Teenager does not want job

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I see parents paying for their kids to go to college, and it makes me sad. Those are kids who will never truly be independent. We could pay for college for our kids, but we decided that it was not our jobs.

That's one of the dumbest things I've ever read. What a ridiculous, and untrue, stereotype.

+1

[Anonymous]

My parents paid for my college and we will pay for our children's college. Paying it forward. They will have to come up with their own personal expenses, as I did. My 16 is working part time (16 hours) at a non-profit this summer as an intern and he will get a small stipend from our Congregation for doing it.

Both DH and I graduated without college loans and it gave us many more opportunities to pursue than if we had loans to pay back immediately. Our current financial situation is enhanced because we could save faster and more for a downpayment and purchase a house before the last run up. Since we have a much lower mortgage than our peers, we have more money to save for our children's college and our retirement (and for vacations now).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She should "feel" the affects of not having a job. Determine a small amount of money each week that you will give her, and then no more.

When she is hungry for more $, she may find a job. But jobs are hard for teens to find. And she may be scared. And she may need help -from you- finding one.

Then she is not ready to do anything on her own. When I was 14 and one day, I asked my parents to drive me to the local supermarket so I could get a job application to become a cashier there. The only help I needed in filling it out is asking for my social security number.

The only "help" she should need is a pep talk to put on her big girl panties and get out there and do it. Freaking pathetic. Stop helicoptering children.

+1000

[Anonymous]

I would make it clear to her that next summer, she needs to start looking for a summer job earlier (starting around Spring Break). I think it's great to volunteer but I also think she needs to start acting more like an adult b/c she almost is one. She can work as a summer camp counselor or find babysitting/summer nanny jobs. I did both before, during and after college. But I had to show some forethought to get the jobs. Very few people "want" a job but nearly everyone "needs" one. She needs to be taught the difference.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is she doing with all the rest of her time?

She plays tennis and soccer but otherwise just sits around the house or hangs out with friends..

I would stop paying for her extras and tell her that she needs to figure out how to earn some money. Doesn't have to be a job, just paid work e.g.:

dog-walking
babysitting
weeding
housecleaning
lawn-mowing
elder care/elder companion

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is she doing with all the rest of her time?

She plays tennis and soccer but otherwise just sits around the house or hangs out with friends..

I would stop paying for her extras and tell her that she needs to figure out how to earn some money. Doesn't have to be a job, just paid work e.g.:

dog-walking
babysitting
weeding
housecleaning
lawn-mowing
elder care/elder companion

Actually House-Cleaning can net up to $200 per midsized house. Need to work with a buddy though for safety.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a 16 year old DD who doesn't seem to want to get a job- instead, she volunteers at a museum and a hospital. Which is wonderful, but I cannot help but see all her friends who are working for MONEY, while DD does the same amount of work (well, kind of- she volunteers about 10 hours/week) for no pay. Has anyone else faced this dilemma? As of now we pay for almost everything (gas, cell, clothes) but I am thinking we need to force her to start applying for actual jobs so SHE can pay for these things. Thoughts?

I'm confused. Are you talking about the school year or summer vacation? Ten hours of volunteering + tennis and soccer sounds like A LOT on top of school and homework. If your just referring to summer, I still think her schedule sounds fine. Honestly, kids today are so overscheduled, I think it's good for her to have a bit of downtime.

[Anonymous]

Volunteering at a museum and a hospital may lead to better opportunities in the future than the kind of job a teen without experience is likely to find.

One of my teens has been offered a job by the organization he's been volunteering for; it's a job during the school year, but I think he can handle it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I see parents paying for their kids to go to college, and it makes me sad. Those are kids who will never truly be independent. We could pay for college for our kids, but we decided that it was not our jobs.

I hope you have enough in retirement savings, as your kids may not see it as their job...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I see parents paying for their kids to go to college, and it makes me sad. Those are kids who will never truly be independent. We could pay for college for our kids, but we decided that it was not our jobs.

I hope you have enough in retirement savings, as your kids may not see it as their job...

LOL!

+1000

Sometimes it is a case of sour grapes. Parents have not saved for college and then pass the buck by saying that it is the child's responsibility to get a college education.

[Anonymous]

I guess we're in the minority. We're not pushing our teens to have summer jobs. The rest of their lives they're going to have jobs and they spend all school year working hard at classes and studying until 11PM most nights in order to keep up with APs, etc. They do community service over the summer but this stress on summer jobs seems intense unless its necessary for home income and really teens don't make that much after transportation costs, taxes and SS have been taken out.

[Anonymous]

13:17 I'm with you. Most of my son's friends do not have jobs or have part-time jobs or jobs in a few weeks of week-by-week day camps. This is a comfortable set, but not wildly affluent by any stretch.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I guess we're in the minority. We're not pushing our teens to have summer jobs. The rest of their lives they're going to have jobs and they spend all school year working hard at classes and studying until 11PM most nights in order to keep up with APs, etc. They do community service over the summer but this stress on summer jobs seems intense unless its necessary for home income and really teens don't make that much after transportation costs, taxes and SS have been taken out.

I agree. My teen and her classmates are in an academically rigorous program in HS. It means that they are so very busy that they do not have any free time during school year to socialize except during clubs and other extra-curricular activities at school. They have to plan weeks in advance if they want to get together. During summer they are busy once again with volunteering, camps, internships etc.

Since HS - my teen's allowance is $300 a month. She has hardly been able to spend $50 in the entire year. Between choosing to socialize and sleep-in - she chooses to catch up on her Zzzz'z. Money is not a motivation for her at all, she would not care if I stopped her allowance altogether.

Maybe she and her classmates are a minority. Most of them do not have the time to date and majority have not bothered to get their learner's permit for driving.

[Anonymous]

OP, you have given your DD the LUXURY of volunteering at the museum. Many children do not have that luxury. To the PP who bashed Burger King as a job vs. volunteering...many kids cannot afford to volunteer. I worked my tail off as a waitress EVERY summer during high school, sometime double shifts.
Did my parents MAKE me get a summer job? NO WAY! It was a work ethic instilled in me by my parents. Step up and get your DD into some kind of paying job...babysitting, dog walking, fast food, WHATEVER. Regardless of whether she or your family needs her to help pay for college or her summer entertainment with friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I guess we're in the minority. We're not pushing our teens to have summer jobs. The rest of their lives they're going to have jobs and they spend all school year working hard at classes and studying until 11PM most nights in order to keep up with APs, etc. They do community service over the summer but this stress on summer jobs seems intense unless its necessary for home income and really teens don't make that much after transportation costs, taxes and SS have been taken out.

Yes, but are you raising children who feel they are "too good" to do photocopying or answer phones at their first job? Are they going to expect to be above all that?