people using the R-word

[Anonymous]

People call people stupid or dumb all the time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"Hey Sally...do you realize how ignorant and offensive it is to use that word?"

Why? It is a legitimate word and so will continue to use it when appropriate.

Regard growth
In music, retard is a slavkrni,g of tempo.

You are the ignorant one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Your thinking that "being retarded" (or having an intellectual disability) is something negative is the problem. When people use the term "retarded" to mean "bad" in the presence of people with intellectual disability, this is what they hear. "You are something negative. You are so bad that I use you as an analogy for other bad things. I insult people by comparing them to you."

I find it sad, but sadly not surprising how much the conversation here is about how the family members of people with intellectual disabilities feel. Or how the professionals who support individuals with intellectual disabilities feel about these words. That's irrelevant. The question is, how do people with intellectual disabilities feel when they over hear someone use a core part of their identity as an insult.

I can answer that question from my perspective as a special educator. When my kids come back from the cafeteria, and report that they heard a conversation two tables over, or as they walked through the hallway, they feel as though they don't belong. They feel less than and excluded. Because people only use that word as an insult if they think one of two things. 1) I don't give a fuck if I hurt someone with an intellectual disability or 2) People with intellectual disabilities wouldn't be around me, they don't belong where I am. They belong somewhere else.

When my students are out in public, on a field trip, or as part of an extracurricular activity, and they hear that word, it saps their confidence. It makes it that much harder for them to advocate for themselves.

And before someone replies that they would never use that word when someone with an intellectual disability can hear, I'll point out that some of my students are visibly disabled, and some aren't. You don't know who is around. You don't know who is listening.

Very well said.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"Gay" is different from "retarded." Saying something is gay in a negative way is offensive because there's nothing inherently negative about being gay. However, there IS something inherently negative about being retarded. Yes, I know it sucks for all involved, but it's still the appropriate word in many cases.

Your thinking that "being retarded" (or having an intellectual disability) is something negative is the problem. When people use the term "retarded" to mean "bad" in the presence of people with intellectual disability, this is what they hear. "You are something negative. You are so bad that I use you as an analogy for other bad things. I insult people by comparing them to you."

I find it sad, but sadly not surprising how much the conversation here is about how the family members of people with intellectual disabilities feel. Or how the professionals who support individuals with intellectual disabilities feel about these words. That's irrelevant. The question is, how do people with intellectual disabilities feel when they over hear someone use a core part of their identity as an insult.

I can answer that question from my perspective as a special educator. When my kids come back from the cafeteria, and report that they heard a conversation two tables over, or as they walked through the hallway, they feel as though they don't belong. They feel less than and excluded. Because people only use that word as an insult if they think one of two things. 1) I don't give a fuck if I hurt someone with an intellectual disability or 2) People with intellectual disabilities wouldn't be around me, they don't belong where I am. They belong somewhere else.

When my students are out in public, on a field trip, or as part of an extracurricular activity, and they hear that word, it saps their confidence. It makes it that much harder for them to advocate for themselves.

And before someone replies that they would never use that word when someone with an intellectual disability can hear, I'll point out that some of my students are visibly disabled, and some aren't. You don't know who is around. You don't know who is listening.

+1. Thank you for this eloquent explanation. I'm shocked that so many people use a slur with such ease.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Oh shit. Save it for something really offensive. Like using the C word.[/q

Hey Sally do you realize how perfectly appropriate it is to call Jennifer the "c" word

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Back in the day, retarded and gay were widely used as adjectives. Nowadays there are new words that have replaced them like Down syndrome or homosexual. I would never use those words now, but I do have a nostalgia for them because it was funny back then and everyone is so politically correct and uptight now. What was funny was not making fun of chromosomally challenged people or LGBT folks, but the shock value of using those words was funny. You can be as politically correct as you want, but there is no changing the fact that shocking=funny.

In what context is 'gay' wrong? Faggot is a slur. But gay is not.

[Anonymous]

Op, heed this advice in the grand scheme of your relationships:

HOW IMPORTANT IS IT?

Is it more important to be "right" by stopping use by your cousin and friend of any word you deem not politically c?

Or, is it more important these two women don't think you are a bitch and to just let it go?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, I stopped policing other people's speech regarding this word when my close friend with a severely mentally handicapped child referred to something as "retarded".

I don't use the term but honestly this huge campaign just seems like overkill. I work wil special needs people and I or their family members/other care takers would never refer to them as "retarded" or "retards". In the campaign with the girl from glee she says "it's not okay to call me retarded" and it's not. We don't refer to disabled people as retarded. This is different from the fact that using "gay" as a descriptor is bad because people actually identify as gay. Intellectually disabled people don't identify as "retards".

This.
It's definitely an insult, but it's not in reference to people with developmental delays. At least not anymore.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, I stopped policing other people's speech regarding this word when my close friend with a severely mentally handicapped child referred to something as "retarded".

I don't use the term but honestly this huge campaign just seems like overkill. I work wil special needs people and I or their family members/other care takers would never refer to them as "retarded" or "retards". In the campaign with the girl from glee she says "it's not okay to call me retarded" and it's not. We don't refer to disabled people as retarded. This is different from the fact that using "gay" as a descriptor is bad because people actually identify as gay. Intellectually disabled people don't identify as "retards".

This.
It's definitely an insult, but it's not in reference to people with developmental delays. At least not anymore.

Then why do people with intellectual disabilities consistently, in my experience, think that the word applies to them?

I would never call a gay person a "fag", but I understand that it is still derogatory to gay people to use that word as an insult I don't call black people nigger, but I still know that it is insulting to them. Why would this word be different?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, I stopped policing other people's speech regarding this word when my close friend with a severely mentally handicapped child referred to something as "retarded".

I don't use the term but honestly this huge campaign just seems like overkill. I work wil special needs people and I or their family members/other care takers would never refer to them as "retarded" or "retards". In the campaign with the girl from glee she says "it's not okay to call me retarded" and it's not. We don't refer to disabled people as retarded. This is different from the fact that using "gay" as a descriptor is bad because people actually identify as gay. Intellectually disabled people don't identify as "retards".

This.
It's definitely an insult, but it's not in reference to people with developmental delays. At least not anymore.

Then why do people with intellectual disabilities consistently, in my experience, think that the word applies to them?

I would never call a gay person a "fag", but I understand that it is still derogatory to gay people to use that word as an insult I don't call black people nigger, but I still know that it is insulting to them. Why would this word be different?

My gay friends and black friends both use the terms fag/nigger

[Anonymous]

I like to say "We need to get you a new word!" It's not confrontational but it makes the point.

[Anonymous]

I love how people think changing the name of something will change people's opinions. If someone really thinks X group is inferior for whatever reason, they are STILL going to think that regardless of whatever the current PC name for X group is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I love how people think changing the name of something will change people's opinions. If someone really thinks X group is inferior for whatever reason, they are STILL going to think that regardless of whatever the current PC name for X group is.

Which people have said that?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, I stopped policing other people's speech regarding this word when my close friend with a severely mentally handicapped child referred to something as "retarded".

I don't use the term but honestly this huge campaign just seems like overkill. I work wil special needs people and I or their family members/other care takers would never refer to them as "retarded" or "retards". In the campaign with the girl from glee she says "it's not okay to call me retarded" and it's not. We don't refer to disabled people as retarded. This is different from the fact that using "gay" as a descriptor is bad because people actually identify as gay. Intellectually disabled people don't identify as "retards".

This.
It's definitely an insult, but it's not in reference to people with developmental delays. At least not anymore.

Then why do people with intellectual disabilities consistently, in my experience, think that the word applies to them?

I would never call a gay person a "fag", but I understand that it is still derogatory to gay people to use that word as an insult I don't call black people nigger, but I still know that it is insulting to them. Why would this word be different?

My gay friends and black friends both use the terms fag/nigger

OK I am not sure how that's relevant. Are you saying you have many friends with ID who use the r-word so you feel OK with it?

[Anonymous]

It's such a 1980s thing. 'Retarded' and 'gay' without the connotation were used so frequently as slang. Gay=lame; retarded=dumb or lame. 'Dude' was also common.

I saw TV bleeped out 'retard' in 16 Candles movie. Fast Times at Ridgemont High, Breakfast Club all used these slang words.

I hate to admit it, but there is some nostalgia when I talk with HS friends or siblings and one drops one of these words. Bad, I know.

So, yes, most of us have terminated the use of these slang words in our daily speech. It is definitely generational. The youngsters raised in the politically correct, litigious, campuses of recent decades that have been taught to take offense at everything will rightly be offended. Many comedians, even Seinfeld, will no longer perform at college campuses. People can't handle jokes anymore either.