when did we suddenly ALL have to attend EVERY sports game? pro's and con's of parent attendance

Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:From my immigrant perspective, it’s super weird how American parents feel that they have to watch all their children’s sports games. I don’t get it and I don’t understand how they think that somehow this makes them a better parent. I’m perfectly fine with watching some of my children’s games, but not all of them.


Not an immigrant and I agree with you. Kids also practice and travel more for sports now. Everyone’s time commitment is way higher than it used to be and it’s just not practical to attend it all.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:From my immigrant perspective, it’s super weird how American parents feel that they have to watch all their children’s sports games. I don’t get it and I don’t understand how they think that somehow this makes them a better parent. I’m perfectly fine with watching some of my children’s games, but not all of them.


We will say it again for the slow ones. Many of us do not feel like we have to watch all their games--not in the least. We ENJOY watching our kids do what they love. Period. And we don't think we are better parents because of that. It is just a thing we enjoy. Many people find youth sports painful to watch. Indeed, lots of people don't like watching ANY sports, even at the highest level. So I am not surprised that those people--if they have kids who play sports--don't enjoy watching. Of course they still want to support their kid but since they do not particularly enjoy it, they don't feel inclined to go to all of it. FINE. DH and I have always enjoyed sports. And we enjoy watching out kids play. It has NOTHING to do with a sense of obligation!
Anonymous
I enjoy watching my kids do sports. We often only have one parent at each game/meet, but I honestly think they'd be better off if we skipped some entirely.

I think kids today could use more breathing room that most of us give them, and would be better off if the world didn't revolve around their organized activities.
Anonymous
I think you are overthinking this. Do what works for your kid and your family. There are no expectations. There are plenty of parents that go to every game and plenty of parents who don’t.
Anonymous
Just do you. I don't go to everything. Frankly my daughter says she plays better without me there.

Just know there are parents that sit at every single practice. They are that invested
Anonymous
It’s a family time for us and also socialization with the other families. We enjoy it. To each their own, I guess. But what better do we have to do them to support our kids and be there for them? That may sound obnoxious, but that’s one of our main priorities in our family.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:From my immigrant perspective, it’s super weird how American parents feel that they have to watch all their children’s sports games. I don’t get it and I don’t understand how they think that somehow this makes them a better parent. I’m perfectly fine with watching some of my children’s games, but not all of them.


What are you prioritizing instead?
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:From my immigrant perspective, it’s super weird how American parents feel that they have to watch all their children’s sports games. I don’t get it and I don’t understand how they think that somehow this makes them a better parent. I’m perfectly fine with watching some of my children’s games, but not all of them.


My mom was an immigrant and came
to every one of my softball games. Being an immigrant has nothing to do with this. I go to my kids games if I can make it. Some of us actually enjoy watching our kids play. DD sometimes ask, did you see that serve I did and I can see how happy she is when I say yes!
Anonymous
New empty nester here and mom of 3DC. One played 3 varsity sports.

Fully admit that I am loving this phase of life where we/I don’t have to work snack bar, get to home and away games right after work, eat dinner at 9 p.m., feel compelled to attend every single game.

Also my local ILs decided long ago that they would also go to every single game so it was a full decade of sitting next to them and making small talk to the exclusion of all the other team parents - my ILs are generally disinterested in meeting “outsiders” are snobs and expected to be catered to and cared for during each game. So, I’d chose my battles/games just for some breathing room. If I knew they wouldn’t be at one, I’d be there. If they both were going I’d try to arrive later and leave immediately.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:New empty nester here and mom of 3DC. One played 3 varsity sports.

Fully admit that I am loving this phase of life where we/I don’t have to work snack bar, get to home and away games right after work, eat dinner at 9 p.m., feel compelled to attend every single game.

Also my local ILs decided long ago that they would also go to every single game so it was a full decade of sitting next to them and making small talk to the exclusion of all the other team parents - my ILs are generally disinterested in meeting “outsiders” are snobs and expected to be catered to and cared for during each game. So, I’d chose my battles/games just for some breathing room. If I knew they wouldn’t be at one, I’d be there. If they both were going I’d try to arrive later and leave immediately.


And another thing. I hated how my ILs would critique the game during g and afterward. How come DC didn’t start? How come DC is sitting out? How do you think DC played? Ugh. Then they’d want to go to dinner after to discuss further and that’s when I began to drive separately. Nope. Not the coach and I truly don’t care enough to dissect and analyze my HS playing.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:It’s a family time for us and also socialization with the other families. We enjoy it. To each their own, I guess. But what better do we have to do them to support our kids and be there for them? That may sound obnoxious, but that’s one of our main priorities in our family.


As long as parents aren’t a**hole parents, then go. This means don’t yell your kid’s name when they are playing, don’t badger them after and talk about the game or the umps or whatever.

37% of HS kids said they prefered their parents didn’t attend their games, and we all experience those parents at every game.

While leaves 63% acting fine.
Anonymous
This is very dependent on the circumstances. My one child is early elementary and we go to all of the games. It is to help support him. We don’t leave the sport up to the coaches only just like we do not leave education up to the teachers only. We support, guide, reenforce and supplement as needed. Also, my we have to drop out son off at the games and the game last an hour. Doesn’t make sense to drop him off and leave. So we stay and watch. My oldest is in high school and we don’t go to most of his games. He can drive himself, he understands the sport now, and he goes out afterwards with friends.
Anonymous
I have an only child and we both go to all games unless there’s a work thing that keeps us. We have made some great friends over the years. Now that his time playing sports is likely limited it feels more important to be there. I know he always looks to me before he goes up to bat and I want to be there. I will say only about half of the parents regularly attend games and it has been that way for a couple years
Anonymous
Growing up, my parents didn't come to anything until senior day in high school. I'd ride my bike or get dropped off at games.

I think it's awesome that parents today are more involved. I totally see the overinvolved people who seem enmeshed, but it's not the norm.

Anonymous
Grew up in the DMV, my parents made sure I go to all practices/games but rarely showed up for games. Most of us played a travel sport. Then again, looking back, I'm amazed bc I had 5 siblings and a dad who traveled for work. Car pools were real.

FF to my kids. I have two and the played 3 varsity sports, including two different travel sports. I too am a recent empty nester, but no family around. Honestly, some of the teams were fantastic and I made some great friends. Others were poison and I quickly learned to sit down and note engage. In any event, either I or my spouse pretty much made it to every event. While I sometimes miss that time, I knew full well it was time to move on.
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