How do you feel about being an older Dad?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My dad had me when he was 43.

He's 79 now, and Im in my mid-30s and his health is declining rapidly.

Makes me sad we wont be around to see my DC grow up. I still want another and it pains me to think he may never meet him/her!!

So, I speak from a sad daughter here. ;-/

Yes, but if your choice was to have your life the way it played out or never to have been born, which would you have chosen? Would you rather they had chosen not to have you?

I was 46 when my twins were born and am 49 now. I'm in better shape than a lot of my friends and the parents of my children's friends, even though some of them are 15 years younger.

My parents immigrated to America and met in the US. Three of my grandparents were killed by the Communist revolution in China. The fourth was severely crippled. Of 6 grandchildren in Taiwan and three of us in the US, I'm the only one of the 9 grandchildren born out of mainland China who met my remaining grandmother. She knew the 5 grandchildren born in mainland China. She was 89 and paralyzed from the neck down when I met her at the age of 13. It was the first time she had seen my mother in 40 years and she died six months after our visit. So I really didn't know my grandparents. While it was sad, I would much rather have been born and had my older parents than to have not been born at all. And I would still rather have had the life I have lived, including not knowing my grandparents. that not to have been born at all.

So, while it may be nicer to have younger parents than older parents, it is better to have older parents than not to have been conceived at all.

[Anonymous]

I don't understand what's "gross" about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My grandfather had my dad when he was 50 and his wife was 42. Dad was a oops baby, the youngest of five and his siblings were already adults when he was born. His father was killed when my dad was 8 when war broke out.

My dad is still glad that he was born even if his father was old.

I'll raise you one. DH was 56 when DS was born. I assume people judge, because that's what people do no matter what

[Anonymous]

gross pp. He will be 74 when your kid graduates from h.s.

[Anonymous]

My DH will be 44 when our baby is born. This was all a matter of circumstance, not choice. Got married in his 30s, ex wife decided she didn't want kids anymore, got divorced, we met, got married, TTC took longer than we thought because I kept having miscarriages. Things just don't work out easily for some people. His own father had him in his 50's by choice and while he's sad he didn't get to spend as much time with his father as most, he certainly doesn't regret being born and had a happy childhood. I am not worried and neither is he!

[Anonymous]

Hey, the late Ben Bradlee has his youngest at 61, and lived to be 93.

[Anonymous]

Being an older parent in this area, as I am, is no big deal. At 53 with teens, I am very rarely the oldest parent at school functions or sports. I am also quite active with my kids. The downside will come later but as someone else said, my dad died when he was 51 so there are no guarantees of enjoying life later with kdis regardless of your age.

[Anonymous]

It's not an advantage, but it's not a disadvantage either. Kids aways think parents are old so an extra decade makes no difference on that score. An older father who would not play catch or toss a football with their sons would not have done it at age 30 either.

Age should actually make a father more patient and give him a more panoramic view of life allowing him to relize a "D" in geometry may not doom ones child to a life of desperation and misery.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:gross pp. He will be 74 when your kid graduates from h.s.

So what? You need to find a more productive way to apply your math skills.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's not an advantage, but it's not a disadvantage either. Kids aways think parents are old so an extra decade makes no difference on that score. An older father who would not play catch or toss a football with their sons would not have done it at age 30 either.

Age should actually make a father more patient and give him a more panoramic view of life allowing him to relize a "D" in geometry may not doom ones child to a life of desperation and misery.

You are absolutely right. I'm a 52 yo old with grammar school age kids and always play with them, take them skiing, play catch, etc. That's not a function of age--it's whether you care enough to engage them and spend time with them, at any age. And you do take the high level view of things. Frankly I am always amazed at how uptight the younger parents get over the most minor stuff. Probably because they haven't distanced themselves from their own childhoods yet.

[Anonymous]

My dad was 22 and my mom was 17, when my oldest sibling was born. He was 28, mom was 24 when the youngest was born.

It was wonderful for us because we did not have to care for them until we were in our 40s - 50s.

DH and I had our youngest at 40. My mom has been able to help all of us with our children because she is in very good health.

I hope I can be healthy for the next 20 years. I know I will miss out on some stuff with my kids and will not enjoy my grandkids like my mom did.

On the other hand - people are deferring getting married and having kids because of the pressure of education and career. My mom and dad were of a generation where early marriage and having kids early was the norm. Now, they will be seen as children having children.

I think as long as one is healthy and happy, having kids at 40, 50 is no big deal.

Better an engaged older father than a deadbeat teen dad.

[Anonymous]

Another advise is do not dress poorly.

My older daddy often dressed poorly bc he didn't care anymore. So not only he was the oldest daddy but also the poorest dressed daddy. I was pretty embarrassed when he showed up in school occasionally.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My dad had me when he was 43.

He's 79 now, and Im in my mid-30s and his health is declining rapidly.

Makes me sad we wont be around to see my DC grow up. I still want another and it pains me to think he may never meet him/her!!

So, I speak from a sad daughter here. ;-/

My dad had me at 48. It's sad that he never got to see me married or with a child, but considering the only other option is that I would never have been born, I'll just be grateful that I had a wonderful dad for as many years as I had him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My grandfather had my dad when he was 50 and his wife was 42. Dad was a oops baby, the youngest of five and his siblings were already adults when he was born. His father was killed when my dad was 8 when war broke out.

My dad is still glad that he was born even if his father was old.

Exactly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it is selfish and gross. My dad was 50 when I was born. We had 8 kids in the family. My dad was 42 when my first sibling was born. I say tie it up if you don't use it young. You don't want a dad who is so old when you're a kid. People are fooling themselves if they think it is ok.

So you'd rather not have been born at all?