people using the R-word

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:there are times I wish it was still 1984 and you could still say, "dude, that's so gay" or "dude, don't be retarded."

But we can't. It's 2014.

(and yeah, "retarded" means slow or delayed, and so I do kind of wish we could still use it for that reason.)

I think it's still used that way, albeit rarely, since the word is so loaded now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ugh, I have a retarded brother. He is mentally retarded. The word retarded does not bother me. What bothers me is that my brother will never walk or feed himself.

Find something real to be unhappy about.

Yes, this!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ugh, I have a retarded brother. He is mentally retarded. The word retarded does not bother me. What bothers me is that my brother will never walk or feed himself.

Find something real to be unhappy about.

Yes, this!

Mom of disabled daughter here.
Love my girl for who she is and that's sort of my point when I say the word is offensive.
We're a happy family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My five year old daughter has global delays -- as in will never walk, talk, or feed herself. She is 100% dependent for all her needs. The r-word is offensive and hurtful.

But "retarded" is an accurate descriptor of her situation. You're offended and hurt that she has disabilities? Because that's what you're saying.

[Anonymous]

Yes, it has the technical meaning of slow or delayed, and thus it was used as a diagnostic term. And there wasn't a problem -- until people started using it as an insult. The intellectual/developmental disability community has worked to change the vernacular for that reason. It's offensive because it's used as an insult. If you want to learn more, go to http://www.r-word.org/.

Anyone who has a child with a developmental disability knows that it's offensive to hear someone called a "retard" who is, in fact, just acting stupidly. And anyone who has a child, with a disability or not, should be able to understand that.

And those of you who say "there are bigger problems to deal with," shame on you. Teaching respect for everyone, as individuals, is important. And in fact, it's something over which we actually have control.

[Anonymous]

Retarded was a normal word when I grew up. It's only the recent few years that all of a sudden I've heard it's offensive.

It's hard to remove a word from your vocabulary when you're already 30+ years old. It'll slip out of my mouth and then I have to back peddle. ugh.

[Anonymous]

No, not at all offended or hurt that she's disabled. Like I said above, I love my girl just the way she is and we're a happy family. I find it offensive that the R-word is appropriated to describe an unfortunate or undesirable situation, individual, or occurrence. Like how the word "gay" is used disparagingly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, it has the technical meaning of slow or delayed, and thus it was used as a diagnostic term. And there wasn't a problem -- until people started using it as an insult. The intellectual/developmental disability community has worked to change the vernacular for that reason. It's offensive because it's used as an insult. If you want to learn more, go to http://www.r-word.org/.

Anyone who has a child with a developmental disability knows that it's offensive to hear someone called a "retard" who is, in fact, just acting stupidly. And anyone who has a child, with a disability or not, should be able to understand that.

And those of you who say "there are bigger problems to deal with," shame on you. Teaching respect for everyone, as individuals, is important. And in fact, it's something over which we actually have control.

Thank you
- Mom with a daughter who is disabled

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Retarded was a normal word when I grew up. It's only the recent few years that all of a sudden I've heard it's offensive.

It's hard to remove a word from your vocabulary when you're already 30+ years old. It'll slip out of my mouth and then I have to back peddle. ugh.

+1

I even go so far as using " -tard" for slang.

OP - there are a ton of offensive words out there. Some against nationalities, religions, regions of the US, etc. The level of offensiveness is subjective. My SIL is offended if someone calls her a redneck. If someone calls her a retard, she could care less.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Retarded was a normal word when I grew up. It's only the recent few years that all of a sudden I've heard it's offensive.

It's hard to remove a word from your vocabulary when you're already 30+ years old. It'll slip out of my mouth and then I have to back peddle. ugh.

+1

I even go so far as using " -tard" for slang.

OP - there are a ton of offensive words out there. Some against nationalities, religions, regions of the US, etc. The level of offensiveness is subjective. My SIL is offended if someone calls her a redneck. If someone calls her a retard, she could care less.

Then you need to make a greater effort.

[Anonymous]

I really don't understand how people don't get that the word is offensive to a lot of people and that it's simply not ok to use it. Yes, *technically* the word means slow or delayed. However, that's not how the word is used. It's now a derogatory term used to convey an insult, and does so at the expense of a vulnerable population.

To me, it's like referring to black people as "colored." It's not that the word is technically incorrect, but that it was co-opted by people outside of that group to convey derogation.

I like the comment that you can't use that word without sounding like an asshole. Totally agree.

[Anonymous]

What's the difference between using retarded and the following phrases, which aren't subject to a PC campaign:

What are you, stupid? (Diagnosis term before retarded was used as a nicer term)

That's idiotic. (Same)

What are you, crippled (not taken as offensive to people with handicaps)

That's insane (not taken as offensive to people with mental disorders)

The opinions in this thread show how willingly some well meaning folks will take up the PC cause. But people have always used terms for disabilities in colloquial speech. Get over it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My five year old daughter has global delays -- as in will never walk, talk, or feed herself. She is 100% dependent for all her needs. The r-word is offensive and hurtful.

But "retarded" is an accurate descriptor of her situation. You're offended and hurt that she has disabilities? Because that's what you're saying.

Many of you are totally missing the point, probably because OP was less than articulate in her opening post to this thread.

The point is not that using the word retarded itself to describe a disability is wrong. You can use the word to describe the actual developmental delay, just as you would use the word gay to describe someone homosexual.

It's when you use it as a slur[u] that it's problematic.

Example: "That's so retarded!" (referring to something you don't like, something that's wrong, something that's weird, something that's objectionable)

or a mom says to her normal child "Stop acting so retarded!" when the child is misbehaving. Those are the instances of the R-word that we are talking about NOT using here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Oh I thought it was republican.



LOL. Me too. Equally offensive.

Synonym

[Anonymous]

I think its a grey-area word. I've known people with SN kids who were offended and others who were not. Personally, I don't use it and when my kids have said it, I tell them "I really don't like that word." There are many other more articulate terms and phrases to use so I err on the side of caution. But I think it really comes down to how you use it and the intent of the statement, just like anything.

I mean, the word "gorilla" isn't an offensive word unless I use it to describe someone.