No savings on a high HHI?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Our golden eggs are the future inheritances we will both receive (I hope) from both our parents. Of course our parents are in their late 60s so that may be 30 years from now.

wow - I hope your parents leave their $$ to charity. Earn your own way in life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I'mm still here and I've read all the responses and brought up a number of them with DH. Thing is, my family lived a relatively modest life even though my parents were highly educated and considered "wealthy". DH's family lived and still live a grand lifestyle and his siblings still do today. They just live in a much much cheaper part of the country. We need to cut out the 3 vacations a year with the family, but he refuses. I can just see his sister right now starting a gossip column with his prep school friends about how we must have money problems because we didn't go to Maine with them. All my research shows that our JKLMM school is a good school but public school? His sister again!

OP, you are doing nothing to dispel the perception that your husband is a douchebag. In fact, you're reinforcing it.

As for his sister, well, she sounds like a twatwaffle, but you DO have money problems. Your expenses outpace your income, and you are racking up credit card debt on an income of $500,000 per year. Think about that for a second - it's freakin' ridiculous.

I guess it's not so much money problems, but irrational expectations problems.

[Anonymous]

OP again. He's really not a bad person, no anger issues or the like. He just has certain views of the world that have been shaded by his upbringing, friends in high school and college and now friends in real life.
The big expense is the house and that eats up a lot. We do have redundant expenses e.g. membership to a country club and then a downtown club. We have to keep them because of the business opportunities but I don't see any benefits. Things like that add up monthly. Eating out, trips etc. It just really adds up.

[Anonymous]

I just want to say thanks, OP. I sit here feeling sorry for myself because we have to make sacrifices to send our kids to private school (few vacations, no country club membership, haven't bought a designer bag in so long I can't remember, etc.). In a sick sort of way, it's nice to realize that some people who appear to have so much more than we do actually have a lot less. I can only imagine how stressful it must be to live like you do. I wouldn't be able to sleep at night wondering when our lifestyle was going to catch up with us. You need to drag your husband to a both a good counselor and financial advisor ASAP.

[Anonymous]

Yes, it really adds up. You keep saying that like you're helpless and have no idea what on earth is happening when you spend money and then the money is gone. It is basic addition and subtraction people!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have a HHI of $500k. We have little savings (401k) a lot of debt, debt on our $2m NW house. We'll never make it if we can't make it now.

Why did you buy such an expensive house? We bought a $350,000 house when we made $184,000. We still live in that (paid off) house today, although we now make $450,000. And we have millions invested.

Yeah, me too!!

[Anonymous]

OP, let me put it in different terms. What size dress do you wear? I'm going to be stereotypical and say that as the SAHM of a wealthy DH in a $2M home, you're probably a size 4 or smaller. And why is that? You make choices, some of which you don't enjoy. Getting up at 5am for a 90min workout sucks but you do it. Bad day and you'd love to scarf a pint of Ben & Jerry's but you don't. Fettuccine alfredo sounds amazing but you have the broiled sea bass and steamed vegetables.

These are all choices, and they are the reason you are a size 4 instead of a size 14.

Financial choices are the same. Some are enjoyable, some are challenging. They're all choices.

[Anonymous]

Wow. I was looking at my finances trying to figure out how to make ends meet with probable layoff. HHI 155K, 600K house that I paid 250 for 15 years ago.....600k in my 401K. Public schools.

I figure I will cash out the house and move to a low cost of living area.

You, though, are totally hosed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP again. He's really not a bad person, no anger issues or the like. He just has certain views of the world that have been shaded by his upbringing, friends in high school and college and now friends in real life.
The big expense is the house and that eats up a lot. We do have redundant expenses e.g. membership to a country club and then a downtown club. We have to keep them because of the business opportunities but I don't see any benefits. Things like that add up monthly. Eating out, trips etc. It just really adds up.

OP I can't help but wonder if his parents really have the money they say they do. If it's all about show with his family, they might be in the same position as you. So, better not rely on an inheritance.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like you both need to grow up. You are not entitled to a certain standard of living. You owe your children some financial security given that you have a fairly high income.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP again. He's really not a bad person, no anger issues or the like. He just has certain views of the world that have been shaded by his upbringing, friends in high school and college and now friends in real life.
The big expense is the house and that eats up a lot. We do have redundant expenses e.g. membership to a country club and then a downtown club. We have to keep them because of the business opportunities but I don't see any benefits. Things like that add up monthly. Eating out, trips etc. It just really adds up.

OP I can't help but wonder if his parents really have the money they say they do. If it's all about show with his family, they might be in the same position as you. So, better not rely on an inheritance.

+1 scary but OP you should really consider what PP is saying. Start saving/investing at least 20 per cent of your HHI

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. We are mid 30s. Our income has been rising steadily but we've hit a ceiling. I could go back to work but with kids and prospects of working long hours to make only $100k its probably not worth it. Yes we need to cut back. I'm more willing to cut back than DH who thinks he's entitled to live a certain way because 1) he works so many hours and 2) he was brought up by relatively wealthy parents. Our house is the issue but we wont sell. It's our forever home, and in this part of NWDC prices are only going to go up.

$100K a year is not chump change, OP. If you are living on your DH's $500K then that $100K could be banked/saved towards your children's college educations and your future.

RE your DH, it seems to me that his thinking that he is entitled to live a certain way is in part an emotional response to his life circumstances ("I work so hard!") and in part a competition vis-a-vis his family. Either way, it is an emotional response and not a rational one.

Where money is concerned, reason and not emotion must prevail. Finances are math, pure and simple. If you introduce emotion and not reason into doing math, you will not get logical results.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I'mm still here and I've read all the responses and brought up a number of them with DH. Thing is, my family lived a relatively modest life even though my parents were highly educated and considered "wealthy". DH's family lived and still live a grand lifestyle and his siblings still do today. They just live in a much much cheaper part of the country. We need to cut out the 3 vacations a year with the family, but he refuses. I can just see his sister right now starting a gossip column with his prep school friends about how we must have money problems because we didn't go to Maine with them. All my research shows that our JKLMM school is a good school but public school? His sister again!

Again, these "reasons" you cite for having to live above your means are not reasons; they are emotional responses to family. His sister, his parents, your parents, his prep school friends - none of these people play any role in the mathematics of your household finances. You and your DH must put aside your emotions and look at the numbers. The numbers will not add up in your favor if you continue to spend more than you make.

[Anonymous]

You might try day-trading your remaining liquid assets. There is a day-trading school in the DC area:

http://www.tradingacademy.com/washingtondc/

Though there are risks, you could double or triple your money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You might try day-trading your remaining liquid assets. There is a day-trading school in the DC area:

http://www.tradingacademy.com/washingtondc/

Though there are risks, you could double or triple your money.

LOL. Yes, day trading is EXACTLY what OP needs.

[Anonymous]

We make about 480 combined and spend much less than you on housing and wouldn't think of private school. We do have a nanny, but that is a temporary expensive. We're thinking of buying a house for 1.2 and I thought that was maybe too much for our income with 20 percent down Now I read you have a house for over 2. Wow. Just wow.