Mother in law is not very nice to me...

[Anonymous]

I don't know if she is scary or crazy, but I do know she is MEAN. It doesn't seem like she ever posts anything nice or supportive. Her motto seems to be, "If you have something nice to say, keep quiet. If you can think of something ugly to say, say it and then come back and say it again and again and again."

[Anonymous]

Scary RN lady, how dare you talk about my special needs child as if she were some sort of punishment to be inflicted on the infertile -- some sort of cross they have to bear because they have committed the crime that they can't have "real children" of their own. Get a life and stop torturing people. This nice OP can have as many infertility treatments as she wants as far as this mother of a special needs child is concerned -- she doesn't owe it to my daughter or any other special needs child to adopt a kid with special needs. This isn't some sort of cosmic karma game show, you know, with you as the moral game show host. Now crawl back in your hole and leave the rest of us to our little worries, since you are obviously above all this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The PP who questioned me about my life was. I answered that poster.
I never said that women who put themselves in Artificial Reproduction situation are criminals...
they have the right to choose, I have the right to say what I think about it.

Was it not you who berated women for going through IVF and not adopting the poor starving world babies?

Seems each time you post you add a new credential to your repertuar. College degrees, RN, mulitple languages, nanny, world experience, what am I missing. You seem to have a career that fits every post.

LOL -- she is also a black woman with pale, red-headed children! (adopted, obv)!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:Please ignore all of the nasty postings, OP. For a lucky few, MILs are wonderful but for the rest of us they are a total pain. It has nothing to do with your education, finances, etc. You're not alone. There is nothing you can do to change it.

pp and the other pps who are so positive and understanding, i really do appreciate it. i almost gave up on the chat. the troll is definitely bitter. with triplets (yes triplets , i have little time for caps or spell check. you guys are wonderful. i feel so much better and blessed. thank you again.

your MIL was right... YOU'RE SO SELFISH!!

instead of adopting 3 children who are already out there, in need of our help you decided to put 3 more in the world.
just simply only and exclusively because you wanted to... what a very nice excuse go fulfill your ego!!!

you give away stuff thinking you can buy people's feelings...

That woman is so right!

Your MIL rocks!

ps. and I'm sorry for your husband... caught in the middle of this mess.

OP here: wow, you really need help. really this aggression is uncalled for.

Aggression?
Just because we have different points of view and I'm not ashamed of expressing mine I need help?

The starving children all around us need help. And you denied it to them.

How many kids have you adopted? THis is really awful. I'm going to copy and paste this in the TTC portion. Boy, you'll have tons of fans.

Paste it wherever you want...
They have the right to try to conceive using eggs from a horse, I don't care!!!
Don't forget that I have the right to express my opinion too.

That's why I don't go there. Let them go through such a painful and stressful procedure...
I'll keep my opinion.

My personal life is not your business... but just to kill your curiosity...
my mother was adopted
I was adopted
I have 3 cousins who were adopted.
one of them married an idiot who could not have children - after 5 unsuccessful IVFs she finally decided to adopt. (she's not an idiot because she could not conceive. she's an idiot because she waited for the 5th miscarriage to give up)
I can't wait to finalize the adoption of my 3rd child.
by the way, I cannot conceive.

Have a good one you too.

I'm SURE you were adopted and I'm SURE you are in the process of adoption, RIGHT .

Do you have some sort of Gypsy Romanian background?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The PP who questioned me about my life was. I answered that poster.
I never said that women who put themselves in Artificial Reproduction situation are criminals...
they have the right to choose, I have the right to say what I think about it.

Was it not you who berated women for going through IVF and not adopting the poor starving world babies?

Seems each time you post you add a new credential to your repertuar. College degrees, RN, multiple languages, nanny, world experience, what am I missing. You seem to have a career that fits every post.

Some people just have the gift of TRYING and LEARNING.
Some just prefer to be stuck with the decisions and paths they took once long time ago.

You'd be amazed if I told you my age...

8)

If you the same troll that posts everywhere else you have told us you are 28. And even your mom learned English late. Yay!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Please ignore all of the nasty postings, OP. For a lucky few, MILs are wonderful but for the rest of us they are a total pain. It has nothing to do with your education, finances, etc. You're not alone. There is nothing you can do to change it.

pp and the other pps who are so positive and understanding, i really do appreciate it. i almost gave up on the chat. the troll is definitely bitter. with triplets (yes triplets , i have little time for caps or spell check. you guys are wonderful. i feel so much better and blessed. thank you again.

your MIL was right... YOU'RE SO SELFISH!!

instead of adopting 3 children who are already out there, in need of our help you decided to put 3 more in the world.
just simply only and exclusively because you wanted to... what a very nice excuse go fulfill your ego!!!

you give away stuff thinking you can buy people's feelings...

That woman is so right!

Your MIL rocks!

ps. and I'm sorry for your husband... caught in the middle of this mess.

OP here: wow, you really need help. really this aggression is uncalled for.

Aggression?
Just because we have different points of view and I'm not ashamed of expressing mine I need help?

The starving children all around us need help. And you denied it to them.

You really are not that well versed in the adoption process and saving of starving children. In MANY of these counties, their LAWS prohibit the adoption of children outside of their country. There are very few countries that allow for international adoption. The countries that do have "easy" adoptions such as India are very often found to actually be selling the children and in many many cases are "adopting" out stolen children. It is a huge problem right now.

Secondly, many parents do not have the funds to adopt a child, domestically or internationally, it can often cost over 30-40K to adopt a child through a private adoption agency. IVF is cheaper and often is MUCH cheaper with insurance and "shared risk" programs. There is no shared risk in adoption, you have to invest THOUSANDS in lawyers and can still end up without child.

Lastly, as a foster mom, I am an expert in navigating CPS and the foster program in Virginia. There are NOT ODDLES OF BABIES OUT THERE waiting for "forever homes" No matter what color they are, there simply are very very few babies who have been taken away from their parents. There are dozens and dozens of parents in line wanting the handful of babies. You can be a foster parent for a lifetime and never have the opportunity to adopt an infant. Even after they are removed from the home, usually now as toddlers or older after much abuse they now sit in limbo in the system for years. So yes, people can take emotionally disturbed and physically handicapped kids, but not everone wants to take on that responsiblity and not everyone is equipped to handle this.

An unfortunate by-product of abortion is that there really is a huge baby shortage. I'm not sure if you think starving adoptable babies grow on trees, but they don't at least not around here. We can't all just waltz into the Congo and rip a suckling newborn off the breast of his mother.

Since you seem to be such as expert in saving the world, why don't you check out all of the unwanted starving babies here in Virgina ripe for the picking:

http://www.adoptuskids.org/states/va/

I just did a search for starving babies and I guess none are availble in Virginia today, check back tomorrow when a fresh shipment comes in.

There is however, one born 26 weeks early with severe disabilities (cerebal palsy) that will require a lifeline of care. Hurry up and get certified, as you have to be certified as a "theraputic family".

this has got to be the same troll who posted on the avon thread, the banker from the west coast...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Scary RN lady, how dare you talk about my special needs child as if she were some sort of punishment to be inflicted on the infertile -- some sort of cross they have to bear because they have committed the crime that they can't have "real children" of their own. Get a life and stop torturing people. This nice OP can have as many infertility treatments as she wants as far as this mother of a special needs child is concerned -- she doesn't owe it to my daughter or any other special needs child to adopt a kid with special needs. This isn't some sort of cosmic karma game show, you know, with you as the moral game show host. Now crawl back in your hole and leave the rest of us to our little worries, since you are obviously above all this.

AMEN! Jeff, this is four-person-office. I know I said I was anti-outing, but maybe I should change my mind if it means we can find out the posting locale of the hateful troll this post refers to. Or at least, can you let us know if the posts are coming from a mental institution? LOL. People need to stop feeding her but it's hard to resist. Something tells me it's a way old MIL who just stumbled upon this forum. She hates her son's daughters and people in general. The sentiment, something tells me, is readily returned! Either that or it's a miserable person who comes here to expose her ugly soul to the world. If she said any of these things in "real life," she'd get her face slapped off her head on a daily basis.

[Anonymous]

OP, ignore all the negativity floating around here. You managed to wake up some monsters

Most of the people I know are not liked by their MILs, me included. Guess it comes with the title, and with getting so close to someone who is a member of a different family, traditions, generation, life.... Like others said: set boundaries. I think you're being too nice by lending money and giving stuff - no need for that. Now that you're going to have kids of your own (it was your post that you're pregnant, right?), save everything for them.

There is no need to open the subject with your husband about how is mother doesn't like you, and how mean she is, etc... you are just putting him in a stupid situation where he has to take sides - and it is very difficult to take sides between mother and wife. If there is some specific thing that she did or say, you could mention it and say that it hurt, and that's it. Neither you nor him will change her. Also, most men are not tuned well into the thorns that women throw at each other.

If you are not comfortable going there - just don't go there. Limit it to the bare minimum. Your husband can go and visit as much as he likes, there is nothing that forces you to do the same. Focus on your own family, on your own kids... Good luck with your pregnancy.

[Anonymous]

Honestly, I had the patience to read this entire thread and I cannot see what's the problem with you all women in here.

This poor woman (I guess she's a mother in law herself) has the legal right to say whatever she wants.
And we all have the right to answer back (obviously)...

Why everybody in this forum is so rude when someone express an opinion that diverges from the crowd?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PP, I have no idea what point you are trying to make.

OP here. Thanks PP. You rock. I'm signing off now. Troll, you can have your fun. I'm not feeding you...

woooow hold on a minute, I am the PP who was actually trying to be sympathetic with you, given that I am not close to my MIL either, I am NOT the troll you all are talking about.

My point was that my bottom line was that OP is NOT alone and that there are many other women out there who do not get along with their MIL, regardless of their social status, financial status, cultural status, or whatever you may come up with. The following line about PP potentially being a selfish person was merely meant to say that it doesn't always matter whether someone is actually in the wrong or whether there is more to the story. My bottom line was not inclusive of potential circumstances or characteristics of a daughter-in-law, I just know that many women simply never warmed up to their MILs.

Seriously, do not get me confused with that troll. A simple "I am not sure I get what you are saying" is sufficient. I am a foreigner, too, but don't throw us all in the same basket.

And there it goes... just when you thought you were actually productive, you get killed by troll-hunters.

[Anonymous]

PP=OP.

see, you're getting me all paranoid. I am proofreading a post that was written anonymously. *sigh*