Which is "worse", major ADHD or minor Aspergers?
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Anonymous
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My point is not that your child cannot go to an ivy league school because he has AS. My point is that very few students in general go to ivy league schools, I don't care where you and your DH are legacies. There are a lot of legacies out there and most children of legacies do not get in. You have younger children and perhaps you don't know what its like out there but I have one in the college app process and i can tell you that the students who have grown up with the "expectation" of going to an ivy league school feel a lot of unhealthy pressure.
There are a lot of great colleges out there. Both me and DH went to ivies. My expectations for my children -- NT and AS -- are that they go to the best college for them. That is not lowering their expectations. I will not judge how well my DS with AS has done by the prestige of his college admission. |
Anonymous
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And I would add, having a teen with AS, that it is very easy to fall into the trap of relying on their strengths for bragging rights in the face of all those competitive parents out there. Highly intelligent kids with AS face obstacles that are more formidable than their intellect.
The gift of having a SC with SN is watching those competitive parents stress out over every little thing. I can enjoy everything my DS does for its own sake. That is not lowering expectations, that is living in the moment. |
Anonymous
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Thank you both PPs. That was very helpful and yes, I realize I'm still coming to terms with my child's diagnosis. It's nice to get perspectives from other parents who have been through the same and who have older kids. My DH has a much easier time of it probably due to his culture and background. His parents were never "pushy". My parents were hard charging immigrants even my mother with the suspected AS so I know it's all partly due to the type of parents and parenting model I had. (Hard to push down that inner tiger mom - but I will try for my son's sake).
We had long discussions about this exact issue with our developmental pediatrician and the conclusion we agreed was the same as your which is to live for the moment and enjoy the small victories. My main concern is that my child be happy so I will take everything both of you said to heart. Thanks again. Back to addressing OP's topic: Yesterday, my son and I were going over his class photo and he pointed out one of his friends who was in the same class as him since preK. This child I'll refer to as "X" was the class trouble maker - throwing furniture and raising mayham so that the classroom had to be cleared, etc. So I asked DS if X was getting into trouble again this year? "No, X said that his 'mind was a mess last year' but it's OK now. He never gets into trouble anymore." I thought that was a pretty good description of ADHD and very inciteful by X. My child and X were the Mutt and Jeff of their preK class last year: My son who refused to engage and wander around the room and X who would tear the classroom apart occasionally. The teachers dealt with the two of them lovingly but firmly and all in Mandarin Chinese which the kids in the classroom did not know when they entered school. Amazing classroom management. They are both doing very well this year, the AS kid and the formerly "severe" ADHD kid. Best wishes all! And may everyone find a school that will help their kids. |
Anonymous
| I am 10 and have slight asperger's. I have no sensory disorders. Most kids with severe adhd symptoms are more obvious if they are not treated at an early age. Same with asperger's. People think asperger's is worse than it actually is. I just have some behavior disorders now. Your Answer:severe ADHD is worse. |
Anonymous
| Worse for whom? The child or those who live with them? And like other posters said, how and if they are being treated and hw early makes a massive difference. Also what other gifts they have and where in the country they are, what their interests are, their parents and home life etc. there is not a better or wise for a disorder, there is only how it is for you and the people who advocate or love you. |
Anonymous
| ADHD |
Anonymous
Interesting. Do you have an IEP? How has school been for you over the years? What types of behaviors are an issue for you if you don't mind my asking. My child has mild aspergers and mild ADHD do I am always curious about this. I wish you all the best and hope you get great teachers every year! |
Anonymous
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OP, as the mom of two SN kids, I disagree with your premise. I love my DS with Asperbergers. I know parents of kids who have ADHD requiring medication, OCD, even Downs, who cherish their kids. "Worse?"
Worst of all is a parent's attitude. Free your mind. Oh, and get a professional diagnosis. Never trust the net on anything. |
Anonymous
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Since the thread was originally posted in March, OP hopefully knows whether it's ADHD and/or Asperger's.
I posted above as 12:24. As a follow up, my DS's friend with ADHD has switched to another school. According to his mom, her son was not learning much even with medication so she thought it best that he go to a school that was only in English and not 50/50 immersion language/English. |
Anonymous
+1000 |
Anonymous
How was the label hurtful? |
Anonymous
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Its not a label, its a medical diagnosis. Kids aren't cans of soup. This seems to be the only area in which we disparage medical diagnoses as "labels." It just perpetuates the feeling of shame.
My DS has both ADHD and AS. These aren't labels, they are his medical diagnoses and like all medical diagnoses, they don't define him. |
Anonymous
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anyone with ADHD "has" the "H"
People think that the "H" stands for hyperactivity, as in the kid is hyper in the sense that they are climbing the walls hyperactive In fact, the "H" in ADHD DOES stand for hyperactivity, but it refers to brain activity, not the energy level of the kid. Anyone who has ADHD HAS brain hyperactivity. Now, the way that hyperactivity presents itself can vary: some people "act" inattentive, and some people "act" hyperactive. But ALL of them have ADHD. Its a function of brain activity. |
Anonymous
Agree. It's ridiculous. The people who complain about a "label" usually mean they wish their child did not have the diagnosis and the accompanying deficits (like without the diagnosis/label the deficits would not exist?) or their child was misdiagnosed. Yes, a misdiagnosis is always "bad"... |
Anonymous
I have a child with Asperger's who the developmental pediatrician describes as "classic Asperger's". No ADHD, any learning disabilities or anxiety according to our recent neuropsych eval only ASD/Asperger's. No academic issues at all, if fact, academics are a strength. He does have fine motor issues but no other sensory issues. His IEP only addresses social issues and behavior. I was told this is very common for Aspies and the main reason most people with AS are not diagnosed. Social deficits were not considered important by schools who are mainly concerned with academics. |