if your child is in daycare (and no, I'm NOT a troll)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was lucky I didn't need strangers raising my kids.

That comment should increase the page hits. Somewhere, Jeff is smiling with a big bowl of popcorn.

[Anonymous]

I think I'm pretty awesome, but that doesn't mean that I think I am so fantastic that I should be the SOLE influence in my child's life. I think that there is a real advantage to giving my children exposure to different caregivers. As all the others have stated, of course I'm going to look for great child care, but no, I don't feel guilt.

[Anonymous]

I still exchange birthday cards with my own childcare provider who watched me when I was under 5. She gave me a gift when I graduated high school and came to my wedding/baby showers.

So, no, I don't feel guilty that my kids are in childcare now.

[Anonymous]

I don't feel guilty about the influencing. I do feel guilty that they aren't getting affection and attention from me all the time. They are getting affection and attention from their teachers, but it's not as much/as intense as what I offer them when we are together. Although, if I were with them all the time, I might not have the energy (physical and mental) to give them the same level of attention and affection they get from me when I'm home from work . ..

[Anonymous]

Honestly, it doesn't even really cross my mind. My child would have started full time pre school at 3 anyway, so it's not like I would be home with her until she's 6 anyway.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm a better mom because my kids went to daycare. No guilt here.

This. I felt occasional pangs of guilt through the first 1.5-2 years. Then one day I decided to leave work early, pick up DD, and have a nice afternoon at the playground. When she saw me she ran away crying... They were just getting ready to go outside. I said, we'll go to the playground at home!
But mommy, I want to stay and play WITH MY FRIENDS!!!
Zero guilt from that day on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I do not feel guilty at all; flame me if you must. Instead I appreciate that my toddler DD has kind caregivers who are introducing her to art projects, helped us wean her off the bottle, helped transition her to a consistent nap schedule, and provide balanced (catered) lunches. She is there about 7 hours each day and I think she is thriving.

When my maternity leave ended I felt really sad about returning to work, but now I am extremely happy with our choice. Switching to a daycare we love was the difference.

Likewise, and I didn't even feel sad about going back to work -- but I took a long leave and left DS with his grandmother for a couple more months, so there's that. He started day care just shy of 9 months and loved it from the first moment. He learns so much there. His teachers are wonderful and caring, he gets exposed to new foods and songs that we don't do at home, they practice brushing teeth and using utensils, they do arts and crafts projects, etc. I sure am not doing painting projects at home!

I wouldn't feel guilty about putting a school-age child in school rather than teaching them at home. To me, day care for an older infant on up is school -- in fact we call it that. I would feel bad about putting a four month old in, but only because they seem so little at that age. Once they are mobile I think it's great for them to see different environments and have different experiences.

[Anonymous]

my kids get more out of daycare than out of being home. they're with caregivers who are like a second family to us. they're doing age-appropriate things with people who have a LOT more experience with kids that age than i do! i love being with my kids, but i genuinely believe that the (admittedly high quality and cost prohibitive for lots of people, i realize) daycare adds enormous value to their lives.

[Anonymous]

I have HUGE guilt. I miss my 2 year old constantly. I trust and like his day care provider but I would love to have more opportunity to influence him. I don't have the option to work part time (nor could I really afford it) and I know I would not be great at being a full-time SAHM (prone to depression) so it is what it is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My 2 year old is in full-time daycare in my work building. I love that there are others influencing my child; his providers have been incredibly loving and are teaching him self-sufficiency like I never could. They taught him how to get dressed, potty-training, serving himself food, etc. These are things that I probably would have just continued to do for him for quite awhile.

Do I feel pangs of guilt for leaving him sometimes? Yes, definitely, but less so now than when he was a baby. That said, I'm incredibly grateful for the care that he receives and it has definitely been the right choice for our whole family.

I hope tomorrow feels better- could you cut out a little early for some extra cuddling/playtime today?

This. There are times when I drop him off and he is walking away where I feel sad. But the amount he has learned at daycare is no where near what I would be able to teach him at home. And sometimes on the weekend, I think he is bored with me, DH and the same ol' toys!

[Anonymous]

I always thought I would SAH - really thought it was best and sort of still do - but in any case I can't afford it so i don't even discuss that aspect in my mind anymore. Answering your question, I did feel guilty when she was at an ok daycare- I felt so totally fdisconnected from her. But now she is at a MUCh better daycare (sadly also much more expensive) and I am telling you, it is night and day and no I do not feel guilty. I talk to her teachers every day, they tell me everything about how things went, and in turn i can talk about it with my little girl, sing her the same songs she sang in school, etc. So really for me it is not perfect having kids in daycare, but since i have to, a GOOD daycare made all the difference and I don't feel guilty anymore.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was lucky I didn't need strangers raising my kids.

That comment should increase the page hits. Somewhere, Jeff is smiling with a big bowl of popcorn.

i absolutely love how no one is feeding this person. rock on, ladies.

[Anonymous]

I hardly think under 5 are the formative years.

[Anonymous]

OP, how long has your child been in daycare? I thought I would feel exactly as you described and in fact, did feel that way the first 2 months DS was there. Now, I feel great. As PPers have said, I think daycare provides more structure and learning than I could have (again, not a knock on SAHMs, just saying I would not have made the best one). I also enjoy the limited amount of time we have together so much more. It's a great balance.

[Anonymous]

I am surprised there are not more responders who do feel some/more guilt.