Divorcing a spouse with a chronic illness

[Anonymous]

OP: any chance your wife is blonde?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP this has been studied. Men are more likely to leave women in this situation than women are to leave men.

http://psychcentral.com/news/2009/11/11/men-more-likely-to-abandon-partner-during-illness/9479.html

Interesting. My uncle took care of his aunt with Alzheimer's for about five years. Then took care of his wife who just died from dementia-related issues. He'd nursed her for years. She was mean because of the dementia but he never wavered. I admire him A lot. I admire him more after reading that.

[Anonymous]

Do you mean a situation where you divorce a person just because they are diagnosed with a serious/chronic health issue and you cannot deal with it so you run?

Or you are already having issues and are about to divorce/separate, then that person ends up being diagnosed with something and then you feel obligated to stay out of fear of looking like a jerk or out of guilt?

Those would be two different situations.....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:From the earlier linked article:

A new study examines the role gender plays in partner abandonment after the diagnosis of a serious illness.

According to researchers, a woman is six times more likely to be separated or divorced soon after a diagnosis of cancer or multiple sclerosis than if a man in the relationship is the patient.

Jesus, guys, your sex is not looking too good. I had no idea the disparity was so stark.

There may be a reason for this that most are not considering.

I was diagnosed with an acute, incurable illness in my early 40s. Debilitating that kept me mostly bed ridden with constant nausea among other effects. An illness that often resulted in death. My wife took good care of me in helping with the most basic of assistance. I did not expect her to take care of me the rest of my life if I survived. I loved her. I often thought of divorcing her so that she could continue to live because she was much too young to be straddled with my constant care. I did not want to rob her of her remaining life. That would've been much more selfish than I'm capable of. It's quite possible that more women than men have the same perspective. Divorce the husband so that he can be free to live. Out of Love.

My story had a happy ending. After almost 2.5 yrs of being bedridden and feeling like crap all the time with an incurable illness, I made a conscience decision to stop the medication that was supposedly keeping me alive. Amazing thing happened. I began to get better. In another 6 mths or so, I became mobile again and continued to get better. Turns out the Doctors diagnosis was incorrect. That was 15 yrs ago. I'm happily married to the same woman and will gladly take care of her for the rest of her life should she become ill, as she was doing for me.
Divorce because of an illness would be low life, unless out of love for the caring spouse. Divorce for other reasons are acceptable IMHO.

I hope you sued the living s*** out of them.

I hope any time you make the smallest misjudgment in your career that somebody sues you. You have no idea what the full story is here. Get over yourself.

I'm the poster you're quoting. You get over yourself. You obviously have never been almost killed by a misdiagnosis. I have, and I have the utmost simpathy for the PP who also was. This is not some slight misjudgement, this is fucking with a person's life. You bet your last red cent I'd have sued if I could have afforded a lawyer, when it happened to me. People who do that kind of mistake don't deserve to be practising medicine.

[Anonymous]

There's no basis for a lawsuit here, you're alive & well. you would have spent a lot of money and come up dry. You're better off moving on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know that society will probably look down on it, But are there any circumstances where it is okay to do for the mouse with a chronic illness such as MS or something like that. Or do you just stick it out with the person for ever and considerate your cross to bear?

Ironic auto-correct.