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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here. We are mid 30s. Our income has been rising steadily but we've hit a ceiling. [b]I could go back to work but with kids and prospects of working long hours to make only $100k its probably not worth it[/b]. Yes we need to cut back. I'm more willing to cut back than [b]DH who thinks he's entitled to live a certain way [/b]because 1) he works so many hours and 2) he was brought up by relatively wealthy parents. Our house is the issue but we wont sell. It's our forever home, and in this part of NWDC prices are only going to go up. [/quote]

$100K a year is not chump change, OP.  If you are living on your DH's $500K then that $100K could be banked/saved towards your children's college educations and your future.

RE your DH, it seems to me that his thinking that he is entitled to live a certain way is in part an emotional response to his life circumstances ("I work so hard!") and in part a competition vis-a-vis his family.  Either way, it is an emotional response and not a rational one.

Where money is concerned, reason and not emotion must prevail.  Finances are math, pure and simple.  If you introduce emotion and not reason into doing math, you will not get logical results.

[quote=Anonymous]OP here. I'mm still here and I've read all the responses and brought up a number of them with DH. Thing is, my family lived a relatively modest life even though my parents were highly educated and considered "wealthy". [b]DH's family lived and still live a grand lifestyle and his siblings still do today.[/b] They just live in a much much cheaper part of the country. We need to cut out the [b]3 vacations a year with the family, but he refuses. I can just see his sister right now starting a gossip column[/b] with his prep school friends about how we must have money problems because we didn't go to Maine with them. All my research shows that our JKLMM school is a good school but [b]public school? His sister again![/b] [/quote]

Again, these "reasons" you cite for having to live above your means are not reasons; they are emotional responses to family.  His sister, his parents, your parents, his prep school friends - none of these people play any role in the mathematics of your household finances.  You and your DH must put aside your emotions and look at the numbers.  The numbers will not add up in your favor if you continue to spend more than you make.

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