Not a Drop Off Party

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Annoying. Part of the fun of birthday parties is talking/meeting/getting to know the parents of my kids friends. It's not free babysitting. If you want that, suggest playdates. Those can be drop off.

+100 Great time to meet other parents.

I absolutely agree with this in general, but that isn't what ends up happening. All birthday parties since my children turned 5 have been slumber parties at our house. Should the parents have all stayed the night? Many do stay and have a drink, but then they leave and, if they don't have any other kids, they usually go out. They aren't using me for childcare, but it is the upside to someone inviting your kid somewhere.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Annoying. Part of the fun of birthday parties is talking/meeting/getting to know the parents of my kids friends. It's not free babysitting. If you want that, suggest playdates. Those can be drop off.

+100 Great time to meet other parents.

I absolutely agree with this in general, but that isn't what ends up happening. All birthday parties since my children turned 5 have been slumber parties at our house. Should the parents have all stayed the night? Many do stay and have a drink, but then they leave and, if they don't have any other kids, they usually go out. They aren't using me for childcare, but it is the upside to someone inviting your kid somewhere.

Note that the kids in attendance have been as young as 3, and I have had many 4 year olds. I knew what I was getting into when I invited them, of course, and I made sure I was prepared.

[Anonymous]

I would at least call the references that I had spoken to in advance of hiring her and let them know so that there is at least a chance of it being passed on to other prospective parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would at least call the references that I had spoken to in advance of hiring her and let them know so that there is at least a chance of it being passed on to other prospective parents.

Oops, wrong thread. This was for the abusive nanny thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I hosted a laser tag party for my son recently. I had a mom ask me when the kid arrived if she could drop him off.

In case you haven't been to one, its dark and pretty hard to keep track of people inside the playing area.

I felt uncomfortable that she waited until that day to ask me. I know it's common at that age, but she put me on the spot, and I didn't feel comfortable chasing my two kids AND her kid, who I didn't know around a dark arena.
Please ask before the party if you can. Please don't wait until the day of...

Why are you chasing your two kids around during the laser tag game? If your kid is old if enough to shoot his friends he is old enough to run around a room with them without you overing over him.

[Anonymous]

My daughter just turned 5 and has not been to a single drop off party. This must vary quite greatly among preschools and social circles.

[Anonymous]

The kids in our circle are all turning 5 and no one is dropping off, yet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hosted a laser tag party for my son recently. I had a mom ask me when the kid arrived if she could drop him off.

In case you haven't been to one, its dark and pretty hard to keep track of people inside the playing area.

I felt uncomfortable that she waited until that day to ask me. I know it's common at that age, but she put me on the spot, and I didn't feel comfortable chasing my two kids AND her kid, who I didn't know around a dark arena.
Please ask before the party if you can. Please don't wait until the day of...

Why are you chasing your two kids around during the laser tag game? If your kid is old if enough to shoot his friends he is old enough to run around a room with them without you overing over him.

I agree. Can you explain more about why you were chasing them around the arena?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I hosted a laser tag party for my son recently. I had a mom ask me when the kid arrived if she could drop him off.

In case you haven't been to one, its dark and pretty hard to keep track of people inside the playing area.

I felt uncomfortable that she waited until that day to ask me. I know it's common at that age, but she put me on the spot, and I didn't feel comfortable chasing my two kids AND her kid, who I didn't know around a dark arena.

Please ask before the party if you can. Please don't wait until the day of...

Isn't that the whole point?

[Anonymous]

My child is 5 and we go to lots of birthday parties. We have only ben to 1 drop off party and that was for a 6 year old. I am surprised by all of you who do drop off for 4 year olds...I would never be able to host and watch a bunch of 4 year olds well enough to feel comfortable. I have a boy though, maybe girls are easier.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I drop my child off because I've got 3 other children and don't want to be hauling them all into your house/party. But I wouldn't drop off if my child couldn't handle it. She can use the bathroom by herself, will follow instructions, stay with the group, etc. So saying snacks or whatever will be provided for parents would not entice me to stay.

Yes, this. If all you do is mention snacks for parents, I would just assume that meant parents are "welcome to stay" but not "required" or even "requested."

I too, have 4 kids...and if my husband has a work or other obligation that day, I would not be able to stay with my child at your child's party, unless you also wanted to host ALL of my kids...and well, that has already been hotly debated on DCUM. Anyway, you may find that for many in your child's guest list, they have the same situation and they would either have to 1) drop off 2)bring a few siblings, or 3)just decline the invite.

I think you have lost perspective. The party isn't free child care. The parents need to have time to focus on the their child and run the party. Your child at 4, still needs help at a stranger's house at a party where almost every other kid has a parent.
Yes, you have 4 kids and your youngest is one of them. You as the parent need to make the time for your 4th child and that means that sometimes you need to arrange the schedule so that your older ones go somewhere via carpool or maybe don't go.

It's easy to say to that it doesn't matter because it's only a 4 yr old bday party but the attitude is pervasive and soon it will be it doesn't matter because it's just the 2nd grade recital or the 8th grade play.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My child is 5 and we go to lots of birthday parties. We have only ben to 1 drop off party and that was for a 6 year old. I am surprised by all of you who do drop off for 4 year olds...I would never be able to host and watch a bunch of 4 year olds well enough to feel comfortable. I have a boy though, maybe girls are easier.

Right, when you host a party that is drop off, you typically make sure that your spouse and another adult or two is around to help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I drop my child off because I've got 3 other children and don't want to be hauling them all into your house/party. But I wouldn't drop off if my child couldn't handle it. She can use the bathroom by herself, will follow instructions, stay with the group, etc. So saying snacks or whatever will be provided for parents would not entice me to stay.

Yes, this. If all you do is mention snacks for parents, I would just assume that meant parents are "welcome to stay" but not "required" or even "requested."

I too, have 4 kids...and if my husband has a work or other obligation that day, I would not be able to stay with my child at your child's party, unless you also wanted to host ALL of my kids...and well, that has already been hotly debated on DCUM. Anyway, you may find that for many in your child's guest list, they have the same situation and they would either have to 1) drop off 2)bring a few siblings, or 3)just decline the invite.

I think you have lost perspective. The party isn't free child care. The parents need to have time to focus on the their child and run the party. Your child at 4, still needs help at a stranger's house at a party where almost every other kid has a parent.
Yes, you have 4 kids and your youngest is one of them. You as the parent need to make the time for your 4th child and that means that sometimes you need to arrange the schedule so that your older ones go somewhere via carpool or maybe don't go.

It's easy to say to that it doesn't matter because it's only a 4 yr old bday party but the attitude is pervasive and soon it will be it doesn't matter because it's just the 2nd grade recital or the 8th grade play.

As another parent of 4 kids I find this statement interresting. We have chosen to not attend every party that each of our 4 kids is invited to so that we are not "those parents" that just drop kids off. And do you know what has happend for 8 out of 10 parties we have turned down...the hosts have said we should drop off the kid for the party!! When we RSVP we do not say why we can not atten we do something along the lines of "Larla won't be able to attend the party we hope Sally has a fabulous celebration." Maybe it is just our social circle but most families we know have multiple kids and don't have an issue with drop offs. As PP have said please be clear. I love the wording along the lines of "If you won't be able to stay with your child please let us know so we can ensure aduquate adult supervision." I am also a huge fan of hiring some young teens to help out at the party so that as a host I don't have to be trying to run everything. If any of the kids you are inviting happen to have an older sibling that is 12+ ask the parents if you could hire them for the party. It will be the best $20 you have ever spent.

[Anonymous]

I only drop off at that age if my child knows the host family well and we've already discussed it, or there's another parent I know who will be there and has agreed to keep an eye on my kid. And even then, with a 3-4 year old I would only drop off if I really had a tough schedule with my older kids' activities.

[Anonymous]

We never did drop off until kids were 5 so I'm surprised that people are dropping off 3 and 4 year olds. Most kids that age still require a certain amount of supervision.