Resources, family therapist, school for anxious, gifted, possibly suicidal ADD boy: HELP!

[Anonymous]

Hi OP, saw this revived thread and wanted to answer you Q about how MCPS identifies GT/LD kids (which is what MCPS uses instead of the broader term 2E which also includes kids who are gifted and have some non-LD based disability like ADHD -- MCPS includes all that in their GT/LD eligibility).

I don't think there's a hard MCPS cut-off for what is "GT." Generally, I would say an IQ of above 120 probably qualifies.

Look up what MCPS says is GT/LD on this page -- http://www.montgomeryschoolsmd.org/curriculum/enriched/gtld/.

They look at more than just IQ, and it is not a hard determination (i.e. no hard score cut off or "must meet 3 out of 4 criteria" type cut-off).

FWIW, on the "suicide threats," I wouldn't lecture or threaten consequences for this kind of talk. Tell him that you understand that he says such stuff because he is so unhappy. Have a serious talk about how suicide is a permanent solution for what you assure him is a temporary problem because you are working to put supports in place for him. Explain about the testing and how some kids have brains which are great (i.e. very smart, work well) but don't necessarily work in the way that school thinks brains work. This is definitely true for ADD kids. Explain how ADD can be a plus, but also a problem to manage in certain environments. (Like how school thinks kids should be able to sit still for long periods and work quickly which may be difficult for ADD kid, even when they "know" the school work.)

I would seriously rethink working with a psychologist who advocates "consequences" for "fake suicide threats". Find another one who is experienced in ADD and the anxiety and depression that can be associated with it due to the mismatch in abilities and demands.

[Anonymous]

Hi, this is OP. Thanks for checking in. Things are much better however not at all yet settled with the school. I don't want to post too much as I'll be meeting with them again soon. Suffice to say this has been a frustrating process. Neuropsych testing did confirm that DC is 2E. I think that fed his anxiety at school. If we do not get an IEP, not sure what we'll do. I cannot imagine starting another school year without one, yet I know it alone won't be a fix.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hi OP, saw this revived thread and wanted to answer you Q about how MCPS identifies GT/LD kids (which is what MCPS uses instead of the broader term 2E which also includes kids who are gifted and have some non-LD based disability like ADHD -- MCPS includes all that in their GT/LD eligibility).

I don't think there's a hard MCPS cut-off for what is "GT." Generally, I would say an IQ of above 120 probably qualifies.

Look up what MCPS says is GT/LD on this page -- http://www.montgomeryschoolsmd.org/curriculum/enriched/gtld/.

They look at more than just IQ, and it is not a hard determination (i.e. no hard score cut off or "must meet 3 out of 4 criteria" type cut-off).

FWIW, on the "suicide threats," I wouldn't lecture or threaten consequences for this kind of talk. Tell him that you understand that he says such stuff because he is so unhappy. Have a serious talk about how suicide is a permanent solution for what you assure him is a temporary problem because you are working to put supports in place for him. Explain about the testing and how some kids have brains which are great (i.e. very smart, work well) but don't necessarily work in the way that school thinks brains work. This is definitely true for ADD kids. Explain how ADD can be a plus, but also a problem to manage in certain environments. (Like how school thinks kids should be able to sit still for long periods and work quickly which may be difficult for ADD kid, even when they "know" the school work.)

I would seriously rethink working with a psychologist who advocates "consequences" for "fake suicide threats". Find another one who is experienced in ADD and the anxiety and depression that can be associated with it due to the mismatch in abilities and demands.

+1 All this psychologist will do is drive the suicidality underground.

[Anonymous]

OP - it is good to hear that you are making progress with school division on getting services for your son. I also think that you have to be open to finding a psychologist who has experience in dealing with adolescents who are dually diagnosed - other disabilities and a mental health issue. And, while not hyper-focusing on the mental health issue as necessarily one for a lifetime, it is a real and present concern for now and possibly for quite a while if school continues to have its issues for your son. Find a therapist who is laying another layer of pressure on your son and who is open and accepting of what he shares in exploring how "your son views his world and identifies his feelings" without any sense of guilt.

There is a wonderful resource for parents out there in an 8-hour training called Mental Health First Aid which teaches adults working with adolescents about how to recognize mental health issues in this age group, how to respond and how to help one find resources/services. I know it is being presented at our church here which is not in the DC metro area through an area youth group. One can use Google to find groups offering the training in your area.

You are on the right path and the summer offers you and your son the opportunity to find a good therapist. I know my daughter in the DC area although much older when a few years ago felt her psychiatrist was just all to eager to give her meds, but knew she needed a specialist in one who served women with high anxiety issues during years of having children and raising them and it took her a couple of tries, but it has been worth it. In your case, I think you need to sound out the potential therapist first and then see how your son thinks after a couple of sessions and if not a good fit, keep looking. You need to have confidence that he will have a non-judgmental outlet to be able to reduce his inner angst in the tough teen years ahead.