DW is not interested in me - Need advice

[Anonymous]

I agree with hit the gym. Change up your clothes. Get a life outside of your home. Hang with friends. New cologne. Above all else, be self assured.

If you're always the one to get home first, change it up sometimes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wife here too. Wish the attraction would come back. Hard when he's 240 lbs and I'm 120 lbs. He knows and does nothing.

240 means nothing. it coud mean he's ripped as fuck like lebron

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Try lining up a sitter and planning a series of fun dates culminating in a romantic weekend away - mind you, ithe dates have to be things *she'd* like to do - and see what happens, if anything. Also scan the news for any topics that you know she'd find interesting. Either email them to her or print them out and show her. That might get the conversational ball rolling again. She needs to see you putting effort get in.

Disagree. If she lost the attraction she will think these are gimmicks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wife here too. Wish the attraction would come back. Hard when he's 240 lbs and I'm 120 lbs. He knows and does nothing.

I'm a very fit 150 (same as college when we dated) ... she is now about 160 (up 35 pounds at least).
Sucks to be in a basically decent marriage to a spouse who has "given up", gained lots of weight and is no longer attractive to you.
Oh and her sex drive is completely gone too, which means I am stuck chasing a fatty for sex.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Try lining up a sitter and planning a series of fun dates culminating in a romantic weekend away - mind you, ithe dates have to be things *she'd* like to do - and see what happens, if anything. Also scan the news for any topics that you know she'd find interesting. Either email them to her or print them out and show her. That might get the conversational ball rolling again. She needs to see you putting effort get in.

That works if the underlying attraction is there. If not, then date night is just a burden on her - probably make her tense and unhappy.

[Anonymous]

OP, the single thing that will start to improve this for you is to start lifting weights and working out hard. Either that will wake up her attraction to you, or you will be better positioned when you need to pull the plug because it's just not there for her anymore. Every time you feel weakness, or anger, or self-pity, pump more iron.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wife here too. Wish the attraction would come back. Hard when he's 240 lbs and I'm 120 lbs. He knows and does nothing.

I'm a very fit 150 (same as college when we dated) ... she is now about 160 (up 35 pounds at least).
Sucks to be in a basically decent marriage to a spouse who has "given up", gained lots of weight and is no longer attractive to you.
Oh and her sex drive is completely gone too, which means I am stuck chasing a fatty for sex.

I was in your boat (female though)....I caved and got a FwB....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wife here too. Wish the attraction would come back. Hard when he's 240 lbs and I'm 120 lbs. He knows and does nothing.

I'm a very fit 150 (same as college when we dated) ... she is now about 160 (up 35 pounds at least).
Sucks to be in a basically decent marriage to a spouse who has "given up", gained lots of weight and is no longer attractive to you.
Oh and her sex drive is completely gone too, which means I am stuck chasing a fatty for sex.

I was in your boat (female though)....I caved and got a FwB....

M

I also caved and got a FWB.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:bro you gotta be more alpha. Read what Incognita wrote. She got her tingles back when her husband became more alpha.

Forget what your wife thinks. Hit the gym, flirt with other women right in front of her, do whatever you want to do when you want to do it.

Hell if you read this board often enough you see how many women 'give passes' to their DH stepping out of the marriage. I would venture that half of them get turned on in their hind brain that their husband is wanted by other women.

Get your testosterone levels check out too. You might need a supplement.

Just go real heavy compound lifts which will get more testosterone flowing, don't masturbate, and openly flirt with women to get your confidence back. And trust me, your wife will be wanting you more than ever when that happens.

Cannot agree more. When I hit my mid 30s, my T level dropped significantly. Go to a specialist and have them tested. Hit the gym, flirt with chicks, hell go to Vegas for a guys weekend and get your bone worked. Just forget about how she's acting and take care of #1. If she comes around (which she likely will) great, if not, find a girlfriend.

Wow. You've been reading too many red pill blogs.

The OP is a good guy, so he's unlikely to follow your d-bag advice. Also, he's a great dad so he's not likely to mess with anything that could affect his relationship with his children.

OP, women are fickle bitches. I am sorry you are dealing with this. Try to pull back emotionally, agree with others not to be needy. Find a hobby that takes you out of the house, focus on your kids. She can't fall back in love with you if you are staring at her. A watched pot never boils.

Im the poster that told OP to be more alpha.

I do not fully agree with the poster that responded to me. No need to go to vegas to get some play. However, a little light flirting with other women doesn't hurt and will help boost OP's confidence and self esteem.

OP needs to put his kids first, then himself, and the wife will come around. OP should pretend he is single again in that he needs to work to maximize his 'inner game' and attractiveness. Work out, update your style, always be flirting and checking out other women - demonstrate higher value and make your wife feel like she's the one that has more to lose by not being attentive and loving to your needs.

This doesn't mean that you cheat or 'get your bone worked' - this just means behaving in a way that lets your wife know - look, I have options, and right now you are not doing it for me. that'll light a fire under her ass.

Woman here and I could not agree more!!!! My husband list 80lbs. He hit the gym hard. He bought new clothes. He found his swagger. Women noticed. It was crazy the difference in how women treat him. I can spot their flirtatious body language with him across the room.

It did light a fire under my ass. Sex went from 3xs a month to 4xs a week. I know for an absoulte fact that if we got divorced, he'd find anot her woman very quickly. I like being married to a desirable man. It's a huge turn on. I also like the fact that he's not my little bitch.

[Anonymous]

+1000

I am doing the same right now with DW. I am not overweight but determined by summer to get cut.
Three women at work have said is there something different about you.

I said nope but deep down wanted to say you am bringing my sexy back and get in line if my DW fumbles.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:bro you gotta be more alpha. Read what Incognita wrote. She got her tingles back when her husband became more alpha.

Forget what your wife thinks. Hit the gym, flirt with other women right in front of her, do whatever you want to do when you want to do it.

Hell if you read this board often enough you see how many women 'give passes' to their DH stepping out of the marriage. I would venture that half of them get turned on in their hind brain that their husband is wanted by other women.

Get your testosterone levels check out too. You might need a supplement.

Just go real heavy compound lifts which will get more testosterone flowing, don't masturbate, and openly flirt with women to get your confidence back. And trust me, your wife will be wanting you more than ever when that happens.

Cannot agree more. When I hit my mid 30s, my T level dropped significantly. Go to a specialist and have them tested. Hit the gym, flirt with chicks, hell go to Vegas for a guys weekend and get your bone worked. Just forget about how she's acting and take care of #1. If she comes around (which she likely will) great, if not, find a girlfriend.

Wow. You've been reading too many red pill blogs.

The OP is a good guy, so he's unlikely to follow your d-bag advice. Also, he's a great dad so he's not likely to mess with anything that could affect his relationship with his children.

OP, women are fickle bitches. I am sorry you are dealing with this. Try to pull back emotionally, agree with others not to be needy. Find a hobby that takes you out of the house, focus on your kids. She can't fall back in love with you if you are staring at her. A watched pot never boils.

Im the poster that told OP to be more alpha.

I do not fully agree with the poster that responded to me. No need to go to vegas to get some play. However, a little light flirting with other women doesn't hurt and will help boost OP's confidence and self esteem.

OP needs to put his kids first, then himself, and the wife will come around. OP should pretend he is single again in that he needs to work to maximize his 'inner game' and attractiveness. Work out, update your style, always be flirting and checking out other women - demonstrate higher value and make your wife feel like she's the one that has more to lose by not being attentive and loving to your needs.

This doesn't mean that you cheat or 'get your bone worked' - this just means behaving in a way that lets your wife know - look, I have options, and right now you are not doing it for me. that'll light a fire under her ass.

Woman here and I could not agree more!!!! My husband list 80lbs. He hit the gym hard. He bought new clothes. He found his swagger. Women noticed. It was crazy the difference in how women treat him. I can spot their flirtatious body language with him across the room.

It did light a fire under my ass. Sex went from 3xs a month to 4xs a week. I know for an absoulte fact that if we got divorced, he'd find anot her woman very quickly. I like being married to a desirable man. It's a huge turn on. I also like the fact that he's not my little bitch.