disliking in-laws who aren't all that dislike-able

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow. Some selfish women here. Do you not care that your attitude toward your inlays hurts your spouse? Having my children marry someone like this group terrifies me. Life isn't always about you.

What's important is to raise your son to realize it is his responsibility to maintain an ongoing relationship with you and your husband. It is not his spouses responsibility.

but as his spouse it is my duty AND desire to encourage it and do my part to help make it happen if possible, even if it means that it occassionally takes me out of my comfort zone.

I'm not saying the spouse should hinder or block the relationship, but your son owns the relationship with his parents. It is his responsibility to nurture and grow the relationship. It is not the responsibility of the spouse. So frequently men get married and think, great, now my wife can do this or that and they stop being active participants.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow. Some selfish women here. Do you not care that your attitude toward your inlays hurts your spouse? Having my children marry someone like this group terrifies me. Life isn't always about you.

What's important is to raise your son to realize it is his responsibility to maintain an ongoing relationship with you and your husband. It is not his spouses responsibility.

but as his spouse it is my duty AND desire to encourage it and do my part to help make it happen if possible, even if it means that it occassionally takes me out of my comfort zone.

More power to you. Just don't expect everyone - especially your DIL - to think they have a duty to do so. I certainly don't.

[Anonymous]

this is an interesting thread.

after many years of dating, wedding planning brought to light a very negative side to my mil. it was brought to my attention that she had been playing nice around me for all these years, but finally let her guard down once we got engaged and i saw her true colors. it's difficult to brush aside the things she said and did and return to my former positive feelings for mil. on her face she's a very sympathetic character. but once you get to know her...

i often feel badly for my dh bc he knows my opinion of her changed and is unlikely to change back for the better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I think it would be very reasonable to say, "Phyllis, I'm glad you enjoy our neighbors so much. Would it be possible for you to refrain from discussing personal details much as my recent health scare? These are topics I prefer to keep to close family only."

Or something similar. I would be v upset at this privacy violation, no matter how "nice" IL's are otherwise

NP here. Lawd, don't get me started. I feed MIL the wrong information, because I know she is thirsty for gossip. Everyone wins!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow. Some selfish women here. Do you not care that your attitude toward your inlays hurts your spouse? Having my children marry someone like this group terrifies me. Life isn't always about you.

What's important is to raise your son to realize it is his responsibility to maintain an ongoing relationship with you and your husband. It is not his spouses responsibility.

but as his spouse it is my duty AND desire to encourage it and do my part to help make it happen if possible, even if it means that it occassionally takes me out of my comfort zone.

no it's not. your spouse is a big boy. he managed a relationship with his parents for many years before meeting you.