Do you have experience with ADHD-1 (inattentive)?

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:My very bright 16-year-old clearly has inattentive ADD, but she's untreated. She spends hours every night on HW (and in the shower!) but she and my DH (who takes meds for his ADD) and I have agreed to keep an eye on things but not seek treatment at this point. She is comfortable with her pace, though it means she gets less sleep than her peers. She can perform well on tests (hyperfocused) and benefits from her high IQ. It is a struggle, but as long as she continues to do well and feel capable, we're keeping an eye on her.

My 14 year old DD was diagnosed with inattentive ADD last week. She sounds very similar to OPs daughter, with the exception that she has a tough time with grades. My DD works really hard to keep up, but still forgets to turn in assignments, blanks out on tests, etc. and it is a ton of work trying to keep her grades decent (not great).
My question to you is why no medication? I am just starting to read up on inattentive ADD and most things I've read say treatment with medication is very helpful. We have no idea how to approach/help, but we don't want her to stress out by having to study all of the time.

[Anonymous]

Many opt out from meds because of the side effects.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Many opt out from meds because of the side effects.

Thanks- from what I've read so far, only a small percent get side effects and there are several drugs one could try until finding "the right one".

This is new to us and it's really hard trying to find the best plan. Right now we are working with DD every day, trying to manage her school work, help her study, organize her things, etc.. It's overwhelming but we are hoping she catches on to organization and study habits and can keep up with her work.

[Anonymous]

Not a small percent at all, unfortunately. But you will never know unless you try.

[Anonymous]

And just to add, you as a parent is not in the best position to help the child. Animosity and resentment will gradually build up. Hire someone to help.

[Anonymous]

I think you're right that only a small percent get side effects like tics or headaches. But, at least with the stimulant meds, a large percentage get side effects like some degree of appetite suppression or sleep difficulty. For my child that eats a lot and sleeps generally well, those side effects are quite tolerable. I have another child that is an insomniac that is never hungry and is pretty underweight -- her ADHD is not terribly bad, so we're not medicating at this time because I think the effects on her sleep and appetite are not worth the benefit--which I think would largely be things like less calling out in class, or more focused when practicing her instruments. You have to make a judgment call based on your particular child and their issues. I reassess on a regular basis and we may make a different call when she hits middle school. She's in 4th grade now, and I feel like her organizational skills have taken a huge leap forward this year -- her stuff is still a mess, but she remembers to do all her homework on her own and generally does her chores with a prompt or two.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My very bright 16-year-old clearly has inattentive ADD, but she's untreated. She spends hours every night on HW (and in the shower!) but she and my DH (who takes meds for his ADD) and I have agreed to keep an eye on things but not seek treatment at this point. She is comfortable with her pace, though it means she gets less sleep than her peers. She can perform well on tests (hyperfocused) and benefits from her high IQ. It is a struggle, but as long as she continues to do well and feel capable, we're keeping an eye on her.

This was me as a teenager, back in the day before anyone knew what ADD was (at least outside of the big cities). I rocked standardized tests. What really helped me with homework was music or TV on. I know it runs counter to what everyone says about screen time, but unless there was something else going on, I would just blank out and end up staring at the stage or writing Tolkien fan fiction in my head or something and then realize it was 11 p.m. and my homework was not done. TV or music kept one track of my brain occupied so the other track could do homework. Music worked better for language arts type homework, while TV was better for math. (Of course, that was also in the days when TV was just whatever happened to be on, so half the time it wasn't like the shows were all that riveting. It might be harder now that you can actually pick something good to watch.) I don't think my parents even realized I did my homework in front of the guest room TV every night. To this day, I cannot drive without music on, as I get 100% distracted unless there is something to distract me 25%, if that makes sense. My other trick was taking copious notes, that I would then annotate during class discussion. It forced me to stay focused. (And everyone wanted to borrow them to study for tests!).

OMG, I know I'm bumping an old thread, but I was looking through stuff on ADD-inattentive and bright kids (because we may have one of those) and found this. THIS IS ME. Not literally, but PP, you just described me exactly. And I was on the very high end of the bell curve of academic success (Ivy, law school, blah blah blah). But I always had to have something on to -- just as you said -- keep one track of my mind entertained so it wouldn't interfere with the track of my mind that was supposed to be doing my schoolwork.
I wonder if there's a name for whatever that is? Is it ADD-inattentive? Or something else?
Anyway, I wish we knew each other. I don't know anyone else like that.

\

I'm the PP that you responded to, just now looking back at this thread. Maybe we do know each other! I went to an Ivy law school.

[Anonymous]

So there are a bunch of us! This all makes me wonder -- why do anything about my possibly ADHD-inattentive first grader? She's happy and not disruptive. She's doing well in school (all P's, but I guess that's fine, and reading way ahead of grade level), but I do think she's inattentive. Like if I give her 3 instructions, unless it's something she's interested in, she'll drop one. The teacher says she seems somewhat inattentive, but not unusually so for her age. Anyway, it's kind of a gray area. But part of me feels that her father and I are ADD-inattentive and very bright, and maybe there's some tradeoff there? Like the hyperfocus that's part of the ADD-inattentive is helpful, and I don't want to take that from her. You know?
I know it's an easy call to treat ADD when it's making the kid's life hard or making it hard for them to do well in school. But if it isn't, then maybe there's a benefit to it as well...

Why do anything? You said it yourself..."The teacher says she seems somewhat inattentive, but not unusually so for her age." That is because, in first grade, most 6-7 year olds are distractible so your daughter does not stand out. But as time goes on, her non-neuro-typical brain will become apparent as will her lack of executive functioning skills, working memory, etc. Waiting to help a child is never a good idea. Those with ADHD do not have "hyper focus" they have an inability to regulate their focus, thus making learning difficult. ADHD is also exhausting! Tasks which neuro-typical brain people can do without thinking, takes those with ADHD longer and uses up more energy. As school becomes more intense, ADHD issues become more apparent. Get your child the skills and help to cope sooner than later.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

So there are a bunch of us! This all makes me wonder -- why do anything about my possibly ADHD-inattentive first grader? She's happy and not disruptive. She's doing well in school (all P's, but I guess that's fine, and reading way ahead of grade level), but I do think she's inattentive. Like if I give her 3 instructions, unless it's something she's interested in, she'll drop one. The teacher says she seems somewhat inattentive, but not unusually so for her age. Anyway, it's kind of a gray area. But part of me feels that her father and I are ADD-inattentive and very bright, and maybe there's some tradeoff there? Like the hyperfocus that's part of the ADD-inattentive is helpful, and I don't want to take that from her. You know?
I know it's an easy call to treat ADD when it's making the kid's life hard or making it hard for them to do well in school. But if it isn't, then maybe there's a benefit to it as well...

Why do anything? You said it yourself..."The teacher says she seems somewhat inattentive, but not unusually so for her age." That is because, in first grade, most 6-7 year olds are distractible so your daughter does not stand out. But as time goes on, her non-neuro-typical brain will become apparent as will her lack of executive functioning skills, working memory, etc. Waiting to help a child is never a good idea. Those with ADHD do not have "hyper focus" they have an inability to regulate their focus, thus making learning difficult. ADHD is also exhausting! Tasks which neuro-typical brain people can do without thinking, takes those with ADHD longer and uses up more energy. As school becomes more intense, ADHD issues become more apparent. Get your child the skills and help to cope sooner than later.

Ok, but what help and skills are there for a kid who is doing well? We don't even know if she has it at this point. I agree if she seems to be inattentive relative to her peers, an evaluation makes sense and go from there. But so far, she seems to be fine. I notice in attentiveness at home at times, but I'm no expert on the difference between normal 6 and inattentive. The teacher is saying the same thing -- yes, some inattentiveness but nothing unusual. And if it does turn out to be inattentiveness, but only in the degree that her parents had it, and we were very successful academically and happy kids/adults, then what's the harm?
To me, it seems like the mild version of this is kind of just a variation that maybe doesn't need treatment. I'm not belittling the seriousness of it when it isn't mild or when it's having an impact emotionally or academically. At all. But if we are just talking about a kid who is happy and doing well, then what's the point? Extra coaching on executive function stuff seems wise anyway. As does having a clear routine for homework. But otherwise I'm not seeing the point.

[Anonymous]

Get the books The ADHD book of lists and Smart but Scattered. They have a lot of good advice that will help a person that is just spacey, as well as those with ADHD. There is basically no downside to implementing most of these strategies, other than the cost of the book and your time reading it. I'd work on that stuff, which will help her regardless, and only worry about things like medication, 504 plans, etc. if it becomes problematic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Get the books The ADHD book of lists and Smart but Scattered. They have a lot of good advice that will help a person that is just spacey, as well as those with ADHD. There is basically no downside to implementing most of these strategies, other than the cost of the book and your time reading it. I'd work on that stuff, which will help her regardless, and only worry about things like medication, 504 plans, etc. if it becomes problematic.

Thank you!! I have smart but scattered, for myself! Will read the other and put some practices into action.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hi OP - I've raised two kids with ADHD-inattentive. You are not going to want to hear this but our daughter sounds exactly what you posted (down to even taking hours to take a shower) got misdiagnosed ("exec functioning disorder" "slow processing" "ADHD-inattentive" "Depression" "Generalized Anxiety disorder) at least four times. We didn't find out until she was 16 that she actually had Asperger's/now "on the spectrum". As an adult, it is very obvious now that she has Asperger's. I wish I had received correct testing results early on so I could have provided more intervention but we followed what the pediatrician ("perfectly NT - no issues"), private schools, five testers, three shrinks and two therapists told us. We started therapy and testing at four an no one got it right until age 16. I wish you only the best of luck and want to remind you to keep retesting every three years.

Pretty much the same with my DS. Diagnosed at 8 as ADHD inattentive, got the Aspergers diagnosis at 14. So much money and energy spent.

Please share what led you to the Aspergers diagnosis and who discovered it. Thanks.

My DD - 13 has slow processing, memory and organizational challenges that led to two neuropsych evaluations concluding executive function deficit with mild ADHD - I.
But I am wondering about Aspergers now....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

So there are a bunch of us! This all makes me wonder -- why do anything about my possibly ADHD-inattentive first grader? She's happy and not disruptive. She's doing well in school (all P's, but I guess that's fine, and reading way ahead of grade level), but I do think she's inattentive. Like if I give her 3 instructions, unless it's something she's interested in, she'll drop one. The teacher says she seems somewhat inattentive, but not unusually so for her age. Anyway, it's kind of a gray area. But part of me feels that her father and I are ADD-inattentive and very bright, and maybe there's some tradeoff there? Like the hyperfocus that's part of the ADD-inattentive is helpful, and I don't want to take that from her. You know?
I know it's an easy call to treat ADD when it's making the kid's life hard or making it hard for them to do well in school. But if it isn't, then maybe there's a benefit to it as well...

Why do anything? You said it yourself..."The teacher says she seems somewhat inattentive, but not unusually so for her age." That is because, in first grade, most 6-7 year olds are distractible so your daughter does not stand out. But as time goes on, her non-neuro-typical brain will become apparent as will her lack of executive functioning skills, working memory, etc. Waiting to help a child is never a good idea. Those with ADHD do not have "hyper focus" they have an inability to regulate their focus, thus making learning difficult. ADHD is also exhausting! Tasks which neuro-typical brain people can do without thinking, takes those with ADHD longer and uses up more energy. As school becomes more intense, ADHD issues become more apparent. Get your child the skills and help to cope sooner than later.

Ok, but what help and skills are there for a kid who is doing well? We don't even know if she has it at this point. I agree if she seems to be inattentive relative to her peers, an evaluation makes sense and go from there. But so far, she seems to be fine. I notice in attentiveness at home at times, but I'm no expert on the difference between normal 6 and inattentive. The teacher is saying the same thing -- yes, some inattentiveness but nothing unusual. And if it does turn out to be inattentiveness, but only in the degree that her parents had it, and we were very successful academically and happy kids/adults, then what's the harm?
To me, it seems like the mild version of this is kind of just a variation that maybe doesn't need treatment. I'm not belittling the seriousness of it when it isn't mild or when it's having an impact emotionally or academically. At all. But if we are just talking about a kid who is happy and doing well, then what's the point? Extra coaching on executive function stuff seems wise anyway. As does having a clear routine for homework. But otherwise I'm not seeing the point.

We have a similar child, who although doing "fine" in first grade according to teacher started feeling dumb because she wasn't finishing things as fast as others and started saying she did not like school. Behavioral therapy has helped a lot. No mess. Focus of the therapy is "understand your own brain" so identify distractions, identify planning lapses, etc., and learn what to do about them.

[Anonymous]

^ should say "no meds"

[Anonymous]

So who do you go to for behavioral therapy?

My DD is 9 and has improved a lot during third grade. School calls her ADHD inattentive and I accept that to get her IEP help. I think she is just immature. Still least 6 months to a year behind other kids.

But I think behavioral therapy would help.

Cannot see doing drugs