Why do I feel sympathetic towards the Dzhokhar Tsarnaev?

[Anonymous]

I may be flamed for this - I cannot help but feel a sadness and sorrow for this 19 year old young man. I do not - in any way - condone what he and his brother did! I am from Boston and have a boy the same age as the young boy that was killed. It is just that I see in his eyes a troubled young man. I hear the stories of how he was just another "normal" teenager, I hear the interviews with his poor father, I hear the description of how they are guarding him in the hospital. WHAT HAPPENS TO A YOUNG MAN TO GO FROM NORMAL TEENAGER TO TERRORIST?
It scares me - I have two boys who are bright and impressionable and sweet and my babies. Maybe it is because my DH is of Eastern European descent and I see similarities in these boys facial features to my own boys and my nephews. I want to reach out to him and get in his head and heart and understand what has damaged him. He was a little boy - not so long ago - how does this happen????

[Anonymous]

I've had the same feelings. It seems like he was brainwashed and was, at one point, a nice child with a bright future ahead of him.

[Anonymous]

I agree. Very sad for all the lives lost and damaged, including his.

[Anonymous]

Free will..he had a choice..every time you feel bad think of the eight year he put a bomb next too..this will cure you of feeling bad

[Anonymous]

OP it is likely that your children have empathy and would have the internal mechanism to NOT do something like this. His was broken. Maybe we'll find out why, but the fact remains that he didn't have it. This is what makes someone a sociopath. He is small and child like which would make anyone think of hi as being tender and impressionable. Would any of us feel the same way if he looked like a 250 lb thug or the face of a hardened criminal? I doubt it.

He is not like your children.

[Anonymous]

Because he's white and good looking, basically. People are literally that dumb.

[Anonymous]

It is such an odd story. A kid who was smart (skipped a grade), popular, athletic, social and had a bright future. No sign of involvement with any radical organization or activities. No antisocial behavior. Just a typical teen.

The only thing I saw was that he had started failing courses in the last year. And that one girl said he acted oddly at her house (spread string cheese all over her couch). So something was going on. What I feel sympathy for is that when things started going wrong, that there wasn't someone ( a positive influence) there to step in and help him. I am guessing it was his brother he turned too and it sounds like his brother was possibly involved in radical organizations.

He also carried on after the bombing as though life was fine - went to class, to the gym, went to a party, posted on twitter. Almost like he completely compartmentalized or disassociated himself from what he did just a day or two before.

I too hold him fully responsible for his actions, he knew what he was doing but I am very interested in how he got caught up in this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP it is likely that your children have empathy and would have the internal mechanism to NOT do something like this. His was broken. Maybe we'll find out why, but the fact remains that he didn't have it. This is what makes someone a sociopath. He is small and child like which would make anyone think of hi as being tender and impressionable. Would any of us feel the same way if he looked like a 250 lb thug or the face of a hardened criminal? I doubt it.

He is not like your children.

But there is no evidence from anyone around him that he didn't have empathy or that he had sociopathic traits - no evidence of fire setting or hurting people or animals. He wasn't a charmer, he wasn't odd. It seems no one had any idea he didn't have the internal mechanism necessary to stop himself which is what makes him scary because that could be exactly like any one of our kids. Maybe they are broken too but we don't know.

[Anonymous]

I agree with you OP. I don't think we know yet for sure what the real story is, and it is really strange hearing so many American people - college students, friends, neighbors, etc vouch for him in such a positive way. He is only a suspect, not convicted. I look forward to him having his day in court so we can hear more about the "real" story.

[Anonymous]

he calmly walked away as body parts and the screams of innocent people filled the air because of what he did. He went to a party the next day, he behaved as if nothing had happened to darken his mood - probably because, in fact, nothing had happened to dark his mood. Sympathy for him is a bit beyond my capabilities at this point.

[Anonymous]

He's an adult FFS and he is responsible for his actions... I may be sorry that a smartish guy like him got deluded like this (as it appears) but that will not equate to sympathy for him.

He is not a victim, he's a murderer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He's an adult FFS and he is responsible for his actions... I may be sorry that a smartish guy like him got deluded like this (as it appears) but that will not equate to sympathy for him.

He is not a victim, he's a murderer.

Yeah sympathy isn't the right word, but I agree with what OP and others are saying - that it defies logic at this point and an explanation would be helpful in understanding what factors might have led to him doing this. No one is saying he is a victim or not responsible.

[Anonymous]

He actually tweeted that there was no love in the city and for everyone to be safe after it happened, pretending he was looking out for his friends after the incident. HE DID IT. There is pure evil in the world. I'd rather spend my energies learning to keep our Nation safe from it than have any sympathy whatsoever towards this calculating monster. Enough people have died and been maimed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He's an adult FFS and he is responsible for his actions... I may be sorry that a smartish guy like him got deluded like this (as it appears) but that will not equate to sympathy for him.

He is not a victim, he's a murderer.

Exactly. I appreciate the kindness that's behind the concerns voiced by OP and others, but you're mistakenly applying "normal people" logic to this situation. As someone who has very troubled family members with personality disorders, I can tell you that you're off base in trying to identify a rational reason for this man's actions. He doesn't have the same world view or motivations you have. What's logical and rational to him is probably not something kind and empathetic people can ever really grasp.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He's an adult FFS and he is responsible for his actions... I may be sorry that a smartish guy like him got deluded like this (as it appears) but that will not equate to sympathy for him.

He is not a victim, he's a murderer.

Exactly. I appreciate the kindness that's behind the concerns voiced by OP and others, but you're mistakenly applying "normal people" logic to this situation. As someone who has very troubled family members with personality disorders, I can tell you that you're off base in trying to identify a rational reason for this man's actions. He doesn't have the same world view or motivations you have. What's logical and rational to him is probably not something kind and empathetic people can ever really grasp.

But usually there is a reason why people act in a way that is illogical or irrational to our world view and motivation. In the case of your family that is because they have personality disorders. For other people it is political or religious radicalism. There are usually indicators that someone has a world view that is out of synch with everyone around them. That is how people get diagnosed. They don't think the same so they don't talk or act the same as you or I because they are driven by different motivators. however there is no indication here that he showed any signs of having a personality disorder or a reasonable explanation for why his thinking might be distorted to the point that this act was logical or rational to him.