP makes and is family friendly. I'm not jealous of the OP'S DH. I'd be depressed if I had two expensive degrees and still hadn't managed to man up and bring home a good DC paycheck.

Cool story bro.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I find OP's post funny since 70K is coincidentally the threshold above which additional money does not seem to correlate with happiness. It seems like her husband is actually working quite smart.

Please. you have to be a real fool to have collected 2 degrees with honors and still manage to only make as much as an executive secretary.

That's what I mean. He's graduated from really well respected private schools. He was groomed to do so much more.

But based on your own description of him, he's never been the grab life by the balls type, and this was evident in his courtship of you. So why are you surprised now? What did you think would happen?

Well I was young and naive. He talked the talk. Everything I was looking for:

A.good character
B.desire to get married and loved children
C.good relations with his family
D. Very erudite and well educated.
E. Talked of wanting to take care of his family


Etc.
Those talks I found out, aren't bs led up by action. He said he wanted to get married but waiting a long time to propose, etc.

So he has good intentions, he is just so slow and unmotivated to go get what he wants and muses about.

This is one reason it's wise to get married a little later rather than doing everything you can to 'land' a husband in your mid 20's- you'll have time to see more of how they turn out, if they do what they say they will do, if they realize some of that potential you're banking on.
I realize it's too late for you in this regard OP, but something other women should consider.

Please.

I met my DH in college at age 20. BS greduate from a Public school. He was focused and determinded. we purchased our first home at age 23. Being a provider has always been in his DNA. You absolutely can tell when a man is ambitious and acts on his goals. He has even had 3 total career changes in order to grow and learn more and become more valuable in the workforce.

It's hot. Those guys are hot. They can be spotted a mile away.

It's unreal that you don't seem to realize that luck played a huge role in your husband panning out to be who you thought he'd be. If you want to think your 20 year old self was just that astute (and psychic) fine, but no one believes you.

[Anonymous]

Wait a minute.....Did OP say she makes $40k...come again now?

Really? You are a piece of work OP. You basically make half of your DH and are complaning? Bahahaha!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I find OP's post funny since 70K is coincidentally the threshold above which additional money does not seem to correlate with happiness. It seems like her husband is actually working quite smart.

Please. you have to be a real fool to have collected 2 degrees with honors and still manage to only make as much as an executive secretary.

Seriously fuck right off. I have two degrees, one magna cum laude, the other summa cum laude, and I was Phi Beta Kappa. I work in a field that doesn't pay well, so I make about that much after 20 years working (10 in a different field). Is it not possible for you to imagine that not every field pays lucratively, and yet that work may have value to the world?

FWIW, I also have ADD. Academic life is FAR easier to manage than adult life in general, so I've always been more successful at formal learning than less structured endeavors.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I know that to have what I want in life we needed to have a much higher HHI level than what my husband alone could provide due to his field, personality and interests. To rectify that problem I left government and found a much higher paying job in the private sector. Problem solved.

You can only control your own actions so if you want a better/bigger house get a higher paying job. Your current path of complaining is not going to get you what you want.

I understand that. I'm currently thinking of ways to exit my dead end non profit job.

Seriously, you're mad at your husband but you have chosen a non-profit job for yourself?

Please divorce him and let some decent woman marry what sounds like a really good guy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I find OP's post funny since 70K is coincidentally the threshold above which additional money does not seem to correlate with happiness. It seems like her husband is actually working quite smart.

Please. you have to be a real fool to have collected 2 degrees with honors and still manage to only make as much as an executive secretary.

That's what I mean. He's graduated from really well respected private schools. He was groomed to do so much more.

But based on your own description of him, he's never been the grab life by the balls type, and this was evident in his courtship of you. So why are you surprised now? What did you think would happen?

Well I was young and naive. He talked the talk. Everything I was looking for:

A.good character
B.desire to get married and loved children
C.good relations with his family
D. Very erudite and well educated.
E. Talked of wanting to take care of his family


Etc.
Those talks I found out, aren't bs led up by action. He said he wanted to get married but waiting a long time to propose, etc.

So he has good intentions, he is just so slow and unmotivated to go get what he wants and muses about.

This is one reason it's wise to get married a little later rather than doing everything you can to 'land' a husband in your mid 20's- you'll have time to see more of how they turn out, if they do what they say they will do, if they realize some of that potential you're banking on.
I realize it's too late for you in this regard OP, but something other women should consider.

Please.

I met my DH in college at age 20. BS greduate from a Public school. He was focused and determinded. we purchased our first home at age 23. Being a provider has always been in his DNA. You absolutely can tell when a man is ambitious and acts on his goals. He has even had 3 total career changes in order to grow and learn more and become more valuable in the workforce.

It's hot. Those guys are hot. They can be spotted a mile away.

It's unreal that you don't seem to realize that luck played a huge role in your husband panning out to be who you thought he'd be. If you want to think your 20 year old self was just that astute (and psychic) fine, but no one believes you.

Some of us find drive and ambition attractive. Even at 20, I dated confident men who knew what they wanted.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I find OP's post funny since 70K is coincidentally the threshold above which additional money does not seem to correlate with happiness. It seems like her husband is actually working quite smart.

Please. you have to be a real fool to have collected 2 degrees with honors and still manage to only make as much as an executive secretary.

That's what I mean. He's graduated from really well respected private schools. He was groomed to do so much more.

But based on your own description of him, he's never been the grab life by the balls type, and this was evident in his courtship of you. So why are you surprised now? What did you think would happen?

Well I was young and naive. He talked the talk. Everything I was looking for:

A.good character
B.desire to get married and loved children
C.good relations with his family
D. Very erudite and well educated.
E. Talked of wanting to take care of his family


Etc.
Those talks I found out, aren't bs led up by action. He said he wanted to get married but waiting a long time to propose, etc.

So he has good intentions, he is just so slow and unmotivated to go get what he wants and muses about.

This is one reason it's wise to get married a little later rather than doing everything you can to 'land' a husband in your mid 20's- you'll have time to see more of how they turn out, if they do what they say they will do, if they realize some of that potential you're banking on.
I realize it's too late for you in this regard OP, but something other women should consider.

Please.

I met my DH in college at age 20. BS greduate from a Public school. He was focused and determinded. we purchased our first home at age 23. Being a provider has always been in his DNA. You absolutely can tell when a man is ambitious and acts on his goals. He has even had 3 total career changes in order to grow and learn more and become more valuable in the workforce.

It's hot. Those guys are hot. They can be spotted a mile away.

It's unreal that you don't seem to realize that luck played a huge role in your husband panning out to be who you thought he'd be. If you want to think your 20 year old self was just that astute (and psychic) fine, but no one believes you.

Some of us find drive and ambition attractive. Even at 20, I dated confident men who knew what they wanted.

Yes. They wanted to sleep with a 20 year old. There's a yin to every yang and "confident" men may not be all they're cracked up to be, either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I find OP's post funny since 70K is coincidentally the threshold above which additional money does not seem to correlate with happiness. It seems like her husband is actually working quite smart.

Please. you have to be a real fool to have collected 2 degrees with honors and still manage to only make as much as an executive secretary.

That's what I mean. He's graduated from really well respected private schools. He was groomed to do so much more.

But based on your own description of him, he's never been the grab life by the balls type, and this was evident in his courtship of you. So why are you surprised now? What did you think would happen?

Well I was young and naive. He talked the talk. Everything I was looking for:

A.good character
B.desire to get married and loved children
C.good relations with his family
D. Very erudite and well educated.
E. Talked of wanting to take care of his family


Etc.
Those talks I found out, aren't bs led up by action. He said he wanted to get married but waiting a long time to propose, etc.

So he has good intentions, he is just so slow and unmotivated to go get what he wants and muses about.

This is one reason it's wise to get married a little later rather than doing everything you can to 'land' a husband in your mid 20's- you'll have time to see more of how they turn out, if they do what they say they will do, if they realize some of that potential you're banking on.
I realize it's too late for you in this regard OP, but something other women should consider.

Please.

I met my DH in college at age 20. BS greduate from a Public school. He was focused and determinded. we purchased our first home at age 23. Being a provider has always been in his DNA. You absolutely can tell when a man is ambitious and acts on his goals. He has even had 3 total career changes in order to grow and learn more and become more valuable in the workforce.

It's hot. Those guys are hot. They can be spotted a mile away.

It's unreal that you don't seem to realize that luck played a huge role in your husband panning out to be who you thought he'd be. If you want to think your 20 year old self was just that astute (and psychic) fine, but no one believes you.

Some of us find drive and ambition attractive. Even at 20, I dated confident men who knew what they wanted.

Yes. They wanted to sleep with a 20 year old. There's a yin to every yang and "confident" men may not be all they're cracked up to be, either.

Yup. When we were 20 we had a lot of sex. At 40 we still have a lot of sex.