DH is taking unpaid vacation

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you are permanently disabled and unable to work, do you have SSI disability, OP?

Sorry but I'd prefer not to talk about details of your situation. All I came here for we're money saving tips.

[Anonymous]

Clip coupons, shop for groceries at Costco and buy in bulk (and divide). Homecooked meals ONLY (you can make large pots of soups, stew etc. and freeze leftovers). Make a bi-weekly meal plan and shop accordingly. There are some great time and money-saving meal tips in the Food Section at DCUM. Cut cable and preschool. Take your children to free events, library, park etc. Shop for clothing at thrift stores, consignment sales or get free stuff on Craigslist or Free Cycle. Get rid of stuff in your house that you do not need. You can sell it on Ebay or Craigslist or hold a Yardsale. Cut out cable (borrow movies from the library instead).

If you are legally able to (and that is what I SUSPECT may be holding you back from working...), you can try to get a PT job on the weekends on PM when your DH is home and can help out with the kids. You can babysit, work in retail, clean houses or whatever it takes to earn some $$ to make ends meet. Babysitting pays well and if you are reliable and trust-worthy and fun, you can earn up to $15/hr watching one child for someone's date night. Advertise your services on Sittercity etc. You can also dogsit or offer dog-walking services on the weekends etc. Do you have a college degree or any specialized skills? You might be able to offer your services as a tutor (language, math, sciences etc.). If you are crafty, can you make something that people might like and sell your products on Etsy?

Good luck to you and your DH!

[Anonymous]

I thought maybe she does not have the right kind of visa to work??? Maybe her DH has a special visa that requires he work???

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Clip coupons, shop for groceries at Costco and buy in bulk (and divide). Homecooked meals ONLY (you can make large pots of soups, stew etc. and freeze leftovers). Make a bi-weekly meal plan and shop accordingly. There are some great time and money-saving meal tips in the Food Section at DCUM. Cut cable and preschool. Take your children to free events, library, park etc. Shop for clothing at thrift stores, consignment sales or get free stuff on Craigslist or Free Cycle. Get rid of stuff in your house that you do not need. You can sell it on Ebay or Craigslist or hold a Yardsale. Cut out cable (borrow movies from the library instead).

If you are legally able to (and that is what I SUSPECT may be holding you back from working...), you can try to get a PT job on the weekends on PM when your DH is home and can help out with the kids. You can babysit, work in retail, clean houses or whatever it takes to earn some $$ to make ends meet. Babysitting pays well and if you are reliable and trust-worthy and fun, you can earn up to $15/hr watching one child for someone's date night. Advertise your services on Sittercity etc. You can also dogsit or offer dog-walking services on the weekends etc. Do you have a college degree or any specialized skills? You might be able to offer your services as a tutor (language, math, sciences etc.). If you are crafty, can you make something that people might like and sell your products on Etsy?

Good luck to you and your DH!

Thank you very much, PP this is exactly what I came here for.

[Anonymous]

CL- I just want to say that your English is very good. How many years have you been learning? How many years have you been living here? I wish I could manage as well as you on a forum in my second language!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here.

Thanks to those who came with helpful tips.

I don't want to give more details because I don't want our friends knowing about our situation (and I have a few friends that post here) but let me say that I cannot work and DH cannot quit his job and he'll never be fired in a million years. He does very specialized work and it's very expensive to hire someone new to do it.

So he is the owner of the company or what? Because unless he is, it is almost inviting misfortune to pronounce on such matters so confidently. Especially you, since you are not even working. It's not all about money, you know - sometimes people are willing to pay more to get a better or even just a different employee.

To me it sounds like both you and your husband have an attitude issue here, perhaps willingly overlooking that in the other. You SAH but send one child to school and do not cover for both when they are sick (???). Your DH takes "unpaid vacation" in August (???). Unfortunately I am familiar with work frustration (though in my case the problem is that the company is dysfunctional while my own position is pretty good). I would never ever resign or take "unpaid vacation" before I found a better alternative (in fact, I already have a better alternative, it's just that it won't start for a few more months) though I could comfortably SAH if I wanted to. It blows my mind what the two of you are doing. Btw, I had friends who were similar in terms of attitude. The are both very bright people (one of them is a PhD) - by now, the wife has been unemployed for 5 years, and the husband for more than 10 years.

Typical DCUM bitch.

So here we go:

I cannot work. I sure want to but I can't.

DH has SEVERAL job offers that he can take any time but because of some legal issues he cannot take up any offers at this moment. Even quitting is not an option for him. He either stays with his salary living a miserable existence or he gets unpaid leave to dedicate time and energy to school and family.

It's not about a snob attitude, like you're trying to paint us, it's about knowing our options. DH's job is extremely specialized so he's very familiar with the market and his options. His friends call him all the time with offers in their companies and it breaks my heart to see that he can't take those offers. His company knows it and obviously won't raise his salary or give him a promotion. They're known for doing this. One of DH's closest co-worker came over for dinner once and I cried talking to his wife. She was telling me their story and I could not believe what they did to their family. She was on bed rest for several months with their #2, she was taken to he ER with some bleeding, they had to have an emergency C-sec and his manager (also DH's manager) kept calling him in the hospital asking him to log in. He was there trying to get news from his just born premature child, his wife that almost died after complications during the surgery and this asshole calling him asking him to log in? WTH?

Anyway, again thanks to the PPs who shared their stories, I really appreciate it.

And if you have any tips to save money, they're always welcome.

I think you watched "The Firm" too many times or you are posting from some diamond mine in Africa. Otherwise, your description of your husband's situation (has many offers he can't take but cannot quit but can take an unpaid vacation but has really been in school all along) makes no sense.

Btw, why do you even need to save money if your husband is in such a great demand and has offers left and right? His new job is, according to you, is waiting for him. Just put it on a credit card.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For the record, I didn't call you out until you called someone a bitch. Don't you realize that's what you do all the time?? You hear one thing you don't like and off you go....

Ok, in 3 pages only a few posters really came with something helpful. I didn't say a word to the unhelpful posters until someone really crossed the line. I think 3 pages of non-sense grants one little vent. No?

Not when you're asking for help. No.

Are you reading? 4 pages and only 2 people came with helpful, practical advice.

BTW, I'm paying less per hour for school than we would pay for a mother's helper in our area. DH will be in school all day so I can't just leave the kids with him and go get a job, you know?

That's why I came here to ask for MONEY SAVING TIPS. That's all.

I don't really mean to pile on, but I would think that people who SAHM but need to save money would forgo both daycare and mother's helpers.

[Anonymous]

Are you here illegally or on a student visa? That might make sense given your insistence about not making any changes to your lifestyle.

As to saving money - no magic to it - stop spending. Cut the cable, move to a smaller house/apartment, sell cars, don't eat out. Look at every bill and ask if you need it or can reduce it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Clip coupons, shop for groceries at Costco and buy in bulk (and divide). Homecooked meals ONLY (you can make large pots of soups, stew etc. and freeze leftovers). Make a bi-weekly meal plan and shop accordingly. There are some great time and money-saving meal tips in the Food Section at DCUM. Cut cable and preschool. Take your children to free events, library, park etc. Shop for clothing at thrift stores, consignment sales or get free stuff on Craigslist or Free Cycle. Get rid of stuff in your house that you do not need. You can sell it on Ebay or Craigslist or hold a Yardsale. Cut out cable (borrow movies from the library instead).

If you are legally able to (and that is what I SUSPECT may be holding you back from working...), you can try to get a PT job on the weekends on PM when your DH is home and can help out with the kids. You can babysit, work in retail, clean houses or whatever it takes to earn some $$ to make ends meet. Babysitting pays well and if you are reliable and trust-worthy and fun, you can earn up to $15/hr watching one child for someone's date night. Advertise your services on Sittercity etc. You can also dogsit or offer dog-walking services on the weekends etc. Do you have a college degree or any specialized skills? You might be able to offer your services as a tutor (language, math, sciences etc.). If you are crafty, can you make something that people might like and sell your products on Etsy?

Good luck to you and your DH!

Thank you very much, PP this is exactly what I came here for.

You cam here for this?? You - a SAHM, no less - have never before thought of buying at Costco or using coupons and are now deeply grateful for these precious insights. Please.

[Anonymous]

No school for your precious snowflake. Drop the cable. Keep the house warm in summer and very cool in winter. Cut back to one car. Clip coupons and shop at Costco. Don't buy anything extraneous, don't treat yourself, never eat out.

There, that was easy, right? My HHI is over $600k/yr. Meaning I've never done any of these things, and even I know how in theory. It's not rocket science, clearly.


You could drive a truck through the weird holes in your story.

[Anonymous]

Here's another thought - Since you and your DH are very confident that your DH wouldn't get fired in a million years, your DH could put his foot down and set some boundaries with his boss. He may not be able to get a raise, but if he's sure he won't get fired, he could turn his cell off during certain hours (dinner, vacation, weekends, etc.) and respond to his boss when he is prepared to work - Seriously, it might help him with his stress -

Also, since his boss has no boundaries when you all took your vacation (and he called while DH was driving) what makes you think his boss will suddenly quit calling/emailing when your DH takes unpaid leave? I don't think that will solve your problem and only add to the stress - because now you have no income PLUS DH's boss will be bothering him all the time like he always did.

[Anonymous]

Steve Jobs was fired from Apple. But it can't happen to OP's husband, no sir! It's impossible, he is so precious!

[Anonymous]

In my home country mothers sometimes send their kids to their family temporarily if they can't afford them...it clearly sucks for any decent mother but maybe that's the only thing to do here? Send the older child to her grandparents for 3-4 months? and you will have more time for the baby, and save money bc of school...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
No school for your precious snowflake. Drop the cable. Keep the house warm in summer and very cool in winter. Cut back to one car. Clip coupons and shop at Costco. Don't buy anything extraneous, don't treat yourself, never eat out.

There, that was easy, right? My HHI is over $600k/yr. Meaning I've never done any of these things, and even I know how in theory. It's not rocket science, clearly.


You could drive a truck through the weird holes in your story.

OP here. This is exactly my intent. I don't want friends and neighbors learning about our financial situation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In my home country mothers sometimes send their kids to their family temporarily if they can't afford them...it clearly sucks for any decent mother but maybe that's the only thing to do here? Send the older child to her grandparents for 3-4 months? and you will have more time for the baby, and save money bc of school...

This is part of our plan but I'm going with the kids. I just can't bring myself to do this right now. DC1 has never seen the grandparents except for our Skype calls once a week so I can't do this to her. And the tickets are so expensive!
We have a friend who did this. The child didn't see them for a whole year. It worked for them.