when did we suddenly ALL have to attend EVERY sports game? pro's and con's of parent attendance

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Takes up a lot of time. And I do not enjoy it that much. I like talking with the other parents, but it cuts the day in half. Doing less of it now that they are older.

Well it really is all about you isn't it.

[Anonymous]

I used to beg my mom to not come toy games when I was having rough patches in high school. I would scan the crowd and be like "phew" she's not here. But sure enough after the game she would magically appear from behind a tree. It's now a favorite memory of mine.

[Anonymous]

I don't attend everything. I aim for the first game, plus whichever ones I'm told are a big deal, plus if something is going on with one of my kids. If they feel the coach is unreasonable, they have an injury I want to watch, I think they're not taking it seriously enough, whatever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Takes up a lot of time. And I do not enjoy it that much. I like talking with the other parents, but it cuts the day in half. Doing less of it now that they are older.

Well it really is all about you isn't it.

Not this PP, but of course it isn't all about us parents. But neither is it all about the child. Family members have competing needs and I think families work best when everyone's needs are taken into account. That doesn't mean you don't sometimes go to that softball game your child is playing in even if you don't feel like it. Neither should it mean that you put all of your own interests and preferences on hold just because you are a parent.

[Anonymous]

We have 3 kids, 1 in HS and 2 who have graduated; all are/were varsity athletes in HS and college. Through HS, either DH or I went to most games for all 3 kids. For the older 2, it's a 4 hour drive to attend their college home games and about 2-3 hours to closest away games. We've tried to make at least a couple of those games each year.

Pros:

1) our kids have put a lot of effort into their sports and it gives us pleasure to see how much it means to them and to be there to support them;

2) the kids are grateful for our efforts to get there; and,

3) we've gotten to know their friends, friends' parents and coaches.

Cons:

I really can't think of any.

BTW, we also make an effort to get the kids to one another's games. I think that's been a big factor in developing close sib relationships.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We have 3 kids, 1 in HS and 2 who have graduated; all are/were varsity athletes in HS and college. Through HS, either DH or I went to most games for all 3 kids. For the older 2, it's a 4 hour drive to attend their college home games and about 2-3 hours to closest away games. We've tried to make at least a couple of those games each year.

Pros:

1) our kids have put a lot of effort into their sports and it gives us pleasure to see how much it means to them and to be there to support them;

2) the kids are grateful for our efforts to get there; and,

3) we've gotten to know their friends, friends' parents and coaches.

Cons:

I really can't think of any.

BTW, we also make an effort to get the kids to one another's games. I think that's been a big factor in developing close sib relationships.

We are similar, with one in HS and one in college. One or both parents go to all the HS games. Also go to the club games in part because we have to drive to there anyway. We go to some of the college events (they are only 2-3 hours away so not too bad).

I'd add a pro that it gives us something to talk to the kids about - they both like talking about games/meets. I'd also really emphasize the importance of the PPs #3 as the kids get to HS. It is really helpful to know the other kids and their parents.

[Anonymous]

My sons grew up playing ice hockey and either me or my went went to every game. Now my son plays in college about 400 miles away and we try to see him play once a month for a pair of games if possible. When its over its over.

[Anonymous]

We generally go. We enjoy it. If we didn't, we might only send one parent, but we enjoy it.

We also support our son and are engaged in the many non-athletic things he does.

My parents were fairly disengaged, and truth be told, more engagement (and some adult judgement) would have helped me develop my particular talents (not sports).

[Anonymous]

Swim team ~ you didn't mention swim team but why-on- earth does it take 30 volunteer parents to run a neighborhood swim meet.

[Anonymous]

Coaches sometimes (they shouldn't) make announcements after the games re: team news, sometimes too complicated for the kids to relay back to the parents. One year the roster for the "All Star Tournament" was decided by the coach approaching parents and soliciting a commitment.

[Anonymous]

I will strive for us to go to as many games as we can. With 3 kids, I know there will come a time that they will overlap and we won't be able to.

When I was little my mom went to every gymnastics meet and dance show. My dad, even when he was home from deployments, rarely went. And I remember being sad that he always had something else to do. And it was never something important. He's still that way. Obviously not watching me play a sport. But when it comes time to get together he always seems to have other plans. Playing golf, hanging out with friends etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I will strive for us to go to as many games as we can. With 3 kids, I know there will come a time that they will overlap and we won't be able to.

When I was little my mom went to every gymnastics meet and dance show. My dad, even when he was home from deployments, rarely went. And I remember being sad that he always had something else to do. And it was never something important. He's still that way. Obviously not watching me play a sport. But when it comes time to get together he always seems to have other plans. Playing golf, hanging out with friends etc.

Yeah, I know how you feel. My Dad has always been this way too. My mom passed away early in my life and I wonder if it would have been different if that hadn't happened. Thinking about this is one reason I try to stay involved with my kids and to let them know I'm interested in their lives. We have three kids and they are older now and fairly indepedent (high school and college age) but I think they enjoy when we make a little bit of a fuss over them.

[Anonymous]

One of us usually will go. We have to drive them there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Growing up, my parents came to my games when they could. Which was not that often. They had to work. But we spent TONS of time as a family at nite and on the weekends. I felt loved. Never felt neglected. And to tell you the truth: HAD NO EXPECTATION that they had to come.

When did this change?

I CERTAINLY see the pro's...

But what about the con's?

For example, I played soccer and volleyball for the love of the game. It was mine. It was for me. And my team. my soul sisters. I LOVED every minute of it. And when my parents could come visit my world, i was glad. But when they couldn't, I paid it no mind.

Are we taking the love of the game away from our kids by micromanaging and attending every game? Will my kid be the only one who doesn't have a parent at every game?

I'm with you, OP! I was not/am not a super athlete (more of an orchestra/dancer type), but ended up playing field hockey in middle school, soccer in high school, and then field hockey in college. I was always on the JV team and you know what, I LOVED it. No pressure to be awesome but all of the fun and benefits of athletics. My parents just dropped me off at practices and told me to have fun. I grew up in a time before "everyone was a winner" at games, so I learned what is like to get crushed at a game, but also how to grow from the experience.

My 3 year old DD seems more naturally athletic than I am, so I am thinking that she will me more first-string than I was, and I will be supportive of whatever sport she wants to be in. I'll be at a lot of games, but not all of them.

I think it's good to show her that she needs inner drive, determination, and practice, not exterior validation to play well. Plus, I think she'll remember the things we do together, do yoga and dance to zumba videos, more than me sitting on the sidelines during a game.

[Anonymous]

My parents never attended any of my games, and my teammates had the same experience. I never thought it was weird nor did I feel deprived. I loved hanging with my friends and I think my parents' presence would've impeded that.