Faithful men and women

[Anonymous]

Faithfull men and women, I want to hear from you. How long have to been married, how is your relationship with you significant other, what advice can you give others. What does your spouse do that make you stay faithful. It seems that most of the topics I hear here are about cheating men or women, people trying to hook up while they are married, hiding pictures of girlfriends etc... I know there are real men out there that love their wives and families, I want to hear from you, so that we all know that there is still hope to find a nice respectful faithful man, as well as woman. Thank you.

[Anonymous]

Faithful woman here. Married 22 years. Never considered cheating even when relationship was kind of sucky. Husband cheated, though, so I left.

I think that your moral code is a stronger factor in whether you cheat than any specific actions or absence of action from your spouse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Faithful woman here. Married 22 years. Never considered cheating even when relationship was kind of sucky. Husband cheated, though, so I left.

I think that your moral code is a stronger factor in whether you cheat than any specific actions or absence of action from your spouse.

This is what I was going to say. But PP said it better.

You either value an honest and respectful approach to other humans, or you don't.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Faithful woman here. Married 22 years. Never considered cheating even when relationship was kind of sucky. Husband cheated, though, so I left.

I think that your moral code is a stronger factor in whether you cheat than any specific actions or absence of action from your spouse.

This is what I was going to say. But PP said it better.

You either value an honest and respectful approach to other humans, or you don't.

That is true and you also have to know yourself. I've been married to DW for 26 yrs. this Aug., faithful. May have thought about a lark and DW has even suggested a discrete one would be OK for me though I know that's not true (we have been completely out of sync physically for some time and it bugs the hell out of me). But I know me, given the risks of STDs and other sideshow issues, the physical side is not enough for me to stray. If I ever do, I will know that we are done but I still want to be with DW, though she knows that status quo cannot go on indefinitely so she, too, has to decide what she wants (I have no indication DW has been unfaithful and I am pretty sure I'd know....).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Faithful woman here. Married 22 years. Never considered cheating even when relationship was kind of sucky. Husband cheated, though, so I left.

I think that your moral code is a stronger factor in whether you cheat than any specific actions or absence of action from your spouse.

This is what I was going to say. But PP said it better.

You either value an honest and respectful approach to other humans, or you don't.

That is true and you also have to know yourself. I've been married to DW for 26 yrs. this Aug., faithful. May have thought about a lark and DW has even suggested a discrete one would be OK for me though I know that's not true (we have been completely out of sync physically for some time and it bugs the hell out of me). But I know me, given the risks of STDs and other sideshow issues, the physical side is not enough for me to stray. If I ever do, I will know that we are done but I still want to be with DW, though she knows that status quo cannot go on indefinitely so she, too, has to decide what she wants (I have no indication DW has been unfaithful and I am pretty sure I'd know....).

p.s. part of equation is that after knowing DW for 34 yrs I am still totally hot for her bod ...

[Anonymous]

18 years together. Not sure DW "does" anything to keep me faithful. It's just who I am. I'm an inveterate rule follower - really took to heart the "cheaters never win" adage as a kid. (Even though evidence is abundant that cheaters, in fact, do win.)

[Anonymous]

Agree, it is part of who you are. When I was a single gal I was not ever attracted to married men. It is a very binary thing for me. Married equaled yuck. Now that I am married the binary thing turned off for all other men. I just can't look at them in that way because I am married to my husband. I guess I am very lucky that way! Plus my husband is amazing, of course

[Anonymous]

I came from a broken home and had a crappy childhood. I got married to the type of person who wants what I want out if life- a strong family bond, happy children, a long life together. I dated enough before my DH to know that there is nothing out there worth throwing away a happy life together for. I also dated a cheater before DH. He had a different moral compass than I did. A cheater just brings out the worst in you- jealousy, lack of trust, misery. Being with someone who values being faithful brings out the best in you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Faithful woman here. Married 22 years. Never considered cheating even when relationship was kind of sucky. Husband cheated, though, so I left.

I think that your moral code is a stronger factor in whether you cheat than any specific actions or absence of action from your spouse.

+1 He cheated; I've never even considered it. I don't do it because it's wrong; it's not what he does or did or didn't do.

[Anonymous]

We've been together for 10 years, married for five. Despite the fact that she only had one serious boyfriend before me and doesn't have much experience, she is an excellent flirt to me. She is very good at making me feel special. I told her two months ago I wanted to see a movie that's coming out next week - she lined up a babysitter this morning and made reservations at a restaurant I like for after the movie. She does things like this ALL the time. Her face lights up when she sees me - huge ego boost. When I had a big presentation at work she not only made me breakfast that morning (getting up an hour earlier than she normally does) but she taught the 3 yr old a cheer and they performed it for me on my way out the door. A freaking cheer! When I was taking my bar exam she arranged for me to get a massage at the start of it and the end of it.

I would never cheat on her. I hit the jackpot.

[Anonymous]

So tired of people thinking that an affair is the betrayed spouse's fault in any way. Cheaters cheat because they have a hole in their character where integrity should be. They are utterly selfish.

Haven't cheated. Married 16 years, together more than 20. What keeps me faithful? My strong moral code.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So tired of people thinking that an affair is the betrayed spouse's fault in any way. Cheaters cheat because they have a hole in their character where integrity should be. They are utterly selfish.

Haven't cheated. Married 16 years, together more than 20. What keeps me faithful? My strong moral code.

+100

Found out after 19 years I'm with someone without one.

[Anonymous]

I don't especially like my husband and he's not especially good to me. We haven't had sex since I got pregnant with our now 4-year old. He developed a medical condition that makes sex barely possible. I practice self-satisfaction. I stayed friends with an old flame who would jump at the barest hint that I would like an affair. Yet I don't cheat, I simply can't. I just sit here stewing in misery. Wish I could cheat.

[Anonymous]

Married 7 yrs. wouldn't dream of it. Ex tries to reach out periodically via social media. I never respond. I feel like that is breaking dhs trust. I agree it's your own moral code. DH and u have been thru a lot in our yrs together but I'm pretty sure we are committed to each other and our children. At the end of the day I honestly feel a sense of peace and happiness when I see him and the children. I love my family and wouldn't risk losing them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:18 years together. Not sure DW "does" anything to keep me faithful. It's just who I am. I'm an inveterate rule follower - really took to heart the "cheaters never win" adage as a kid. (Even though evidence is abundant that cheaters, in fact, do win.)

Same. 18 yrs together. Man. Had opportunities but at my core I'm honest and wouldn't do that to my wife. I assume the same is true for her. We don't talk about it and she doesn't do anything special although I think she's special.