Smoking Pot Question from Naive Parent

[Anonymous]

My DC went to both public and private high schools. Drugs, mostly weed, were at both. I was not really surprised. What *DID* surprise me was that at the private independent DC school, too many of the *PARENTS* had a "don't ask, don't tell" policy, meaning "if you don't come in totally wasted or you and your FRIENDS are not too loud and crazy in the basement, I will not ask if you were smoking weed or drinking and you are not to tell me".

This attitude blew my mind.

[Anonymous]

Growing up in the DC area, the kids who went to the independent private schools, especially in DC, were the troubled kids who likewise did a lot more drugs than in public school.

[Anonymous]

PP again - but catholic school had way less drugs - wayyy less

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:PP again - but catholic school had way less drugs - wayyy less

But more drinking. Wayyyyy more drinking.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:PP again - but catholic school had way less drugs - wayyy less

I don't believe this for a minute.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DC went to both public and private high schools. Drugs, mostly weed, were at both. I was not really surprised. What *DID* surprise me was that at the private independent DC school, too many of the *PARENTS* had a "don't ask, don't tell" policy, meaning "if you don't come in totally wasted or you and your FRIENDS are not too loud and crazy in the basement, I will not ask if you were smoking weed or drinking and you are not to tell me".

This attitude blew my mind.

Agree with this. My DC attended a 16th bday party of private school kids where many of the kids were drinking, including the bday girl. The parents seemed to be aware of it. My DC had us pick her up early because she wasn't comfortable. I am not sure this is limited to the private schools but certainly seems to be very common in that group in our experience.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is very simple, you guys: where there is more money, there is better and easier accesses to drugs.

The end.

That makes no sense. I'd imagine its just like rest of society. If I want to buy drugs in DC, do I go hang out on Wisconsin Avenue in Georgetown? No.

Of course not. Because rich folks don't have to buy and sell on the street and risk getting arrested. They can do it behind closed doors, or in doctors offices

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DC went to both public and private high schools. Drugs, mostly weed, were at both. I was not really surprised. What *DID* surprise me was that at the private independent DC school, too many of the *PARENTS* had a "don't ask, don't tell" policy, meaning "if you don't come in totally wasted or you and your FRIENDS are not too loud and crazy in the basement, I will not ask if you were smoking weed or drinking and you are not to tell me".

This attitude blew my mind.

Agree with this. My DC attended a 16th bday party of private school kids where many of the kids were drinking, including the bday girl. The parents seemed to be aware of it. My DC had us pick her up early because she wasn't comfortable. I am not sure this is limited to the private schools but certainly seems to be very common in that group in our experience.

I agree that those parents are nuts, but you'll find them at both privates and public schools. We certainly have seen this at our kids' independent school, but I have also heard from friends with kids at Whitman and BCC that there have been very intense discussions among parents on this issue.

[Anonymous]

by the time some kids are juniors and certainly seniors, they are drinking. We do allow specific kids to drink in our house. We also allow them to drink at specific other houses. This gives us a lot more control. We talk to the other parents about who is involved and who has access to cars. Needless to say, there is all about facing reality and ensuring that there is no drinking and driving. The kids, so far, have bought in to this by policing each other. works for us, not everyone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:by the time some kids are juniors and certainly seniors, they are drinking. We do allow specific kids to drink in our house. We also allow them to drink at specific other houses. This gives us a lot more control. We talk to the other parents about who is involved and who has access to cars. Needless to say, there is all about facing reality and ensuring that there is no drinking and driving. The kids, so far, have bought in to this by policing each other. works for us, not everyone.

I guess I'm the Ultimate Naive Parent - but you've got to be kidding.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:by the time some kids are juniors and certainly seniors, they are drinking. We do allow specific kids to drink in our house. We also allow them to drink at specific other houses. This gives us a lot more control. We talk to the other parents about who is involved and who has access to cars. Needless to say, there is all about facing reality and ensuring that there is no drinking and driving. The kids, so far, have bought in to this by policing each other. works for us, not everyone.

Hey, is your kid Jeff the lazy slacker from the counseling out thread?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Notwithstanding the Bethesda mag article (read carefully and you will pick up major deficiencies in the methodology), it appears that in the private school community there is a fast social track with access and money, and a not so fast social track, and drug /alcohol use varies substantially between the groups. There are exceptions of course, but my sense is that in some schools (most?) there is great disparity in usage between the groups. Having attended pubic schools myself, I think the gap in some ways is at least as wide or wider in Local privates

Pretty much spot on, PP. This is exactly what I've seen with my kids at a DC independent school, as well as their friends at a wide range of independent and public schools in the area. I'd guess that at most schools about 10% of kids are on the fast track socially -- lots of partying and partaking of various substances. Most other kids will definitely try alcohol or pot at least once, but they're not getting wasted every weekend. The Bethesda mag article was a lot of hype.

What is a fast social track? Don't understand from context. I'd that like life in the fast lane?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:by the time some kids are juniors and certainly seniors, they are drinking. We do allow specific kids to drink in our house. We also allow them to drink at specific other houses. This gives us a lot more control. We talk to the other parents about who is involved and who has access to cars. Needless to say, there is all about facing reality and ensuring that there is no drinking and driving. The kids, so far, have bought in to this by policing each other. works for us, not everyone.

I guess I'm the Ultimate Naive Parent - but you've got to be kidding.

Which part is kidding?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:by the time some kids are juniors and certainly seniors, they are drinking. We do allow specific kids to drink in our house. We also allow them to drink at specific other houses. This gives us a lot more control. We talk to the other parents about who is involved and who has access to cars. Needless to say, there is all about facing reality and ensuring that there is no drinking and driving. The kids, so far, have bought in to this by policing each other. works for us, not everyone.

Sadly I know you really believe you have more control but nothing is farther from the truth. You are pathetic as a parent and your kids know it and so do there friends. As a teen, we ridiculed parents like you and our friend, reminding them over and over who much their parents didn't give a crap about them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:PP again - but catholic school had way less drugs - wayyy less

Not the Catholic schools I knew! They had plenty of drinking and plenty of drugs.