Remove SN from Recent Topics

[Anonymous]

A suggestion was recently made to remove the Special Needs section from Recent Topics. The reason would be that recently there's been a problem with parents of typical kids coming onto SN threads and saying things that are insulting or inappropriate to parents of kids with SN. There's also the problem of posters who don't they are in the SN section because they've accessed it through Recent Topics and therefore don't realize they are writing something inappropriate for this context.

I think this is a great idea. It wouldn't keep anyone out, everyone would still have access to the SN section. But folks would take the initial step of seeking it out so they wouldn't come in accidentally and those who just want to kick up dirt won't have the same amount of temptation.

What do others think? I think it would be helpful for purposes of this discussion to identify if you are the parent of a child with SN or have some other connection. Thanks.

[Anonymous]

I agree with this idea.

I have one SN child.

[Anonymous]

I like this idea. I have two children with special needs.

[Anonymous]

I dont care either way, and wouldn't care if it was removed from recent topics (which i never knew existed, but in general, i have a problem with the kind of censorship this represents. Yes its annoying when people make insensitive comments, but this isnt the only place/venue we hear it -- the things I've heard in real life are much worse than anything i read here. I guess i feel squimish about trying to keep people out. I generally agree with the person on the related thread who said that it says something about your own anger issues if you cant handle the insensitive comment (i speak as someone who at one point was so angry about my child's special needs that i cut myself off from NT parents to avoid the insensitivity)

[Anonymous]

I like this idea. Thanks for suggesting.

[Anonymous]

I have no skin in this game, but seems to me there's more harm in further strengthening the bubble than being an open community.

[Anonymous]

I would also like to remove the relationship forum from recent topics, because happily married people come there and say mean things to those of us suffering abuse (why did you marry this jerk??) or infidelity (if only you had put out more often, he wouldn't have cheated).

While we're at it, please remove general parenting from the recent topics list. I'm very tired of being lectured by nannies, or pregnant people with no children, or people who are trying to conceive. They don't know what actual parents go through.

Thanks!

[Anonymous]

I'm torn but leaning against this proposal. I have a child with SN and really appreciate this forum, including the fact that it is generally much more civilized than some other parts of DCUM. I understand the desire to "defend" it from assholes. But, I find it not that hard to ignore the relatively infrequent obnoxious/inappropriate posts on here.

I also usually read DCUM via the Recent Topics function, because I am interested in the other issues discussed here too, and I'm afraid I would forget to check the SN forum as much if it were taken out of Recent Topics.

I also do think there's something to be said for the value of people with NT kids just happening across the posts about kids with SN and learning something from them.

And, I don't like the symbolism of segregating it from the rest of the parenting topics as if it is completely different, or somehow inappropriate for general readership (like the sexually explicit forum that doesn't show up in Recent Topics).

And of course, this being an anonymous forum, people could still come to the SN forum and post obnoxious things even if it were not in Recent Topics.

So I guess I would vote hesitantly against removing it, but I acknowledge it would not be the end of the world if it were removed.

[Anonymous]

I have never access a thread from Recent Topics and don't think it'll make much of a difference.

I vote "no" - I like this board b/c it's open and SN is treated like any other topic.

[Anonymous]

I don't agree and I have 2 kids with special needs. Why should the SN forum be hidden like it's something shameful?

I guess I'm not so sensitive about it because I too hear all sorts of these things (and worse) in real life. Maybe we as parents of kids with special needs can help educate people about the things we and our children face in real life.

[Anonymous]

OP again -- I forgot to mention I have two kids with SN.

[Anonymous]

I don't have an SN kid, so perhaps my vote doesn't count, but I would caution that by removing it from recent topics, you may be cutting down your readership considerably. If you wander over to the nanny board, people complain there that no one posts anymore. (Slightly different, as it has become a totally different board, but still.)

You might end up cannibalizing the forum.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have never access a thread from Recent Topics and don't think it'll make much of a difference.

I vote "no" - I like this board b/c it's open and SN is treated like any other topic.

I have a kid on the spectrum and I tell everyone in real life. I agree with pp that SNs is nothing to be ashamed of so why "hide" this board.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would also like to remove the relationship forum from recent topics, because happily married people come there and say mean things to those of us suffering abuse (why did you marry this jerk??) or infidelity (if only you had put out more often, he wouldn't have cheated).

While we're at it, please remove general parenting from the recent topics list. I'm very tired of being lectured by nannies, or pregnant people with no children, or people who are trying to conceive. They don't know what actual parents go through.

Thanks!

You do realize that this is a public forum and anything posted here is open for comment. If you feel something is offensive feel free to click the report button.

[Anonymous]

I am a volunteer at Jill's House, a respite center for children with special needs in the Tysons Corner area.

I would encourage the keeping of the SN forum in the Recent Topics as a way to help educate and enlighten those without special needs experience.