Why do I feel sympathetic towards the Dzhokhar Tsarnaev?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: I saw that man in the wheelchair with the flesh blown from his legs. That one spindly leg bone hanging down with no meat on it, and that gray shocked look on his face. I think of that sweet little boy who wanted peace, blown to bits and his sister's leg blown off. His momma with brain damage. Should I go on? The person who did this, chose to. And he look into the eyes of his victim as he dropped the bomb at their feet. He walked off knowing that they would be killed. He deserves no sympathy.

Can we politely agree that we have a slight difference of opinion and that's okay? As an echo of the teamwork we saw demonstrated in Boston, it'd be nice if this thread didn't dissolve into vitriol but a place for people to respectfully state their opinions. There is enough room here for all of our perspectives.

I have to say that when you are expressing sympathy for someone like this, it is probably better to just keep it to yourself, or tell your therapist. Not many people who live and breathe are going to be able to understand your point of view.

Well I don't have a therapist and the friends I've spoken about this with agree with me that calling him evil or insane is an easy answer, not the right answer, and that we are sorry for the lost potential of his life had just as we are sorry for the lost potential of the lives of all the victims. [Note: I am not calling him a victim of this crime] I am sorry for his soul that will have to carry the burden of this crime, and the suffering that will bring him.

Ok fine, find out what you can do for him. Set up a legal defence fund, bake some cookies. You could put his school photo on some vintage t-shirts and sell them at Berkley. Whatever makes you feel warm and fuzzy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is such an odd story. A kid who was smart (skipped a grade), popular, athletic, social and had a bright future. No sign of involvement with any radical organization or activities. No antisocial behavior. Just a typical teen.

The only thing I saw was that he had started failing courses in the last year. And that one girl said he acted oddly at her house (spread string cheese all over her couch). So something was going on. What I feel sympathy for is that when things started going wrong, that there wasn't someone ( a positive influence) there to step in and help him. I am guessing it was his brother he turned too and it sounds like his brother was possibly involved in radical organizations.

He also carried on after the bombing as though life was fine - went to class, to the gym, went to a party, posted on twitter. Almost like he completely compartmentalized or disassociated himself from what he did just a day or two before.

I too hold him fully responsible for his actions, he knew what he was doing but I am very interested in how he got caught up in this.

Yes, I agree with this! I keep seeing posts and hearing people say that the "good people" outweigh the "bad people" in this country...but what about the indifferent people? The people who consciously ignore those in need, the people who see a concerning change in a friend, relative, co-worker and do nothing. You aren't a good person just because you haven't committed heinous acts. It's the day to day indifference that scares me.

Re social support. It looks like the parents had returned to Chechnya a half-year or even a year ago. I'm going to guess this was because their mom's shoplifting arrest made it impossible for her to stay here in the US, so the dad accompanied the mom back home. But this begs the question, if mom was stealing dresses from Lord & Taylor, maybe this family wasn't an ideal support system even before the parents returned to Chechnya. Anyway, the parents are half a world away, and the brothers are living on I don't know what for money. The youngest is flunking out of college, and although it's not clear whether he couldn't do college level work or he just lost interest, either way his future is looking bleak. He's going to have to explain this to his parents. The remaining support system is the older brother.

None of this excuses sociopathy, of course. Plenty of people go through family stress and don't bomb innocent strangers.

[Anonymous]

I felt the same way about Malvo (DC sniper). He sounds like he was highly influenced by a man he never should've been around. Where were his parents? He was used to carry out someone else's mission.

[Anonymous]

What struck me about the pictures of the younger suspect at the Marathon was that he seemed to be smiling. Did anyone else notice that?

[Anonymous]

I don't feel sorry for him. What he did is so inhuman. Normally I am not a proponent of capital punishment, but sincerely hope he gets the death penalty.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe it is because my DH is of Eastern European descent and I see similarities in these boys facial features to my own boys and my nephews.

My husband and older son also look very similar to him, and I have felt a lot of sadness and have a heavy heart about these events as well. I think it just hits really close to home.

[Anonymous]

I read that Dzhokhar's parents got a divorce. I do feel for the boy he was a few years ago, and wonder how he got to the place he was this week. What a journey. Also, he might legally be an adult, but as parents of teens learn, the brain does not mature until age 25. His brain still functions pretty much like that of a teen. He does remind me of Malvo, and my heart broke for him. DT was vulnerable on many counts, especially with no parents to visit on weekends or over holidays. It's more compassionate curiosity that I feel. It's not sympathy. It's very sad. I feel anger towards the older brother.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What struck me about the pictures of the younger suspect at the Marathon was that he seemed to be smiling. Did anyone else notice that?

It is so hard to tell from a snippet. I saw photos of first responders who looked like they were smiling, dancing, indifferent. Were they - no, but without any context in the way the photo captured them at that second, it looked that way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: I saw that man in the wheelchair with the flesh blown from his legs. That one spindly leg bone hanging down with no meat on it, and that gray shocked look on his face. I think of that sweet little boy who wanted peace, blown to bits and his sister's leg blown off. His momma with brain damage. Should I go on? The person who did this, chose to. And he look into the eyes of his victim as he dropped the bomb at their feet. He walked off knowing that they would be killed. He deserves no sympathy.

Can we politely agree that we have a slight difference of opinion and that's okay? As an echo of the teamwork we saw demonstrated in Boston, it'd be nice if this thread didn't dissolve into vitriol but a place for people to respectfully state their opinions. There is enough room here for all of our perspectives.

I have to say that when you are expressing sympathy for someone like this, it is probably better to just keep it to yourself, or tell your therapist. Not many people who live and breathe are going to be able to understand your point of view.

Well I don't have a therapist and the friends I've spoken about this with agree with me that calling him evil or insane is an easy answer, not the right answer, and that we are sorry for the lost potential of his life had just as we are sorry for the lost potential of the lives of all the victims. [Note: I am not calling him a victim of this crime] I am sorry for his soul that will have to carry the burden of this crime, and the suffering that will bring him.

Ok fine, find out what you can do for him. Set up a legal defence fund, bake some cookies. You could put his school photo on some vintage t-shirts and sell them at Berkley. Whatever makes you feel warm and fuzzy.

There is no need to be rude. I just think the decline of a seemingly normal, happy, well-adjusted, 19-year-old student into a domestic terrorist is something to grieve. No one's talking about supporting his defense or idolizing him in any way, but those of us who see the complexities of the world are left feeling sad about the entirety of the circumstances here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I read that Dzhokhar's parents got a divorce. I do feel for the boy he was a few years ago, and wonder how he got to the place he was this week. What a journey. Also, he might legally be an adult, but as parents of teens learn, the brain does not mature until age 25. His brain still functions pretty much like that of a teen. He does remind me of Malvo, and my heart broke for him. DT was vulnerable on many counts, especially with no parents to visit on weekends or over holidays. It's more compassionate curiosity that I feel. It's not sympathy. It's very sad. I feel anger towards the older brother.

+1

[Anonymous]

This thread literally is making me ill. Please come to police week in may and talk to the surviving families of deceased law enforcement officers like the MIT officer they shot in cold blood. Tell them how a hug and cuddle will make this 19 year old terrorist all better.

Better yet, how about we release him into your care with your kids.

Fucking loonies.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I read that Dzhokhar's parents got a divorce. I do feel for the boy he was a few years ago, and wonder how he got to the place he was this week. What a journey. Also, he might legally be an adult, but as parents of teens learn, the brain does not mature until age 25. His brain still functions pretty much like that of a teen. He does remind me of Malvo, and my heart broke for him. DT was vulnerable on many counts, especially with no parents to visit on weekends or over holidays. It's more compassionate curiosity that I feel. It's not sympathy. It's very sad. I feel anger towards the older brother.

Yes. A broken home made him a terrorist. Made him shoot a cop dead.

Made him run over his brothers body.

What is wrong with you.

[Anonymous]

16:35 I didn't saw that it was causal. The divorce was was not being mentioned. There were lots of things that made him vulnerable. Parents divorce. Mother gets arrested for shoplifting and can't come back to U.S. without facing charges. Parents return to wherever they went. He no longer has a U.S. parental home. Who knows how his brother influenced him.

Of course no one thing made him do it. I just wonder how, given what his high school and college classmates said about him, and how bright his future seemed a few short years ago, he could become what he became.

I can wonder all that, and still think what he and his brother did was horrific. It's not either/or.

FYI: He ran over his brother's body going in reverse, I don't know if it was intentional, and do not see how you could.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This thread literally is making me ill. Please come to police week in may and talk to the surviving families of deceased law enforcement officers like the MIT officer they shot in cold blood. Tell them how a hug and cuddle will make this 19 year old terrorist all better.

Better yet, how about we release him into your care with your kids.

Fucking loonies.

Oh please. I work in this field and it still saddens me to see young people who are misdirected committing such grave attacks. You can grieve for the loss and still have compassion for the aggressor.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What struck me about the pictures of the younger suspect at the Marathon was that he seemed to be smiling. Did anyone else notice that?

It is so hard to tell from a snippet. I saw photos of first responders who looked like they were smiling, dancing, indifferent. Were they - no, but without any context in the way the photo captured them at that second, it looked that way.

Difference is, they weren't about to murder or harm hundreds of people.