How do you feel about being an older Dad?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:50 is old for a dude to be having a baby. Being well-past retirement and earning social security benefits while your child is in HS is bizarre.

No, it's not.

My husband and I both work FT - great retirement, fantastic health benefits, long-term health care, investments.

We have two small kids - 10 and 6. He'll be retiring soon, which means he'll earn about 60% of his current salary, which is a good chunk of change. He will be home to send the kids to school. He'll be meeting them at the bus stop. He'll be home during the summer - as will I b/c I'm a teacher.

Once he retires, we'll use my benefits package to cover the kids.

It's completely a win-win, as financially we're set. Furthermore, and more importantly, our kids have parents who are around - and will be for a long time b/c we're both healthy.

I didn't get married and have kids to be living from paycheck to paycheck, which is what destroys most marriages.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm 41, and I'd give anything to be a dad. We met too late it seems, and medicine wasn't able to help (tried for 4+ years).

Don't listen to the naysayers. Congratulations.

41 is not too old to become a father and hopefully you and your DW will consider adoption. There a lots of kids out there who would do anything for a father, regardless of his age.

I am a father whose one and only was adopted when I was 41 (we tried for 4+years also). You could not love a child more than I do. You do have options so please don't throw in the towel.

[Anonymous]

I understand that one can't generalize -- however, my kids are now young adults (I'm in my mid- 50's), and in a couple of cases, it is worrisome to me to see folks in their 50's with school-age children, because in one case, the couple just seems really tired (with a high-schooler who has a serious mental health problem) and in another, one parent has developed a serious health problem. No, you can't predict, but the odds are different. I stay out late on occasion, but I'm glad I'm not doing those late-night bar/bat mitzvah pickups -- you still need to be able to supervise teens.

[Anonymous]

My Dad had me at 23; he died at 50, there are no guarantees just love your kids as much as you can, that is what they remember, not age

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My dad had me when he was 43.

He's 79 now, and Im in my mid-30s and his health is declining rapidly.

Makes me sad we wont be around to see my DC grow up. I still want another and it pains me to think he may never meet him/her!!

So, I speak from a sad daughter here. ;-/

Yes, but for every story like this, there is my story. My dad had me when he was 42. I am now 50 and he is 92 and in very good health -- excellent, actually, considering his age.

[Anonymous]

Seriously, lady, wtf do you care when you see "older" parents?

I'm in my late 40s with two young kids and am healthier now than I was in my 20s.

Women like you drive me mad. You have nothing better to do than to scrutinize the lives of others b/c you're bored and pathetic.

Go enjoy some Manischewitz wine and take a hike.

Anonymous wrote:I understand that one can't generalize -- however, my kids are now young adults (I'm in my mid- 50's), and in a couple of cases, it is worrisome to me to see folks in their 50's with school-age children, because in one case, the couple just seems really tired (with a high-schooler who has a serious mental health problem) and in another, one parent has developed a serious health problem. No, you can't predict, but the odds are different. I stay out late on occasion, but I'm glad I'm not doing those late-night bar/bat mitzvah pickups -- you still need to be able to supervise teens.

[Anonymous]

You sound angry and sexist pp...just like older men always do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You sound angry and sexist pp...just like older men always do.

so do you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You sound angry and sexist pp...just like older men always do.

Are you referring to me?
11:13?

I am a female.

And yes, women like the PP drive me mad bc their worlds are so very small.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:gross pp. He will be 74 when your kid graduates from h.s.

Again, why "gross?"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My dad died when I was a kid, and I'd give anything to have him around, at any age-- I wouldn't care if he were 70 today, or 95, it doesn't matter! A dad is a dad. It's not selfish to have children-- it's selfless.

Having children is completely selfish but that's okay. You don't need to justify it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My dad died when I was a kid, and I'd give anything to have him around, at any age-- I wouldn't care if he were 70 today, or 95, it doesn't matter! A dad is a dad. It's not selfish to have children-- it's selfless.

Having children is completely selfish but that's okay. You don't need to justify it.

If everyone lived by your rules, the human race would have died out a long time ago. And the world would have been denied you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My dad died when I was a kid, and I'd give anything to have him around, at any age-- I wouldn't care if he were 70 today, or 95, it doesn't matter! A dad is a dad. It's not selfish to have children-- it's selfless.

Having children is completely selfish but that's okay. You don't need to justify it.

Are you barren and bitter?

[Anonymous]

Reading this thread made me so sad. My DH is 43 and we really, really want another baby. But..seeing how kids feel about having older parents once they get into high school, get married, have kids, etc really puts things in perspective.

We feel so young, but when you realize how old you'll be when your kid graduates from college...

[Anonymous]

yes pp...you are right

[Anonymous]

My DH lobbied fiercely for a third when he was 44 and I was 37. We had an 8 and a 5 year old. We went for it. After all, you have your siblings as well for support as you grow older.

We are now 65 and 58. No regrets! The only thing I would say is that it is harder to get up at 2:30 a.m. to go pick up your son at the police station when you are 62 than it was to pick up your daughter at the same place when you were 52.

Live your life - have your children, and enjoy them!