If you died today, how long would it take your spouse to remarry

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would hope never, you marry and choose to be with someone. If they die, you wait to be together in eternal life.

The widow/er should focus on the children, not boning someone,

Said like a person with a very low sex drive or need for adult companionship. Not everyone is as cold as the people on DCUM.

Ah so you admit it's all about sex!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:2 years. The sooner the better if he marries someone who will function like a good mother to my children. They need a mom.

A step mom is not a mom.

You know what I mean. Don't be so difficult.

And don't marry my widowed husband. The kids need more joy in their lives.

I would never have respect for a guy who didn't give a crap about the wife that gave him children. Someone who would so callously move on.
My MIL is 68. She as widowed at 52 and she has never looked at a man since. She focused on the grand kids and has many hobbies.

I think this is really sad. I wouldn't want that for my husband. He is a good man. A loving father. A terrific husband. If he found a woman that could be a good mother to our children and who made him happy, I hope he would marry her. I am confident in my place in his life. He doesn't have to spend the rest of his life idolizing a person who is gone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:2 years. The sooner the better if he marries someone who will function like a good mother to my children. They need a mom.

A step mom is not a mom.

You know what I mean. Don't be so difficult.

And don't marry my widowed husband. The kids need more joy in their lives.

I would never have respect for a guy who didn't give a crap about the wife that gave him children. Someone who would so callously move on.
My MIL is 68. She as widowed at 52 and she has never looked at a man since. She focused on the grand kids and has many hobbies.

+1. I think all this talk about finding new love (right away) and a brand spanking new parent (right away) is disgusting. My father NEVER found his step mother to be a replacement of his mother. All studies have shown that loss of a parent to be THE MOST TRAUMATIC event in a child's life. If you love them, there is no replacement. If you don't love them then there is no family in the first place.

He picked well the first time right? So he'd likely pick well the second time, too. Marriage is about adult companionship, someone to rely on. I watch too many divorced friends struggle with child care and balancing work and kid stuff. Having another adult in the family can be a tremendous help. Marriage also is the easiest to create and maintain wealth, which is certainly in the children's interest. And it's in the children's interest to continue to see a healthy adult relationship modeled for them. None of this speaks ill of a man's first wife and mother of his children. Joe Biden tears up today, decades later, when talking about his first wife who was killed. I think he very much still loves and honors the memory of his first wife. And can still live his current wife and the blended family they've now had for years.

[Anonymous]

Most folks on this thread are clueless about how the death of a spouse can be a cluster. First of all, in younger people deaths tend to be accidental. Those often involve law suits. That means that the first thing your attorney will suggest is that you abstain ftom dating and so on. Second the one man I know who lost his wife to cancer and quickly started looking was surprised to see how women ran away. And he was tall and rich. They were just repulsed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:2 years. The sooner the better if he marries someone who will function like a good mother to my children. They need a mom.

A step mom is not a mom.

You know what I mean. Don't be so difficult.

And don't marry my widowed husband. The kids need more joy in their lives.

I would never have respect for a guy who didn't give a crap about the wife that gave him children. Someone who would so callously move on.
My MIL is 68. She as widowed at 52 and she has never looked at a man since. She focused on the grand kids and has many hobbies.

+1. I think all this talk about finding new love (right away) and a brand spanking new parent (right away) is disgusting. My father NEVER found his step mother to be a replacement of his mother. All studies have shown that loss of a parent to be THE MOST TRAUMATIC event in a child's life. If you love them, there is no replacement. If you don't love them then there is no family in the first place.

He picked well the first time right? So he'd likely pick well the second time, too. Marriage is about adult companionship, someone to rely on. I watch too many divorced friends struggle with child care and balancing work and kid stuff. Having another adult in the family can be a tremendous help. Marriage also is the easiest to create and maintain wealth, which is certainly in the children's interest. And it's in the children's interest to continue to see a healthy adult relationship modeled for them. None of this speaks ill of a man's first wife and mother of his children. Joe Biden tears up today, decades later, when talking about his first wife who was killed. I think he very much still loves and honors the memory of his first wife. And can still live his current wife and the blended family they've now had for years.

I respect him for this. Another example is Theodore Roosevelt. His mother and first wife died on the same day. He remarried and had additional children and by all accounts loved them deeply. Yet, none of them mentioned his first wife to him ever again.