Do you have experience with ADHD-1 (inattentive)?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hi OP - I've raised two kids with ADHD-inattentive. You are not going to want to hear this but our daughter sounds exactly what you posted (down to even taking hours to take a shower) got misdiagnosed ("exec functioning disorder" "slow processing" "ADHD-inattentive" "Depression" "Generalized Anxiety disorder) at least four times. We didn't find out until she was 16 that she actually had Asperger's/now "on the spectrum". As an adult, it is very obvious now that she has Asperger's. I wish I had received correct testing results early on so I could have provided more intervention but we followed what the pediatrician ("perfectly NT - no issues"), private schools, five testers, three shrinks and two therapists told us. We started therapy and testing at four an no one got it right until age 16. I wish you only the best of luck and want to remind you to keep retesting every three years.

Pretty much the same with my DS. Diagnosed at 8 as ADHD inattentive, got the Aspergers diagnosis at 14. So much money and energy spent.

[Anonymous]

Asperger's and ADHD are not mutually exclusive, you can have both and it's quite common: I've heard figures as high as 2/3 of kid with ASD can have ADHD. My son is both Asperger's and ADHD but he has ADHD, combined type.

It's useful to have a neuropsych eval so that you can target the interventions. Example: My Aspie does not have "slow processing" or "working memory" issues but took longer to do homework bc he spent so much time running around and pacing instead of attending to the assignment. Medication stopped the running around.

Because my DS already had an Asperger's diagnosis, I had thought the running around and pacing were stims! But apparently not since they are completely gone with medication for the ADHD.

[Anonymous]

OP here - let's talk about getting a diagnosis. Do you see a neuropsych for this? Does insurance usually pay for it? Is it a one visit thing? Sorry, I'm totally new to all of this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here - let's talk about getting a diagnosis. Do you see a neuropsych for this? Does insurance usually pay for it? Is it a one visit thing? Sorry, I'm totally new to all of this.

10:09 here. Yes, the ADHD was found through a full neuropsych eval. We used Dr. Black who is awesome but does not take insurance. He is an expert on Asperger's and kids with complicated profiles like my DS. Testing is done in 2 days but there is a parent meeting prior to testing and another meeting after testing to review the results.

Children's and KKI both do neuropsych evals and they take insurance.

[Anonymous]

OP-- i may be an outlier here but I think it is worth recalling that many of these diagnoses are highly subjective. ADHD is diagnosed based on a cluster of behaviors; the signs and symptoms of what we call ADHD, "slow processing speed," anxiety, some mild LDs can all be pretty similar, and even for extremely experienced testers it is often a judgment call. The "correct" diagnosis is whichever one leads to interventions that are helpful. So I would not focus so much on labels: you may need a label to get an IEP or meds, but remember that there is more subjectivity than you might think in those labels.

Also remember: labels notwithstanding, something is only a problem if it's a problem. If you DD is happy and successful, who cares if a tester might label her as ADHD-inattentive? If she is unhappy about how long things take her, there may be many behavior interventions and meds that would help, but I'd be wary of pathologizing her behavior. Some people work faster than others: if it doesn't bother her, so what?

- Spouse of a shrink who does neuropsych testing for kids, and mother of one kid who was diagnosed with ADHD who is bright but struggles in school, and another kid who probably could be diagnosed with ADHD but who does fine and is happy....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP-- i may be an outlier here but I think it is worth recalling that many of these diagnoses are highly subjective. ADHD is diagnosed based on a cluster of behaviors; the signs and symptoms of what we call ADHD, "slow processing speed," anxiety, some mild LDs can all be pretty similar, and even for extremely experienced testers it is often a judgment call. The "correct" diagnosis is whichever one leads to interventions that are helpful. So I would not focus so much on labels: you may need a label to get an IEP or meds, but remember that there is more subjectivity than you might think in those labels.

Also remember: labels notwithstanding, something is only a problem if it's a problem. If you DD is happy and successful, who cares if a tester might label her as ADHD-inattentive? If she is unhappy about how long things take her, there may be many behavior interventions and meds that would help, but I'd be wary of pathologizing her behavior. Some people work faster than others: if it doesn't bother her, so what?

- Spouse of a shrink who does neuropsych testing for kids, and mother of one kid who was diagnosed with ADHD who is bright but struggles in school, and another kid who probably could be diagnosed with ADHD but who does fine and is happy....

Thank you, very wise words.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My very bright 16-year-old clearly has inattentive ADD, but she's untreated. She spends hours every night on HW (and in the shower!) but she and my DH (who takes meds for his ADD) and I have agreed to keep an eye on things but not seek treatment at this point. She is comfortable with her pace, though it means she gets less sleep than her peers. She can perform well on tests (hyperfocused) and benefits from her high IQ. It is a struggle, but as long as she continues to do well and feel capable, we're keeping an eye on her.

This was me as a teenager, back in the day before anyone knew what ADD was (at least outside of the big cities). I rocked standardized tests. What really helped me with homework was music or TV on. I know it runs counter to what everyone says about screen time, but unless there was something else going on, I would just blank out and end up staring at the stage or writing Tolkien fan fiction in my head or something and then realize it was 11 p.m. and my homework was not done. TV or music kept one track of my brain occupied so the other track could do homework. Music worked better for language arts type homework, while TV was better for math. (Of course, that was also in the days when TV was just whatever happened to be on, so half the time it wasn't like the shows were all that riveting. It might be harder now that you can actually pick something good to watch.) I don't think my parents even realized I did my homework in front of the guest room TV every night. To this day, I cannot drive without music on, as I get 100% distracted unless there is something to distract me 25%, if that makes sense. My other trick was taking copious notes, that I would then annotate during class discussion. It forced me to stay focused. (And everyone wanted to borrow them to study for tests!).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP-- i may be an outlier here but I think it is worth recalling that many of these diagnoses are highly subjective. ADHD is diagnosed based on a cluster of behaviors; the signs and symptoms of what we call ADHD, "slow processing speed," anxiety, some mild LDs can all be pretty similar, and even for extremely experienced testers it is often a judgment call. The "correct" diagnosis is whichever one leads to interventions that are helpful. So I would not focus so much on labels: you may need a label to get an IEP or meds, but remember that there is more subjectivity than you might think in those labels.

Also remember: labels notwithstanding, something is only a problem if it's a problem. If you DD is happy and successful, who cares if a tester might label her as ADHD-inattentive? If she is unhappy about how long things take her, there may be many behavior interventions and meds that would help, but I'd be wary of pathologizing her behavior. Some people work faster than others: if it doesn't bother her, so what?

- Spouse of a shrink who does neuropsych testing for kids, and mother of one kid who was diagnosed with ADHD who is bright but struggles in school, and another kid who probably could be diagnosed with ADHD but who does fine and is happy....

I'm OP and I really appreciate your post. To be perfectly honest, right now, I'm probably not going to do anything (including taking her to a neuropshych). She is okay for now and is not too bothered by how long things take her (DH and I are the ones who are driven crazy by her behavior), but she is bothered that she doesn't have time for friends. None of this is a critical mass situation right now, but things seem to have gotten worse over the past year and I am worried that things may get much worse in HS next year. My biggest fear is letting the situation go too long and that if the situation does hit critical mass - having it be too late to get the IEP or whatever intervention we need to get accommodations that will help her work to her potential. I'd love for people to tell me to relax and just let it go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

What's eye control intervention? My DD is not on the spectrum (she has inattentive ADHD) but she tells me she is not physically capable of looking people in the eye. I wonder if there is an intervention for that.

As an adult, I am unable to keep focus on looking at people in their eyes while talking. Most of it because I am a Vietnamese (Asian) and I was taught to not to do it. Doing so is like being very rude when talking to older people, or challenging the opponent. I think Chinese people also have the same rule. I personally think that making eye contact while speaking isn't a big deal so I wouldn't think there should be an intervention for that.

My DS, also an Aspie, dislikes one of his teachers very much. She forces him to look into her eyes by holding/cupping his face in her hands. My DS doesn't like any stranger - i.e. not his mommy and daddy - touch him so this forcing eye contact always makes him more upset.

'


Mom of an Aspie here. This is not the way to handle an Aspie. Physical touch, confrontation, forced eyes - this is awful. Are you in pubic? Do you have an IEP? Can you call in your IEP teacher. If private, do you have a counselor or principal you can go to. This is not right. Also, legally, touching a study like this could be considered an assault. You need to take action here.

Thank you for your comment. We have just had the first diagnose from our dev ped and will meet with Child Find next week for screening. All of these are new to us. Could you please advise? My DS is currently a preschooler at a private school. I cringe every time I saw the teacher touches kids' face, not just my child's, but other children' as well. I had thought that's the way the teachers - every teacher - does to get kid's attention.

[Anonymous]

PP, tell the teacher to stop touching your kid's face. If he/she wants the kid's attention he can say, "Look at me." "Look at my eyes." If the teacher doesn't stop touching your kid, report this to the head of school/principal.

[Anonymous]

OP, whether or not you pursue a diagnosis, you may want to review basic organizational/study skills with your DD. Set up systems. There are tutors that specialize in executive skills. This could be a short term thing. This book is helpful:
http://www.amazon.com/Homework-Made-Simple-Solutions-Stress-Free/dp/0971460981/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1424924215&sr=1-1&keywords=ann+dolin

Also, one thing that people who have ADHD do is "avoidance." If she procrastinates long enough on everything, she is eliminating the possibility of socializing with her friends. She may not even be aware that she's doing it, but doing it b/c friendships are stressful to her at the moment. I would back off on pressuring her to get together with friends at this point.

[Anonymous]

OP, have you spoken to your DD's teachers? Would be interesting to know if her slowness at home translates into needing extra time on tests, spaciness in the classroom etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:


Hi OP - this is the first PP whose daughter with ADHD inattentive turned out to be an Aspie. Alas, no. DD is so smart she qualified for youth Mensa (if you are in to that sort of thing - I signed her up to bolster her self-confidence which is at an all-time low). She got As and B+s throughout middle school and upper school years, although she did have an IEP once we got the Asperger's diagnosis. I think her I.Q. is 147. She scored a combined 33 on the ACT (but not the writing part - she cannot write). She made honor society at college. But she cannot drive (she drives like Temple Gradin - go rent the movie if you have not seen it), cannot self-regulate at college, cannot get herself to wash her hair, take her meds or go to bed or get up on time. She has little self-awareness (she's probably emotionally about 12 years old) so when younger did not realize there was a problem except that homework took forever. She also would stay in the shower as long as we would let her. I have found some adult Aspies on this site who explained that for them showering is a nightmare because "it's like peeling my skin off when I remove my clothes" then in the shower they said "I don't want to get out because then I have to decide what clothes to put on; often I just put on my old clothes so I don't have to make the decision". Hygiene has become an issue in college - DD is working with a counselor there on the showering issue. For what it's worth, DH thinks the shower is the equivalent of Temple Grandin's "squeeze-box" but that makes sense only if you see the movie. For what it's worth, our pediatrician, like your husband, didn't think there was anything NT off. There clearly was. I wish I had got intervention earlier. Was your child late to potty train? Have GERD or digestive issues? Our pediatrician ignored all of those symptoms too. Only after seeing a ped. endocrinologist did we discover that DD was not making up all the trips to the pott and digestive issues. She had five year old fecalomas inside her, a distended colon, and mega-colon. She will never be normal. I'm posting this not to alarm you. Nothing like this existed when we went through the trauma. My DH didn't even know what Asperger's was when we got the diagnosis. I pray I am very wrong and that all will work out really well for you. BTW we relied on a lot of $$ tutors. Composition and writing will always be a challenge. BTW, check DD's vitamin D levels. There is a brand new study indicating a link between vitamin D deficiency at birth and autism. DD just got at vitamin D test at her college - she scored only 21.5 on the 25(HO) test. 30 to 70 is norm. 100 is high. . I also wish I had gotten her speech intervention. As an adult, it is very apparent. It wasn't when she was younger. Praying for you. I am coming to terms with the fact that my Aspie will probably never be self-sufficient and will be living with me for life after college. It's heartbreaking.

Thank you for sharing this. Your post is helpful to me and many others. It sucks when professions and spouses don't see what you see and if your questioning goes on and on, you look looney.

Could you share how you finally got as Aspie DX? What were the signs and who saw them?

(hugs to you) As moms we do the best we can!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hi OP - I've raised two kids with ADHD-inattentive. You are not going to want to hear this but our daughter sounds exactly what you posted (down to even taking hours to take a shower) got misdiagnosed ("exec functioning disorder" "slow processing" "ADHD-inattentive" "Depression" "Generalized Anxiety disorder) at least four times. We didn't find out until she was 16 that she actually had Asperger's/now "on the spectrum". As an adult, it is very obvious now that she has Asperger's. I wish I had received correct testing results early on so I could have provided more intervention but we followed what the pediatrician ("perfectly NT - no issues"), private schools, five testers, three shrinks and two therapists told us. We started therapy and testing at four an no one got it right until age 16. I wish you only the best of luck and want to remind you to keep retesting every three years.

Pretty much the same with my DS. Diagnosed at 8 as ADHD inattentive, got the Aspergers diagnosis at 14. So much money and energy spent.

Can you share how you thought to continue to peruse????

What were your clues that ADAD-I was not right?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My very bright 16-year-old clearly has inattentive ADD, but she's untreated. She spends hours every night on HW (and in the shower!) but she and my DH (who takes meds for his ADD) and I have agreed to keep an eye on things but not seek treatment at this point. She is comfortable with her pace, though it means she gets less sleep than her peers. She can perform well on tests (hyperfocused) and benefits from her high IQ. It is a struggle, but as long as she continues to do well and feel capable, we're keeping an eye on her.

This was me as a teenager, back in the day before anyone knew what ADD was (at least outside of the big cities). I rocked standardized tests. What really helped me with homework was music or TV on. I know it runs counter to what everyone says about screen time, but unless there was something else going on, I would just blank out and end up staring at the stage or writing Tolkien fan fiction in my head or something and then realize it was 11 p.m. and my homework was not done. TV or music kept one track of my brain occupied so the other track could do homework. Music worked better for language arts type homework, while TV was better for math. (Of course, that was also in the days when TV was just whatever happened to be on, so half the time it wasn't like the shows were all that riveting. It might be harder now that you can actually pick something good to watch.) I don't think my parents even realized I did my homework in front of the guest room TV every night. To this day, I cannot drive without music on, as I get 100% distracted unless there is something to distract me 25%, if that makes sense. My other trick was taking copious notes, that I would then annotate during class discussion. It forced me to stay focused. (And everyone wanted to borrow them to study for tests!).

11:51, with regard to math and TV, were you actually watching TV from time to time, or just listening to language?