Not a Drop Off Party

[Anonymous]

I've read lots of posts about how to tell parents that you're having a drop off party or that drop off is optional, but what if I DON'T want a drop off party? Our child is turning four, and I just assumed that people didn't drop off at this age, but based on prior party experiences with his class, it seems like there are a handful of parents who are perfectly comfortable dropping off their 3-4 year olds at parties. Perhaps other children are more self-sufficient than mine, but I would constantly be worrying about the other kids - what if they had to go to the bathroom, needed help with their cake, whatever. It seems odd to me to write "this is not a drop off party on the invitation," but should I say something to the parents ahead of time?

[Anonymous]

Maybe say something on the invite about snacks/drinks for the parents so make it clear they are expected and wanted to stay?

[Anonymous]

I think you do need to indicate that parents are expected to stay. My 4 year old is a third child and it takes a lot of planning to get her to a party where we're expected to stay. Need to know ahead of time.

[Anonymous]

"Please plan to stay with your child." Some people will roll their eyes, but so what?

[Anonymous]

I like what 13:50 suggested. If you write snack/lunch and drinks will be provided for parents I think that covers you.

[Anonymous]

I drop my child off because I've got 3 other children and don't want to be hauling them all into your house/party. But I wouldn't drop off if my child couldn't handle it. She can use the bathroom by herself, will follow instructions, stay with the group, etc. So saying snacks or whatever will be provided for parents would not entice me to stay.

[Anonymous]

If you are particularly friendly with two or three other moms who might be coming, I would ask them if they could stay so you will definitely have help. Then if a few families need to drop off because of siblings, they could be able to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I drop my child off because I've got 3 other children and don't want to be hauling them all into your house/party. But I wouldn't drop off if my child couldn't handle it. She can use the bathroom by herself, will follow instructions, stay with the group, etc. So saying snacks or whatever will be provided for parents would not entice me to stay.

Yes, this. If all you do is mention snacks for parents, I would just assume that meant parents are "welcome to stay" but not "required" or even "requested."

I too, have 4 kids...and if my husband has a work or other obligation that day, I would not be able to stay with my child at your child's party, unless you also wanted to host ALL of my kids...and well, that has already been hotly debated on DCUM. Anyway, you may find that for many in your child's guest list, they have the same situation and they would either have to 1) drop off 2)bring a few siblings, or 3)just decline the invite.

[Anonymous]

OP here. I am OK as long as there is someone else watching the child -- for example, a parent could bring a child and another classmate; I don't necessarily need one parent per child, but I don't want to be the parent responsible for the child if I'm hosting the party. There was an accident at a party I was at last weekend. It wasn't bad, but it required parental attention.

Question for parents who drop off at that age: do you normally ask ahead of time? Or assume it's ok? I'm wondering if instead of saying something in the invite, if I can expect the parent to raise it with me and state that I would prefer they not drop off? There is one child in particular that I am concerned about (the others seem to be more self-sufficient).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I am OK as long as there is someone else watching the child -- for example, a parent could bring a child and another classmate; I don't necessarily need one parent per child, but I don't want to be the parent responsible for the child if I'm hosting the party. There was an accident at a party I was at last weekend. It wasn't bad, but it required parental attention.

Question for parents who drop off at that age: do you normally ask ahead of time? Or assume it's ok? I'm wondering if instead of saying something in the invite, if I can expect the parent to raise it with me and state that I would prefer they not drop off? There is one child in particular that I am concerned about (the others seem to be more self-sufficient).

No OP, no one is going to ask you. Dropping off is quite common at 4.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I am OK as long as there is someone else watching the child -- for example, a parent could bring a child and another classmate; I don't necessarily need one parent per child, but I don't want to be the parent responsible for the child if I'm hosting the party. There was an accident at a party I was at last weekend. It wasn't bad, but it required parental attention.

Question for parents who drop off at that age: do you normally ask ahead of time? Or assume it's ok? I'm wondering if instead of saying something in the invite, if I can expect the parent to raise it with me and state that I would prefer they not drop off? There is one child in particular that I am concerned about (the others seem to be more self-sufficient).

And you know that one child's parents will be the ones who drop off -- I've seen it happen.

[Anonymous]

When my child was 4, there was only one drop off party in her whole class and at least half of the parents stayed.

I don't think you'd necessarily need all the parents, but a few extra helping hands would be nice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I am OK as long as there is someone else watching the child -- for example, a parent could bring a child and another classmate; I don't necessarily need one parent per child, but I don't want to be the parent responsible for the child if I'm hosting the party. There was an accident at a party I was at last weekend. It wasn't bad, but it required parental attention.

Regardless of whether or not all the parents attend, you still ARE responsible as the host. Plus, when you get a lot of the parents together at the party, with drinks (alcoholic?) and snacks, they will not necessarily be hovering over their kid. They will congregate and chat and ignore their kids, while the kids run wild and raise bloody hell in your living room. If anything, requiring parents attend will just 1) increase the amount you spend on food and drinks 2) prolong the party, as parents will be chatting and don't want to leave. With a drop off/pick up party, there is a definite end time--people tend to linger more if they've already been hanging out for a couple hours.

[Anonymous]

Ask your friends!

[Anonymous]

I am surprised people assume that a 4 year old party is drop off. At that age, I would only do it if the host encouraged it. Figure some of the kids are only 3.. In my circle drop off really only started being assumed when the kids were in K...everyone was 5 or older. But based on the other responses, my preschool must have been the minority. Do you have family or can you hire a teen helper to help with supervision? Another option would be to mention to the moms you know best that you would be grateful if they stayed... I am sure they will!