if your child is in daycare (and no, I'm NOT a troll)

[Anonymous]

I don't work but I feel like my child is better off in a fancy daycare then home with me. He has fun there and when he comes home, we spend quality time together. I don't mind him being influenced by others. The world is full of it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My 2 year old is in full-time daycare in my work building. I love that there are others influencing my child; his providers have been incredibly loving and are teaching him self-sufficiency like I never could. They taught him how to get dressed, potty-training, serving himself food, etc. These are things that I probably would have just continued to do for him for quite awhile.

Do I feel pangs of guilt for leaving him sometimes? Yes, definitely, but less so now than when he was a baby. That said, I'm incredibly grateful for the care that he receives and it has definitely been the right choice for our whole family.

I hope tomorrow feels better- could you cut out a little early for some extra cuddling/playtime today?

This is how I feel about it. I had some guilt when they were infants, but once they were toddlers and up, the benefits were obvious. My kids made some great friends, we met other nice families, they have strong bonds with former teachers, etc.

[Anonymous]

Guilt is not the right word. I love his daycare and they love him. I do rush to get him after work, but not because I feel guilty- but because I miss him and he is a fun little guy.

Eventually- we will all leave our kids in others care (preschool, elementary school). So we need to separate a bit and remember that our kids are on their own journey.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Curious who else feels pangs of guilt about someone else influencing your child those hours you can't be with them. I'm talking about younger than 5 years old (the formative years I believe the say, the years that determine personality, etc.)
I work PT, which I am grateful for, but the guilt is no less palpable. I love my job, but I also feel like I'm shortchanging my kid. Just looking for commiseration here. One of those days, you know?

Lady: I'm positive that if my kids stayed at home, they would be under-stimulated much of the time.

[Anonymous]

No, no guilt and no feeling like I'm short changing my kids. They love their teachers and they learn a ton and have fun playing with their friends. I have a great relationship with my kids and I'm so appreciative that I have these wonderful teachers who are helping me raise my kids, taking loving care of them, and teaching them new things while I'm at work. It's a wonderful thing to have so many loving caregivers.

[Anonymous]

Interesting...
http://www.maxim.org.nz/Policy_and_Research/The_effects_of_early_and_sustained_day-care_during_the_forma

"Protective Factors that tend to reduce negative outcomes of day-care:

• High quality day-care that is consistent with one provider
• Sensitive parenting
• Consistency between care providers/fewer multiple care arrangements i.e. day-care in conjunction with care from family members.
• Day-care provision starting over the age of 12 months"

[Anonymous]

It takes a village to raise a child and daycare providers are part of that village.

[Anonymous]

I worked FT w/ my first and now I work PT from home with my second child at home. I felt guilty leaving my first daughter at daycare, even though she was at a good place and had lots of little friends. Actually, the guilt made me realize that I wanted to find a more flexible work arrangement so I could be at home with my kids more.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Interesting...
http://www.maxim.org.nz/Policy_and_Research/The_effects_of_early_and_sustained_day-care_during_the_forma

"Protective Factors that tend to reduce negative outcomes of day-care:

• High quality day-care that is consistent with one provider
• Sensitive parenting
• Consistency between care providers/fewer multiple care arrangements i.e. day-care in conjunction with care from family members.
• Day-care provision starting over the age of 12 months"

Will look at the article later when I'm not so tired, but it looks like from your notes that the main thing is consistency. With the bolded item above, is this suggesting that the best situation is consistency in terms of not having daycare 3 days, grandma 2 days, and parents on the weekends as daytime caregivers? Or is it saying that it would be better to have full-time daycare 5 days a week with parents being daytime caregivers on the weekends, rather than one parent working 3 days, caring for the child the other 2 days, and then both parents home on the weekends?

Interesting about the issue after the age of 12 months, too. At what point does this end (i.e. it is thus bad for kids at age 3 to go to FT preschool)? Seems a little confusing but really fascinating.

[Anonymous]

Here's a recent Washington Post article that suggests quality is more important than quantity when it comes to spending time with kids.