Help us find the impossible: a dog that satisfies this insane list of criteria!

[Anonymous]

Take a look at the craigslist pet section. We recently found a dog who's owner had passed away and the family was trying to re-home him. He is very sweet and veryy well trained trained. One thing about going through craigslist is many of the dogs are coming right out of loving homes, so they are less likely to have behavioral issues like dogs coming from a pound. It's a little hit and miss trying to find one that is up to date on vet visits, but there are a lot of great dogs on there. My sister also got her dog off of craigslist, the owner had lost her job and was having trouble affording proper care for the dog and so decided to re-home him. The dog was 4 years old and perfectly trained. Just remember to always meet in public places like parks, make sure they have the vet records, make sure you take the time to actually get to know the dog before taking him, and finally ask if they would be willing to take the dog back if it doesn't work out.

[Anonymous]

Retired racing greyhounds fit your description well, except that they are big.

[Anonymous]

Pug. Midatlanticpugrescue.org

[Anonymous]

Another vote for rescue greyhound!!! Seriously, they are awesome and satisfy most of your criteria.

I currently have a brittany - beagle/pointer mix that fits your description. You can find a mutt from a rescue group that might work, but you'll have to do some serious searching.

Whatever you do, DO NOT get a puppy. I adopted my current dog when he was about 1 year old. Best thing I ever did!

[Anonymous]

My previous dog met all those, and she was a rescue mutt. Probably a mix of border collie and hound.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: Are your kids good with dogs? Do they know not to approach the dog, to let it seek out attention? Do they know to leave it alone when it goes to it's safe spot (crate/bed)?

Um, no. They are kids. If they did, I would not need a dog that is good with kids.

O.k. if you get a dog you do understand that you will have to supervise your children with the dog at all times, right? You'll need to make sure that your children are playing with the dog nicely and that the dog is playing with your children nicely. Be consistent and they will all eventually get it.

Pp, not OP. I have had dogs that are amazing with kids. And there are dogs that are not good with kids. And particular breeds tend to be more tolerant. Which is why "good with kids" is an incredibly common criteria for dog seekers. Which is why certain breed rescue groups advertise that they will not even consider placing a fog with z family with young kids.

Actually, all the breed rescue groups I've volunteered for have specified no small children because they are afraid for the safety of the dog. Majority of small dog groups say, "No young children" because a kid who trips over a papillon could snap it in half, vs. a sturdier dog. Of course, a dog in pain/threatened is far more likely to snap at a child, so it would follow that it is for the safety of the child too--but honestly, first and foremost the thought process is about the dog.

Please do not get a dog if you do not intend to train your children how to properly interact with it. The youtube videos of kids crawling over their "good with kids" lab are horrifying to anyone who knows dog body language and stress signals. Those dogs are NOT happy with what's going on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: Are your kids good with dogs? Do they know not to approach the dog, to let it seek out attention? Do they know to leave it alone when it goes to it's safe spot (crate/bed)?

Um, no. They are kids. If they did, I would not need a dog that is good with kids.

O.k. if you get a dog you do understand that you will have to supervise your children with the dog at all times, right? You'll need to make sure that your children are playing with the dog nicely and that the dog is playing with your children nicely. Be consistent and they will all eventually get it.

Pp, not OP. I have had dogs that are amazing with kids. And there are dogs that are not good with kids. And particular breeds tend to be more tolerant. Which is why "good with kids" is an incredibly common criteria for dog seekers. Which is why certain breed rescue groups advertise that they will not even consider placing a fog with z family with young kids.

Actually, all the breed rescue groups I've volunteered for have specified no small children because they are afraid for the safety of the dog. Majority of small dog groups say, "No young children" because a kid who trips over a papillon could snap it in half, vs. a sturdier dog. Of course, a dog in pain/threatened is far more likely to snap at a child, so it would follow that it is for the safety of the child too--but honestly, first and foremost the thought process is about the dog.

Please do not get a dog if you do not intend to train your children how to properly interact with it. The youtube videos of kids crawling over their "good with kids" lab are horrifying to anyone who knows dog body language and stress signals. Those dogs are NOT happy with what's going on.

Some/most of them are very happy to be with their families. Others are tolerant and put up with it, not much different than adult human family members.

I agree that particular dogs may or may not be good with kids and that some breeds are generally better with kids. The breeds that I personally know of as being generally good with kids are large or extra large size dogs, although I'm not as familiar with small breeds so I can't speak to those one way or another. I also agree that rescues are anti-family and anti-kid, generally.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: Are your kids good with dogs? Do they know not to approach the dog, to let it seek out attention? Do they know to leave it alone when it goes to it's safe spot (crate/bed)?

Um, no. They are kids. If they did, I would not need a dog that is good with kids.

O.k. if you get a dog you do understand that you will have to supervise your children with the dog at all times, right? You'll need to make sure that your children are playing with the dog nicely and that the dog is playing with your children nicely. Be consistent and they will all eventually get it.

Pp, not OP. I have had dogs that are amazing with kids. And there are dogs that are not good with kids. And particular breeds tend to be more tolerant. Which is why "good with kids" is an incredibly common criteria for dog seekers. Which is why certain breed rescue groups advertise that they will not even consider placing a fog with z family with young kids.

Actually, all the breed rescue groups I've volunteered for have specified no small children because they are afraid for the safety of the dog. Majority of small dog groups say, "No young children" because a kid who trips over a papillon could snap it in half, vs. a sturdier dog. Of course, a dog in pain/threatened is far more likely to snap at a child, so it would follow that it is for the safety of the child too--but honestly, first and foremost the thought process is about the dog.

Please do not get a dog if you do not intend to train your children how to properly interact with it. The youtube videos of kids crawling over their "good with kids" lab are horrifying to anyone who knows dog body language and stress signals. Those dogs are NOT happy with what's going on.

Some/most of them are very happy to be with their families. Others are tolerant and put up with it, not much different than adult human family members.

I agree that particular dogs may or may not be good with kids and that some breeds are generally better with kids. The breeds that I personally know of as being generally good with kids are large or extra large size dogs, although I'm not as familiar with small breeds so I can't speak to those one way or another. I also agree that rescues are anti-family and anti-kid, generally.

Most dogs getting crawled over are very happy with it?

I'm sorry, but as someone who has studied dog behavior/psychology/training for years, to the point where I have letters after my name about it, I'd have to disagree. I taught my own children to leave the dog alone unless approached by the dog. It's not that hard, and it's for the safety of both dog and child.

[Anonymous]

English Springer Spaniel. I have one and he's everything on your list. He's AWESOME!

[Anonymous]

...Others are tolerant and put up with it, not much different than adult human family members.

I agree that particular dogs may or may not be good with kids and that some breeds are generally better with kids. The breeds that I personally know of as being generally good with kids are large or extra large size dogs, although I'm not as familiar with small breeds so I can't speak to those one way or another. I also agree that rescues are anti-family and anti-kid, generally.

Most dogs getting crawled over are very happy with it?

I'm sorry, but as someone who has studied dog behavior/psychology/training for years, to the point where I have letters after my name about it, I'd have to disagree. I taught my own children to leave the dog alone unless approached by the dog. It's not that hard, and it's for the safety of both dog and child.

There is a disturbing trend for encouraging the child/infant/toddler photo ops and behavior including crawling and climbing on the dogs. That goes along with rescues/shelters/individuals posting such photos along with putting tutus etc on the dogs. http://www.amazon.com/Misunderstood-Nanny-Dogs-Objective-Concerning/dp/150872671X

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: Are your kids good with dogs? Do they know not to approach the dog, to let it seek out attention? Do they know to leave it alone when it goes to it's safe spot (crate/bed)?

Um, no. They are kids. If they did, I would not need a dog that is good with kids.

O.k. if you get a dog you do understand that you will have to supervise your children with the dog at all times, right? You'll need to make sure that your children are playing with the dog nicely and that the dog is playing with your children nicely. Be consistent and they will all eventually get it.

Pp, not OP. I have had dogs that are amazing with kids. And there are dogs that are not good with kids. And particular breeds tend to be more tolerant. Which is why "good with kids" is an incredibly common criteria for dog seekers. Which is why certain breed rescue groups advertise that they will not even consider placing a fog with z family with young kids.

Actually, all the breed rescue groups I've volunteered for have specified no small children because they are afraid for the safety of the dog. Majority of small dog groups say, "No young children" because a kid who trips over a papillon could snap it in half, vs. a sturdier dog. Of course, a dog in pain/threatened is far more likely to snap at a child, so it would follow that it is for the safety of the child too--but honestly, first and foremost the thought process is about the dog.

Please do not get a dog if you do not intend to train your children how to properly interact with it. The youtube videos of kids crawling over their "good with kids" lab are horrifying to anyone who knows dog body language and stress signals. Those dogs are NOT happy with what's going on.

Some/most of them are very happy to be with their families. Others are tolerant and put up with it, not much different than adult human family members.

I agree that particular dogs may or may not be good with kids and that some breeds are generally better with kids. The breeds that I personally know of as being generally good with kids are large or extra large size dogs, although I'm not as familiar with small breeds so I can't speak to those one way or another. I also agree that rescues are anti-family and anti-kid, generally.

Most dogs getting crawled over are very happy with it?

I'm sorry, but as someone who has studied dog behavior/psychology/training for years, to the point where I have letters after my name about it, I'd have to disagree. I taught my own children to leave the dog alone unless approached by the dog. It's not that hard, and it's for the safety of both dog and child.

Oh, you have letters after your name! Why didn't you say so before? Lol

[Anonymous]

Sounds like my dog! A rescue mutt. They are the best.

[Anonymous]

Labs need a lot of exercise...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Labs need a lot of exercise...

Not all of them. My American lab needs a short walk once a day. That's it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:After many dog-less years, we think it is time to get a dog. Wondering if anyone has suggestions of dogs breeds or mixes that satisfy as many as possible of the following insane list of criteria:

- Not prone to obsessive whimpering, barking, furniture chewing, etc.; mellow and calm
- Not prone to neurotic neediness, but affectionate and cuddly without being
- Not prone to getting into unprovoked fights with other dogs; Friendly and gentle to kids and other animals; not
- Not a little yappy thing
- Not slobbery
- Not excessively prone to emitting noxious gases
- Not possessed of such a small bladder that it requires walks ever two hours
- Not so long-haired that it must be taken to the groomer weekly or it won't be able to see and its hair will spontaneously form dreadlocks
- Not so tiny that it can be confused with a rodent
- Not so large that an average-sized woman can't pick it up and carry it down the block in a crisis
- Not so strong that a ten or twelve-year-old child can't control it on the leash if it spots a squirrel
- Not so hound-y that it is perpetually up-ending the trash cans
- Not so dumb as to be untrainable
- Not so smart that it will chew up a library of priceless first editions if it decides you're not providing it with sufficient mental stimulation
- Not so slothful that it refuses to walk more than 30 feet in inclement weather
- Not so energetic that it requires five mile runs on a daily basis
- Not such a dedicated wanderer that it will resurface in Alabama if allowed off-leash for a millisecond
- Not such a Houdini that it will perpetually be digging holes under the fence and chewing through closed doors when it decides it would like to go out

I think I am probably leaving some criteria out but you get the idea. Do such paragons of canine perfection exist?

LOL this defeats the whole purpose for getting a dog. How do you want a dog to give you their unconditional love and loyalty while you make your list of requirements? Maybe try to get an aquarium with fish instead.