Mother in law is not very nice to me...

[Anonymous]

geez, girls, get a hold of yourselves.

Bottom line is this OP: there are many many women who do not get along with their MILs. I think it is often a mix of rivalry and generational conflicts. I tolerate my MILs but we certainly aren't close.

I think you need to let go of comparing your life to hers, though. Sure, those may all be factors for her not liking you, but chances are she wouldn't have liked you regardless of whether you have 2 degrees or not.

I, too, am a big believer in family, and it stung when I realized that my MIL and I would never be all that close, especially since my family lives far away. But in the end, I respect her and take what I can get. And when she get snarky with me, I just ignore it if it is minor or openly address it, it is major. You cannot force her to like you.

[Anonymous]

Okay all you sour posters. Your attitude discredits your opinions and feedback.

[Anonymous]

I'm going to repeat what some of the pp's have said and what has taken me a long time to figure out -- your MIL will NOT change. Do the best you can to avoid her, ignore her and deflect her negativity. I would stop bending over backwards to try and please her/win her affection/etc. because it will not change at all how she feels about you. You are not alone ... my MIL is a self-absorbed bitter and jealous lady who I have learned to tolerate, be kind to but not go overboard and to avoid but still let her have time with her son (who she worships) and her grandkids. It's not ideal but it works for us!

[Anonymous]

Hi OP. I have a question for you. Please really think about this. Do you LIKE your mother-in-law? Would you want to please her or be friends with her if you were not married to her son? Does she have attributes you would admire and look for in a friend? If not, then just stop trying to please her. When she says something passive-agressive or rude, just look at her silently and then either walk away or comment on the weather.

I have a nasty MIL who I know is jealous of me and makes passive agressive comments to try and put me down and I just ignor her. Yes, it bugs me but, quite frankly I do not like her and I do not respect her so really, does it matter what she thinks of me? I can not change the way she acts but I can change my response to it. Many years ago my husband told her that I come first in his life, and our children would too once we had them, and that was as it should be. He told her that if she pushed him in a corner he would choose me. That ended the outright attacks and she is careful now to appear to be kind to me if only in front of him. She did lose it once and actually physically attacked me and then tried to blame it on me. Thank God a stranger saw the episode and told my husband what happened. It was a horrible experience that I will never forget. Sometimes I think she is really crazy/psychotic. Quite frankly, I do not care. I do not care about her and I do not care AT ALL what she thinks of me. I am polite and kind but that is as far as I go. She is not a good grandmother and my children see her for what she is even at their tender ages. She is a very unhappy person and has had some really bad things happen to her recently. I just smile and think "Karma" but never say it out loud...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Please ignore all of the nasty postings, OP. For a lucky few, MILs are wonderful but for the rest of us they are a total pain. It has nothing to do with your education, finances, etc. You're not alone. There is nothing you can do to change it.

pp and the other pps who are so positive and understanding, i really do appreciate it. i almost gave up on the chat. the troll is definitely bitter. with triplets (yes triplets , i have little time for caps or spell check. you guys are wonderful. i feel so much better and blessed. thank you again.

your MIL was right... YOU'RE SO SELFISH!!

instead of adopting 3 children who are already out there, in need of our help you decided to put 3 more in the world.
just simply only and exclusively because you wanted to... what a very nice excuse go fulfill your ego!!!

you give away stuff thinking you can buy people's feelings...

That woman is so right!

Your MIL rocks!

ps. and I'm sorry for your husband... caught in the middle of this mess.

OP here: wow, you really need help. really this aggression is uncalled for.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:where are your 2 degrees from?
because your English makes me wonder...

I don't like women who go through artificial reproduction either but I don't hate them. I just feel pity...

the fact that you're trying to buy her also makes me wonder...
do you really think that just because you're rich and you can give cars, vacation and computers to people they have to like you?

i'm not rich, just middle class.

you give money away, computers, overseas vacations, cars and now you're saying you're not rich?

please, decide.

anyway... forget the word rich and read the rest of what I wrote...

actually, i don't feel i need to justify my degrees with YOU or respond to your feelings of pity. Good day. Next.

OP, could you at least use caps when starting new sentences? Please? If you have two degrees attempting to write a proper sentence should not be too hard. I could probably see your point of view if I believed what you were saying, but given how your grammar skills are showing I think there is more to this than you are letting on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:where are your 2 degrees from?
because your English makes me wonder...

I don't like women who go through artificial reproduction either but I don't hate them. I just feel pity...

the fact that you're trying to buy her also makes me wonder...
do you really think that just because you're rich and you can give cars, vacation and computers to people they have to like you?

i'm not rich, just middle class.

you give money away, computers, overseas vacations, cars and now you're saying you're not rich?

please, decide.

anyway... forget the word rich and read the rest of what I wrote...

actually, i don't feel i need to justify my degrees with YOU or respond to your feelings of pity. Good day. Next.

OP, could you at least use caps when starting new sentences? Please? If you have two degrees attempting to write a proper sentence should not be too hard. I could probably see your point of view if I believed what you were saying, but given how your grammar skills are showing I think there is more to this than you are letting on.

pp here. please get a life! i'm going to stop capitalizing. this is ridiculous. just in case you attach me like the op, i speak 3 languages and have a masters from a top 5 graduate program. geesh!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Please ignore all of the nasty postings, OP. For a lucky few, MILs are wonderful but for the rest of us they are a total pain. It has nothing to do with your education, finances, etc. You're not alone. There is nothing you can do to change it.

pp and the other pps who are so positive and understanding, i really do appreciate it. i almost gave up on the chat. the troll is definitely bitter. with triplets (yes triplets , i have little time for caps or spell check. you guys are wonderful. i feel so much better and blessed. thank you again.

your MIL was right... YOU'RE SO SELFISH!!

instead of adopting 3 children who are already out there, in need of our help you decided to put 3 more in the world.
just simply only and exclusively because you wanted to... what a very nice excuse go fulfill your ego!!!

you give away stuff thinking you can buy people's feelings...

That woman is so right!

Your MIL rocks!

ps. and I'm sorry for your husband... caught in the middle of this mess.

OP here: wow, you really need help. really this aggression is uncalled for.

I agree. This is ridiculous. There's just an ugly troll out here who probably can't get a life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:geez, girls, get a hold of yourselves.

Bottom line is this OP: there are many many women who do not get along with their MILs. I think it is often a mix of rivalry and generational conflicts. I tolerate my MILs but we certainly aren't close.

I think you need to let go of comparing your life to hers, though. Sure, those may all be factors for her not liking you, but chances are she wouldn't have liked you regardless of whether you have 2 degrees or not.

I, too, am a big believer in family, and it stung when I realized that my MIL and I would never be all that close, especially since my family lives far away. But in the end, I respect her and take what I can get. And when she get snarky with me, I just ignore it if it is minor or openly address it, it is major. You cannot force her to like you.

Bottom line is this is an anonymous forum and we have no idea what OP is leaving out or her MIL's side of the story. I am sure the stories meet in the middle somewhere but do you really believe there is no more to this than we are hearing?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:where are your 2 degrees from?
because your English makes me wonder...

I don't like women who go through artificial reproduction either but I don't hate them. I just feel pity...

the fact that you're trying to buy her also makes me wonder...
do you really think that just because you're rich and you can give cars, vacation and computers to people they have to like you?

i'm not rich, just middle class.

you give money away, computers, overseas vacations, cars and now you're saying you're not rich?

please, decide.

anyway... forget the word rich and read the rest of what I wrote...

actually, i don't feel i need to justify my degrees with YOU or respond to your feelings of pity. Good day. Next.

OP, could you at least use caps when starting new sentences? Please? If you have two degrees attempting to write a proper sentence should not be too hard. I could probably see your point of view if I believed what you were saying, but given how your grammar skills are showing I think there is more to this than you are letting on.

pp here. please get a life! i'm going to stop capitalizing. this is ridiculous. just in case you attach me like the op, i speak 3 languages and have a masters from a top 5 graduate program. geesh!

Wow PP. Your knowledge radiates through.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Please ignore all of the nasty postings, OP. For a lucky few, MILs are wonderful but for the rest of us they are a total pain. It has nothing to do with your education, finances, etc. You're not alone. There is nothing you can do to change it.

pp and the other pps who are so positive and understanding, i really do appreciate it. i almost gave up on the chat. the troll is definitely bitter. with triplets (yes triplets , i have little time for caps or spell check. you guys are wonderful. i feel so much better and blessed. thank you again.

your MIL was right... YOU'RE SO SELFISH!!

instead of adopting 3 children who are already out there, in need of our help you decided to put 3 more in the world.
just simply only and exclusively because you wanted to... what a very nice excuse go fulfill your ego!!!

you give away stuff thinking you can buy people's feelings...

That woman is so right!

Your MIL rocks!

ps. and I'm sorry for your husband... caught in the middle of this mess.

OP here: wow, you really need help. really this aggression is uncalled for.

Aggression?
Just because we have different points of view and I'm not ashamed of expressing mine I need help?

The starving children all around us need help. And you denied it to them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:where are your 2 degrees from?
because your English makes me wonder...

I don't like women who go through artificial reproduction either but I don't hate them. I just feel pity...

the fact that you're trying to buy her also makes me wonder...
do you really think that just because you're rich and you can give cars, vacation and computers to people they have to like you?

i'm not rich, just middle class.

you give money away, computers, overseas vacations, cars and now you're saying you're not rich?

please, decide.

anyway... forget the word rich and read the rest of what I wrote...

actually, i don't feel i need to justify my degrees with YOU or respond to your feelings of pity. Good day. Next.

OP, could you at least use caps when starting new sentences? Please? If you have two degrees attempting to write a proper sentence should not be too hard. I could probably see your point of view if I believed what you were saying, but given how your grammar skills are showing I think there is more to this than you are letting on.

pp here. please get a life! i'm going to stop capitalizing. this is ridiculous. just in case you attach me like the op, i speak 3 languages and have a masters from a top 5 graduate program. geesh!

Wow PP. Your knowledge radiates through.

ww, pp...

it's GOSH

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:geez, girls, get a hold of yourselves.

Bottom line is this OP: there are many many women who do not get along with their MILs. I think it is often a mix of rivalry and generational conflicts. I tolerate my MILs but we certainly aren't close.

I think you need to let go of comparing your life to hers, though. Sure, those may all be factors for her not liking you, but chances are she wouldn't have liked you regardless of whether you have 2 degrees or not.

I, too, am a big believer in family, and it stung when I realized that my MIL and I would never be all that close, especially since my family lives far away. But in the end, I respect her and take what I can get. And when she get snarky with me, I just ignore it if it is minor or openly address it, it is major. You cannot force her to like you.

Bottom line is this is an anonymous forum and we have no idea what OP is leaving out or her MIL's side of the story. I am sure the stories meet in the middle somewhere but do you really believe there is no more to this than we are hearing?

of course there is more to it. But that doesn't eliminate my bottom line, does it? Have you read how many women don't get a long with their MILs? The reasons may differ, but the bottom line stays the same.

OP may very well be a selfish woman full of herself, and her MIL may be a sweet and caring woman, but either way they don't get along.

[Anonymous]

PP, I have no idea what point you are trying to make.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Please ignore all of the nasty postings, OP. For a lucky few, MILs are wonderful but for the rest of us they are a total pain. It has nothing to do with your education, finances, etc. You're not alone. There is nothing you can do to change it.

pp and the other pps who are so positive and understanding, i really do appreciate it. i almost gave up on the chat. the troll is definitely bitter. with triplets (yes triplets , i have little time for caps or spell check. you guys are wonderful. i feel so much better and blessed. thank you again.

your MIL was right... YOU'RE SO SELFISH!!

instead of adopting 3 children who are already out there, in need of our help you decided to put 3 more in the world.
just simply only and exclusively because you wanted to... what a very nice excuse go fulfill your ego!!!

you give away stuff thinking you can buy people's feelings...

That woman is so right!

Your MIL rocks!

ps. and I'm sorry for your husband... caught in the middle of this mess.

OP here: wow, you really need help. really this aggression is uncalled for.

Aggression?
Just because we have different points of view and I'm not ashamed of expressing mine I need help?

The starving children all around us need help. And you denied it to them.

How many kids have you adopted? THis is really awful. I'm going to copy and paste this in the TTC portion. Boy, you'll have tons of fans.