Remove SN from Recent Topics

[Anonymous]

jsteele wrote:Just to clarify the providence of this thread. The suggestion to remove this forum from Recent Posts was made in another thread which I was not reading. Probably anticipating that, someone emailed me the suggestion and drew my attention to that thread I suggested that this thread should be created to discuss the idea and get feedback from forum members. Frankly, I don't really care what people who don't normally participate in this forum think about the idea. If you don't normally participate in this forum and are for some reason outraged by the suggestion, please contact me and I will refer you to a number of issues much more worthy of your anger. For those who do participate in this forum, I appreciate your input regardless of where you come down on keeping the forum in Recent Posts.

provenance

[Anonymous]

My kids are not technically SN, so take this opinion for what it is worth. But I posted here a number of times about issues where SN parents have a lot of experience and expertise - headbanging, low tone, academic issues that may be nothing or may be a sign of ADHD or something else. So I hope my opinion is relevant.

I think it would be a big mistake to wall this forum off from Recent Posts or change it to exclude anything other than support. If this forum were hidden, I wouldn't have gotten such amazing advice (and yes, support) when I had concerns or my kids were struggling. If it were not on Recent Posts, I wouldn't have known to chime in on conversations where I had something useful to add from our experience. I don't think it would eliminate the trolls, since they go looking to stir things up - it would just eliminate the rest of us well-meaning parents with many commonalities (and many differences) from SN parents, who should be part of the conversation, not excluded from it.

[jsteele]

Anonymous wrote:

jsteele wrote:Just to clarify the providence of this thread. The suggestion to remove this forum from Recent Posts was made in another thread which I was not reading. Probably anticipating that, someone emailed me the suggestion and drew my attention to that thread I suggested that this thread should be created to discuss the idea and get feedback from forum members. Frankly, I don't really care what people who don't normally participate in this forum think about the idea. If you don't normally participate in this forum and are for some reason outraged by the suggestion, please contact me and I will refer you to a number of issues much more worthy of your anger. For those who do participate in this forum, I appreciate your input regardless of where you come down on keeping the forum in Recent Posts.

provenance

Some day I will learn to spell. Until then, I humbly ask for your patience.

[Anonymous]

I have an SN kid, post here regularly, and would prefer that the forum be taken out of Recent Topics. Any parent of a special needs child will find the forum easily.

[Anonymous]

I think the issue is getting blurred. Taking SN out of "Recent Topics" will in no way exclude posters, wall off the forum, prohibit information-seeking, lurking, or posting by non-SN parents or somehow promote censorship, which would require that posts be deleted by an authority. It simply means that "juicy sounding" posts on the SN Forum don't pop up in the list of today's posts.

I don't see how this issue relates to information by the troubled or newly diagnosed, or even the SN curious. They are unlikely to be enticed here by Recent Topics. They would probably open the Forum. It is the lurid posts, the juicy posts, the "My son can't get an IEP and the special needs kid gets to drink as much chocolate milk as he wants" type posts. Yes, I do see the value of keeping that out of Recent Topics.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This discussion is getting ridiculous. And to the poster whose kid is not SN but is accusing us of being "politically correct'' or whatever -- i remember your post. I dont think you are seeing the nuance of why your post was offensive. You said you were looking for information, but then when information was provided, you used it as a springboard to complain about how these diagnoseses and professionals were bogus -- kind of like you wanted to rant about the pervasiveness of the special needs industry, which is kind of offensive to us parents who have kids who truly are struggling.

But im not upset about the offensive posts. Im upset that my child struggles so much, which is why im come on this forum a lot -- i always get some information that is helps me help him. I could care less about the offensive posts from people i don't know. I'm much more wounded by the offensive posts by people i do know, and there are plenty of those.

And to those who accuse us of being martyrs -- you don't get it. I have a NT child and a SN child and the experience of raising a SN is just much more challenging. It just is. That doesn't make me a martyr. I wish it wasnt this way but it is. I can empathize with parents who are strurggling with their NT chilren, but id rather seek advice from parents in my shoes since they may have an experience that would be helpful

It's pretty telling that YOU used the phrase "special needs industry.". I NEVER said that. So, to suggest that some practitioners engage in questionable methods is insulting to those kids who are truly special needs? Got it. By all means we should divert resources to kids who don't truly need them when so many clearly do. And of course, as parents we should merely accept what every specialist has to say without engaging in due diligence or gathering second opinions, right? Got it. Glad I didn't follow the "advice" I've gotten here since subsequent opinions utterly contradicted what we were originally told. I'm sorry if my need to question offends you, but that says more about you than it does about me.

[Anonymous]

CAN WE PLEASE JUST CLOSE THIS THREAD? We are going in circles, over, and over, and over. OP, get a life, get a job, get a hobby, but stop being this forum's instigator!

[jsteele]

Anonymous wrote:CAN WE PLEASE JUST CLOSE THIS THREAD? We are going in circles, over, and over, and over. OP, get a life, get a job, get a hobby, but stop being this forum's instigator!

If people could drop the vitriol and still weigh in on the original question, that would be appreciated. I need to make a decision and would like to do so based on the best available information. Shouting at the OP or anyone else is not helping. You didn't even given your opinion about the original question.

[Anonymous]

How many are replying to this thread? It sounds like one or two people are having an arguement. Did the whole thing start with the soccer bully thread? Is this a common problem? ND attack SN parents?

[Anonymous]

As someone who has struggled recently with diagnosis, school resources, finding the right specialists etc, I frankly didn't find the forum all that helpful. Most people weighed in to tell me that I was burying my head in the sand (when I wasn't). I didn't find that I received any specific information that was particularly helpful. That said I think it makes no difference whether or not the thread shows up in recent topics or not. The real question is how you designate it. Is it a "discussion" forum or a "support" forum? OP and many other SN parents obviously feel it should be a support forum. Those of us looking for information simply need to know one way or the other what the purpose of the forum is so we know whether it is worth our time or not. I'm leaning toward not worth my time, personally. But others need clarification.

[Anonymous]

Parent of SN child here. Please keep the forum listed in Recent Topics. I appreciate all perspectives and welcome anyone with or without a SN child to chime in on any topic. I wouldn't want to reduce the number of people who access the forum and might potentially learn something useful. After all, "special needs" is a very wide topic.

[Anonymous]

I wonder if parents of kids with SN use this forum differently. I know I come here directly, not through the recent link, because I specifically want to be here to offer or receive support and advise.

I also don't think the idea of discussion is open ended here. It's one thing to ask the question "what do you think of social skills groups?" this will lead to a discussion with various points of view. It's another thing entirely to have a debate between parents of kids with SN and parents of typical kids about medication in general. The parents of typical kids might get something out of that - though I'm not sure what - but I don't think the rest of us do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Parent of SN child here. Please keep the forum listed in Recent Topics. I appreciate all perspectives and welcome anyone with or without a SN child to chime in on any topic. I wouldn't want to reduce the number of people who access the forum and might potentially learn something useful. After all, "special needs" is a very wide topic.

+1

If people want to request a closed-membership support forum, that's a different issue.

This is an anonymous internet forum, the same tired debates are going to come up here every time. SN families don't get a free pass, whether we like it or not. Honestly, my choices not related to SN parenting (SAH, breastfeeding, buying organic, no TV, etc.) get attacked on DCUM far more frequently and I just take that as what it is. I don't like perpetuating the stereotype that we are delicate petals who are so fragile as parents or SN kids that we need an internet bubble around us. If that's the way you feel, go to a closed-membership support forum and/or request that one be created here. Or just don't read anonymous postings that hurt your feelings, in whatever forum.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Parent of SN child here. Please keep the forum listed in Recent Topics. I appreciate all perspectives and welcome anyone with or without a SN child to chime in on any topic. I wouldn't want to reduce the number of people who access the forum and might potentially learn something useful. After all, "special needs" is a very wide topic.

+1

If people want to request a closed-membership support forum, that's a different issue.

This is an anonymous internet forum, the same tired debates are going to come up here every time. SN families don't get a free pass, whether we like it or not. Honestly, my choices not related to SN parenting (SAH, breastfeeding, buying organic, no TV, etc.) get attacked on DCUM far more frequently and I just take that as what it is. I don't like perpetuating the stereotype that we are delicate petals who are so fragile as parents or SN kids that we need an internet bubble around us. If that's the way you feel, go to a closed-membership support forum and/or request that one be created here. Or just don't read anonymous postings that hurt your feelings, in whatever forum.

+1000000%. There are lots and lots of closed support forums, go there if you don't want your feelings hurt, OP. I like THIS SN board b/c SNs is treated like any other topic. Please keep it in recent topics.

[Anonymous]

I just want to respond to the angry person who said we are all PC and jumped down her throat or whatever. I dont have time to get into your thread line by line, but i suggest you go back and look at it and why it was offensive. It wasnt because you asked questions. You were hostile and angry and dismissive about an area that a lot of us take very seriously because our children are struggling. Maybe your tone was perfect and we're all a bunch of PC oversensitives, or maybe, just maybe, you can take an undefensive look at your tone and ask yourself if there is some reason why your thread generated 7 screens of response?

Or perhaps you are perfect. I do hope your child never experiences real challenges.