Faithful men and women

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't especially like my husband and he's not especially good to me. We haven't had sex since I got pregnant with our now 4-year old. He developed a medical condition that makes sex barely possible. I practice self-satisfaction. I stayed friends with an old flame who would jump at the barest hint that I would like an affair. Yet I don't cheat, I simply can't. I just sit here stewing in misery. Wish I could cheat.

My husband and I are also just not the cheating types (husband even more than me - I'd be up for opening the marriage up a little, I think; he's dead set against). But in a circumstance like this - I think I'd have to look outside the marriage. I feel like if monogamy is happy-making, then it's great; in this circumstance, it sounds miserable.

Sorry, PP. Hope that something turns around.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't especially like my husband and he's not especially good to me. We haven't had sex since I got pregnant with our now 4-year old. He developed a medical condition that makes sex barely possible. I practice self-satisfaction. I stayed friends with an old flame who would jump at the barest hint that I would like an affair. Yet I don't cheat, I simply can't. I just sit here stewing in misery. Wish I could cheat.

My husband and I are also just not the cheating types (husband even more than me - I'd be up for opening the marriage up a little, I think; he's dead set against). But in a circumstance like this - I think I'd have to look outside the marriage. I feel like if monogamy is happy-making, then it's great; in this circumstance, it sounds miserable.

Sorry, PP. Hope that something turns around.

So you've asked your husband about this? Problem is, finding another sex partner is 10,000 times easier for a woman.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:^^ some things are more important than sex. But just admit it , sex in its best most satisfying beauty is over.. Dead .. A huge loss. It cannot even be spoken of in such honest terms among married people since the truth damages the facade of what people hope a marriage can be. Weirdness, secrecy of loss , dissapointment and knowing that sex at its best is completely over at 30-35 is the price of monogamy . And honest discussion between partners could ruin the marriage.

The best sex I had was my late 30s, early 40s, but granted, it was not with my spouse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you think the real beauty of sex is all about feeling non-stop tempestuous, ripping your clothes off, 24/7 passion, then please do not marry or get into a monogamous long-term relationship. No one and nothing can live up to your Harlequin fantasy.

People, no matter how passionately matched, are never fully in synch every day. Sometimes one is tired or sick or busy. When you are single, you don't expect to have fabulous sex every time you want it---you have to find a willing partner first.

After 20 years and a lot of rough spots, sex still feels new and exciting and intensely passionate and satisfying with my husband. But then we're intense and passionate people to begin with, and we pay the price emotionally.

It's hard when only one spouse is intense and passionate.

[Anonymous]

Yes, that is why you try and match yourself with someone of equal intensity, if that is important to you. I learned that the hard way. I'm intense and passionate, and my ex was not. He was everything else wonderful, yet it wasn't enough. Now I'm with someone who is a worse person in almost every way, but has the passion I need.

[Anonymous]

I have never been married, but I have had four relatively long lived relationships since i was about 18. I was only "pretty faithful" in the first three and i cheated as way of putting more distance between myself and my partner, only after i felt beaten down in the relationship, and i needed the confirmation of a man that casual outside the relationship sex gave me. I met my current partner in 1997 and have never cheated or even entertained a desire to be unfaithful to him. That is simply because i feel completely secure in this relationship and because, even though he can see right through me, he accepts the things about me that i don't. We never made any vows of fidelity, and I don't feel committed to being faithful. I just lack a reason to be unfaithful. The fact that we are sexually compatible doesn't hurt, either.

[Anonymous]

[Anonymous]

PP, step away from the comics. Step Away From the Comics.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Faithfull men and women, I want to hear from you. How long have to been married, how is your relationship with you significant other, what advice can you give others. What does your spouse do that make you stay faithful. It seems that most of the topics I hear here are about cheating men or women, people trying to hook up while they are married, hiding pictures of girlfriends etc... I know there are real men out there that love their wives and families, I want to hear from you, so that we all know that there is still hope to find a nice respectful faithful man, as well as woman. Thank you.

Married 11 years, together for 12. We have a great marriage, we're truly friends, have a laugh together, enjoy similar things sexually. My advice is to commit to not playing games. Too many women feel the need to one-up their partner all.the.time., always having to have it their way - see it on this board all the time, my way is right, his way is wrong- and too many men are simply looking to see how little they can contribute and still consider themselves part of a marriage. Communicate. Realize you are not always right and that's okay. Understand that this person you are with is a fully-realized human being with wants, fear, and failings of his or her own. Appreciate and compliment the positives. Be silly with each other. Let the other win sometimes. Be a grown-up.

[Anonymous]

This is good to read. All we read about on here are ways to cheat, he/she cheated so what to do, etc.

Like some pps, cheating to me is part of moral character and I could never do it, no matter how good looking or persistent the guy is. I have no hesitancy about divorcing first if I ever wanted to step out but I have always been a monogamous person so there is that.