Resources, family therapist, school for anxious, gifted, possibly suicidal ADD boy: HELP!

[Anonymous]

First of all get him on meds ASAP. The black box warnings are very dangerous, in my opinion, because they deter parents from getting necessary medical help for their children. Suicide rates have gone up since the black box warnings were put on SSRIs. Yes, keep in eye on him until he is better and know it sometimes take time to find the right medication and dose, but it sounds like you really, really need to get on this.

Does the psychiatrist know he has expressed suicidal ideation? if not, make that call today. Yes, kids aren't always serious but you shouldn't be trying to figure that out yourself, you should be allowing a professional to do that. All talk of suicide by kids must be taken seriously.

Finally, the school has to ease up. Once his mental health stabilizes you can attend to school demands, but for now you need to let deadlines and pressures go. Tell his teacher he is in crisis and for mental health reasons will have to have relaxed demands. I don't know how this works in public schools but for my DC in private the school worked out an individual test and deadline schedule and excused some things. It helped enormously.

[Anonymous]

Hi I didn't have time to read all the replies but please don't be scared of medicine. My child was talking about how we was going to kill himself. He went to the deck and stood ont he railing said he was going to jump, he threw himself down stairs, he said he was going to throw himself in front of a train. Enter Zoloft. He is so much happier, its been absolutely life changing. You are watching your son closely and he'll be under the care of psychiatrist too so please reconsider. Sounds like your child needs it desparately. Hang in there it will get better. Take care of yourself so you can be there for your child.

[Anonymous]

This is OP - 15:51 and 16:03, thank you for your responses. Yes, I have reconsidered - thanks to 12:53 and all the other caring posters - just waiting for the Rx to be filled.

And yes, the psychiatrist knows about this, which is why the Zoloft was prescribed. I have a follow-up appointment with the psychiatrist in two weeks.

I also spoke to the school counselor today and have a meeting with the counselor tomorrow morning. The Special Ed person will be there too.

Had not thought about having them ease up on deadlines, will give that some consideration.

[Anonymous]

So glad to hear about the medicine. Keep in mind it will be a number of weeks til the medicine starts working. For my son (I am 16:13) at about one month out I started seeing changes. He has had no negative side effects at all, not even weight gain. Wishing you the best in the coming weeks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm very sorry for your struggles. I know how difficult all this is as we struggle with it. I know you have put off treatment/evaluations because of financial reasons. Have you thought about enrolling in an NIH study? We participate in several and have gotten fabulous evaluations for ADHD and depression. You might consider it. Here's a link you can go to enter some parameters http://clinicaltrials.gov/ct2/search/advanced

Here's a few

http://clinicaltrials.gov/ct2/show/NCT00018057?term=depression&recr=Open&state1=NA%3AUS%3AMD&age=0&rank=5

http://clinicaltrials.gov/ct2/show/NCT00104039?term=adhd&recr=Open&state1=NA%3AUS%3AMD&age=0&rank=6

http://clinicaltrials.gov/ct2/show/NCT01552915?term=adhd&recr=Open&state1=NA%3AUS%3AMD&age=0&rank=1

Thank you, PP. I had forgotten about this as an option - had actually tried to enroll and then the government shut down!
I have an appointment tomorrow at the school which will hopefully get the ball rolling on school testing, but it that doesn't work, I may pursue this ...just don't want to expose my son to too much. Then again, some of these look good for me too - preventing weight gain studies, anyone?

[Anonymous]

<<Hugs>> I know what you're going through. Hang in there, you're doing the right things and asking the right questions. The right meds and therapy will help a lot.

My 3rd grader is also having a really hard time right now and I think a lot of it is anxiety-based. He recently started a low dose of Zoloft and it's calming him down. It's easing the angry outbursts that were becoming commonplace both at home and school. My son has Asperger's and ADHD, and I think he's starting to realize that he thinks and acts differently than other people - which creates the anxiety/anger. He's also in an advanced academic program this year which has increased the demands on his executive functions. He's expected to manage long-term projects and assignments, and take charge of his own work. Although he can learn quickly, he has poor work habits and is very socially immature. He's surrounded by smart, conscientious students so he stands out like a sore thumb. He gets stressed out and KABOOM!

I think your first step is meds. I'm also concerned about the black-box warning on SSRI's, but the dr. reassured me enough that I agreed to have my son try Zoloft. So far, I think it's helping although we will need to gradually increase the dose over time. Therapy and a school plan are also important. Try to get your son an IEP.

Best of luck to you and your son.

[Anonymous]

If he really likes video games and it makes him happy why limit the one thing that can give him hope and make him happy. Why not after your homework is done you can play video games until bedtime. Do the video games make him angry ?

[Anonymous]

OP here - thank you so much, 17:02.

I swear, I want to send a BIG VIRTUAL HUG to all the Special Needs Kids posters who helped me today.

THANKS to you, in just a few hours, I:
- realized Zoloft would be ok;
- remembered Dr. Kerzner (I was in a panic);
- spoke to Dr. K & got appt lined up;
- spoke to school counselor and got appt lined up for tomorrow re getting ball rolling on testing and eventual IEP.

Re the counselor, I think we're going to work with the psychologist in Dr. K's office, we discussed that today.

I HOPE the school path works out...if not, I'll be back posting, no doubt...

.

[Anonymous]

Good to hear OP. Stay on top of this for sure. Don't rule out a possible stay at the hospital if things don't improve with his depression.

Also look into CBT - Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and group therapy where he will meet with a therapist and other kids his age that are also struggling.

Also tell your son that just because he's on an IEP doesnt mean there is something WRONG with him. At our MoCo school, there are 17 kids in the 5th grade on an IEP, no telling how many are on a 504. Its very common and nothing to be ashamed of.

Good Luck!

[Anonymous]

Outside time after school should be required, not optional. Also, no computer games. He's not really to decide these things for himself. Look for professionals who will support your consistancy here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:PS from 12.53: The better mental health people don't take insurance. Sad but true. You can often negotiate around the fee, though.

Even if a provider does not take insurance, you may still be able to submit a claim to your insurance.

To that end, insurance may cover a psychiatrist but not so much a family therapist -- in particular, an LCSW, Licensed Clinical Social Worker. In between the psychiatrist and family therapist, you have clinical psychologists. I suggest seeing one of those instead of a family therapist. A psychologist will be better educated and trained in cognitive behavior therapy, which may be useful to your son. Also, insurance coverage for the psychologist may be better than for the therapist. The school counselor may have psychologist recommendations -- one she has seen results with.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Outside time after school should be required, not optional. Also, no computer games. He's not really to decide these things for himself. Look for professionals who will support your consistancy here.

For a suicidal kid with ADD, video games should not be cut off. They give him a moment of fun and success. Please don't listen to this person to cut him off from what he enjoys.

[Anonymous]

Zoloft was amazing for my child.

[Anonymous]

OP again - thank you.

Someone I respect with experience in SN told me today to be careful what is disclosed to the school from the testing, or other discussions. The school counselor told me she was not going to put the suicidal notes in his record, but can anyone expand on what dangers there are to revealing information that is best left unreported, or even explain what that means? I'm of course going to get back with this person, but I'm just climbing the walls right now...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Outside time after school should be required, not optional. Also, no computer games. He's not really to decide these things for himself. Look for professionals who will support your consistancy here.

For a suicidal kid with ADD, video games should not be cut off. They give him a moment of fun and success. Please don't listen to this person to cut him off from what he enjoys.

OP again - thanks and no worries, I assumed that PP had never seen a Minecraft build.