If you died today, how long would it take your spouse to remarry
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Anonymous
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or get into bed with someone else?
Some folks move really fast, often to the dismay and disappointment of blood relatives of the deceased. |
Anonymous
| How can anyone actually answer this question? |
Anonymous
| I have no idea. Everyone deals with grief differently. I have had 2 friends die. One spouse remarried within 2 years (started dating about a year after her death). The other hasn't. The one who has remarried seems much happier/content with his life. Life is for the living and I wish him the best. He was a good husband to my friend and a good husband to his second wife. |
Anonymous
| I would guess within 3 years. |
Anonymous
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I think it would be pretty fast. He's a good looking, financially stable guy and I know he'd have a tough time managing 2 kids by himself.
I'm dead, so it's not like it's disloyal to me. I'd hope he wouldn't expose the kids to a revolving door of women, but other than that I'd want him to move on and for the kids to have a mother-figure in their lives. |
Anonymous
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Curious, OP, about your question. I don't think anyone can know what someone else would do, or even what they themselves would do after death of a spouse. Are you the blood relative upset that your loved one's spouse has recoupled?
If so, what I'd say to you is 1) he fulfilled his vows and 2) maybe the fact that he's seeking love and companionship again is testament to the love he shared with his spouse. He knew how great love could be thanks to her and wants to experience that again. 3) people need people 4) myob. You have no idea, and you should be thankful for that. |
Anonymous
| My husband would be chased by many women who would want my money. He would want someone to help with the kids. The only concern I have is that the motives of these women might be different than what he would understand. That grab for money would definitely be harmful to my kids. |
Anonymous
Why do you assume that OP is asking about a man moving on quickly? I suspect it is because that is typically what we think of.... |
Anonymous
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"Why do you assume that OP is asking about a man moving on quickly? I suspect it is because that is typically what we think of.... "
I know more than a few widows who were in bed with a guy less than 6 months after their husbands died, including me. |
Anonymous
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If I die I do not want my DH to remarry till the time the kids are settled. I do want him to have tons of sex though and he can have multiple girlfriends etc.I have asked him to go to Vegas and party.
If he gets married I will haunt him. He has assured me that covering the entire house with tinfoil will prevent me from seeing what he is up to or haunting him. He also asked me if he could try out Vegas and multiple gfs now...while I am still alive ...so that he can report back to me as how distasteful this is to him. |
Anonymous
In my head I didn't make that assumption... I started typing my answer with he or she and then changed it to one gender because I'm too lazy to write he or she over and over. Though widowers are more likely to remarry and do so sooner than women, ime with young widowed there's not a huge gender gap in dating timeline, it's down to individual circumstances and readiness. To answer OP's question, I waited 1.5 years to date and have sex and am still with that same SO. No intention to remarry. Everyone is different and I have no judgment for those who get it on early on...I just wasn't emotionally ready any earlier for either a relationship or casual sex. |
Anonymous
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I do judge those who move quickly for two reasons:
If they have kids, that behavior can be traumatizing. Except in one case, EVERY other person I know who lost a parent young was traumatized in some way by the new step parent or SO, my father included. The only case where the step mother was acually an improvement was one where the bio mother was terminally ill and trying to raise the kids alone. She was very sick and always throwing up and so on and actually died in front of her kids. They went to live with the father who then married and the step mother was OK. The other reason is that it seems disrespectful, and likely does not alleviate the suffering, assuming that there is any suffering. I ran away from the one man who was out and dating in the same year. On the other hand, I got sick of the another one who could not stop talking about his former wife who he loved so much..... |
Anonymous
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"The other reason is that it seems disrespectful, and likely does not alleviate the suffering, assuming that there is any suffering."
How do you know? |
Anonymous
| Chilren do not recover in a year (or ever). They need their sole surviving parent's undivided attention. Not baby sitters while dad is in Vegas. |
Anonymous
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I imagine he would remarry fairly quickly, easily within 2 years. We're younger, our child is young, he would/does want more children and most men I've known who lost their wives have remarried very quickly.
On the other hand, I am done. I can't see myself ever having interest in putting in the effort to date and build a relationship again. |