Life Lesson: MILs that dont drive

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
?

My mother does not drive, has a chronic illness which impedes her mobility and the Atlantic ocean is between us.

We all have our reasons for doing what we do.

?
So what do you do?
Are you getting her a family greencard and moving her into your house to care for her for 10-30 years?
You clearly didn't stay in her neighborhood your whole life to watch over things like OP has had to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
But OP, you do realize that this Life. You are continually bound by different restrictions that vary as you go through life, some which you may have foreseen (but perhaps didn't), and others that you couldn't possibly have foreseen.

So just accept that Life throws stuff at you and make do with what you have.

Not OP, but the stuff that we must deal with that Life throws at us tends to involve people who are dependents (children) and things on which we are dependent (a paycheck). I have a friend whose DD has a severe disability and who will require support for life. That is something Life threw at my friend and her DH, agreed.

But a MIL? None of us signs up to have our parents dependent on us in the way that OP describes, particularly when they are adults capable of taking care of certain necessary tasks themselves. (I would put driving in that category if OP's MIL does not have easy access to public transportation.)

I would be angry and bitter, myself.

I see your point but I also kind of disagree. For most of human history and in most all cultures, elderly relatives ARE seen as dependents on a family, in increasing degree as they age of course since they are adults too its not the same as having children but its not totally the opposite either. I personally like the idea of a society where taking care of the oldest and the youngest is just something everyone in the middle does. I think its probably healthiest for families too- fosters inter-generational bonds and also might take away some of the hyper-focus on child rearing (since they are your only concern) which isn't necessarily doing each generation any favors. Eventually a corporate culture would catch up too, I would hope. As it is in more collectivist societies.

In human history and other countries/cultures, how have they handled the significantly increased life expectancy and lower quality life of elderly years (i.e. 80-100 yo elderly)?
In the U.S. times are different. The 45 yo young grandma is not helping out with grandkids. She is a grandma at age 65 or 70, and then needing assisted care 10-20 years later.
People aren't living until age 60 like in some countries, they do alright until serious heart, disease, physical problems hit and then need costly 24/7 care. Do you quit your job to take care of 1 or 2 sets of elderly grandparents? Hopefully your own kids are older and don't need you as much....