Help us find the impossible: a dog that satisfies this insane list of criteria!

[Anonymous]

Both the dog I grew up with (West Highland White Terrier (Westie)) and the dog I have now (cockapoo) fit your criteria.

All puppies need to go out a lot - so you don't want a puppy. Get a dog that's a year old or so, and then train it.

A lot of the things you mentioned are personality. I've met other cockapoos that do not have the same temperament as mine. Mine chewed a few shoes when she first came to us - we learned that we needed to give her more toys, and consider training her a lifelong process rather than something you do for a couple of months. To this day, I NEVER feed her from the table, because I don't want her to beg for food. If I notice she's having a hard time following instructions, I remind her who is alpha by making her wait and let me walk through the door first, sit before I put down her water or food, etc. If I see her sniff a shoe (we're a no shoes household), I immediately call her and hold out one of her toys, or at least redirect her towards one. "Blossom, where's your fox? Go get it!"

A lot of the things you mentioned are training. YOU need to put the work in. Really, the whole family does. Consistently.

[Anonymous]

Wheaton terrier, cocker spaniel

[Anonymous]

Goldfish

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Goldfish

Lol

[Anonymous]

You are not meant to have a dog. Please, just don't

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Both the dog I grew up with (West Highland White Terrier (Westie)) and the dog I have now (cockapoo) fit your criteria.

All puppies need to go out a lot - so you don't want a puppy. Get a dog that's a year old or so, and then train it.

A lot of the things you mentioned are personality. I've met other cockapoos that do not have the same temperament as mine. Mine chewed a few shoes when she first came to us - we learned that we needed to give her more toys, and consider training her a lifelong process rather than something you do for a couple of months. To this day, I NEVER feed her from the table, because I don't want her to beg for food. If I notice she's having a hard time following instructions, I remind her who is alpha by making her wait and let me walk through the door first, sit before I put down her water or food, etc. If I see her sniff a shoe (we're a no shoes household), I immediately call her and hold out one of her toys, or at least redirect her towards one. "Blossom, where's your fox? Go get it!"

A lot of the things you mentioned are training. YOU need to put the work in. Really, the whole family does. Consistently.

I think OP wants a dog, not s hamster.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Check into Great Danes? Not sure what crisis would require that you pick up your dog, if it's not a little yippy thing.

I have many of these same criteria. My concern about GDs is short lifespan.

I've picked up my dog before. He injured his leg and I needed to get him to a vet, so I carried him down the stairs and out to the car. As a single person whose child was too small to carry the dog, I don't know what I'd have done in that circumstance with a Great Dane.

So no one should get a Great Dame lest they injure their leg?

I didn't say that. I said that there are times that it is advantageous to own a dog you can carry, even if it's not a "little yippy thing".

That doesn't mean that it should be the only criteria, but there's nothing wrong with considering it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Both the dog I grew up with (West Highland White Terrier (Westie)) and the dog I have now (cockapoo) fit your criteria.

All puppies need to go out a lot - so you don't want a puppy. Get a dog that's a year old or so, and then train it.

A lot of the things you mentioned are personality. I've met other cockapoos that do not have the same temperament as mine. Mine chewed a few shoes when she first came to us - we learned that we needed to give her more toys, and consider training her a lifelong process rather than something you do for a couple of months. To this day, I NEVER feed her from the table, because I don't want her to beg for food. If I notice she's having a hard time following instructions, I remind her who is alpha by making her wait and let me walk through the door first, sit before I put down her water or food, etc. If I see her sniff a shoe (we're a no shoes household), I immediately call her and hold out one of her toys, or at least redirect her towards one. "Blossom, where's your fox? Go get it!"

A lot of the things you mentioned are training. YOU need to put the work in. Really, the whole family does. Consistently.

I think OP wants a dog, not s hamster.

Huh? The Westie was 15 pounds and my cockapoo is at 13. Both are bigger than teacup size, too big to fit into a regular hobo purse, but small enough I can scoop her up in one arm (not hand, arm) when a scary unleashed dog is coming towards us.

[Anonymous]

There is no one breed that is all of that. Not sure which (if any) of the attributes are qualities that you can live with and which are absolute deal breakers for you.

It would be helpful if you could list your top 10 attributes from most important to least important.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There is no one breed that is all of that. Not sure which (if any) of the attributes are qualities that you can live with and which are absolute deal breakers for you.

It would be helpful if you could list your top 10 attributes from most important to least important.

OP here. Dealbreakers: neurotic, hyper, destructive, noisy, aggressive (to dogs or people).

Basically need a calm dog that, as an adult, can handle being alone for 6-8 hour stretches, will mostly lie down quietly while indoors, and will not snarl, lunge at or bite other dogs or people. Prefered size 20-45 pounds.

[Anonymous]

A stuffed animal will satisfy all these criteria.

[Anonymous]

Havanese

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is no one breed that is all of that. Not sure which (if any) of the attributes are qualities that you can live with and which are absolute deal breakers for you.

It would be helpful if you could list your top 10 attributes from most important to least important.

OP here. Dealbreakers: neurotic, hyper, destructive, noisy, aggressive (to dogs or people).

Basically need a calm dog that, as an adult, can handle being alone for 6-8 hour stretches, will mostly lie down quietly while indoors, and will not snarl, lunge at or bite other dogs or people. Prefered size 20-45 pounds.

Have not had one myself but I think the good ok lab fits the bill.

Also I repeat my suggestion of standard poodle. I am leaning that way myself, had a wonderful one growing up. Just miss the antics and fierce looks of the boxer I lost a few years ago.

[Anonymous]

I need a dog that doesn't poop.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is no one breed that is all of that. Not sure which (if any) of the attributes are qualities that you can live with and which are absolute deal breakers for you.

It would be helpful if you could list your top 10 attributes from most important to least important.

OP here. Dealbreakers: neurotic, hyper, destructive, noisy, aggressive (to dogs or people).

Basically need a calm dog that, as an adult, can handle being alone for 6-8 hour stretches, will mostly lie down quietly while indoors, and will not snarl, lunge at or bite other dogs or people. Prefered size 20-45 pounds.

That can be anything from a dachshund to a pit bull (seriously). But all dogs need training, time, attention put into them.