Enrichment Programs for the kids - How much is too much? Should there be a limit?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I want to thank you for everyone's input. I greatly appreicate the support on my concern which confirms that I am not out of line here. I have listed her schedule out for my DH and make him realize how full her schedule is with the enrichments (14 classes total). I hope he will realize how full her place is and will backdown.

Although about 60-70% of the enrichments are taking place in school. She does get taken away from her daily routine interaction with her classmates. She seems to enjoy all her classes and not complaining about anything except I noticed she complains about not get to play enough and tell me and her teachers she is tired.

I know my DH comes from good heart because he only want the best for her. He does help taking her to classes. I just feel it is a bit overboard and hope he will realize that my concern is legit and is not about him, but about our DD's.

Good luck. One other thing I wanted to add is that it is important that DH gives weight to your concerns. I'm probably more of Tiger mom in the relationship and at times it frustrates the heck out of me that DH doesn't see things the way I do and he wasn't raised the same way I was raised. Sometimes it seems that he takes things for granted while my family was more of the mind that you need to be twice as good ... That said, I also saw my mom ignore my dad's perpective and to be honest that caused a lot of marital friction. In hindsight, my dad wasn't wrong and my mom wasn't wrong. We needed a balance between my dad's approach to get out and play more, hang out with our cousins, get to go into the city etc. along with my mom's enrichment and education focus. I keep thinking the alternate universe where my parents compromised and no parent was marginalized, where we got both the how to get along in the sandbox skills along with the academic enrichment, and we learned from a place of stability where parents are united versus instability where everything was an argument with the parents and you could never make both parents happy and felt you were siding with one parent because of the activity or school choice you made ...yes that alternative universe would have been great. So as frustrated as I can get with DH, I try to make my childhood reality mean something. I have it in my power to give my children what I didn't have and it isn't about it being a lot of enrichment activities.

[Anonymous]

And if the OP is still listening, I would like to add my perspective as a child of similar-minded parents back in the '80s, when it was less common. My parents never saw it as pushing, but we were always told we were the smartest and encouraged to choose the hardest classes and extracurricular activities. I was confident to the point of smugness through my teenage years. But there came a point when I needed to choose what I wanted to study, and to become, and I had no idea who to become because my goal had only ever been to be "the best." And worse, I felt (and unfortunately still feel) that nothing I did could ever be good enough. Please be very careful here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Some cultures value acceleration and enrichment for their kids and others do not. There situation here between the poster and spouse is what can be defined as a clash of cultures.
I suspect those who want to crucify the husband are plain white Americans and those supportive of his position are plain Asian Americans or immigrants.

Asian parents have very different expecations for their children than American parents. As Asian American parents, we are caught between our Asian heritage and our American style, between how we were raised and what we read in our (English language) books. We want our children to have all the advantages we had when we were growing up, with none of the disadvantages. We want them to be A-students and good musicians like we were, sure, but also student body presidents and successful athletes.

[Anonymous]

Hey Pediatrician poster...if you are still out there, please post where you work so we can avoid it. My brother went to medical school at an ivy and he did his pediatric training at an ivy and guess what? He thinks PLAY is crucial at this age and kids should not be onverscheduled. Yes, the brain is plastic, but kids learn a tremedous amount through play. Some extra enrichment is fine, but what you suggest is overkill. Furthermore, he would never use a word like "Tis." I call your bluff. I would bet money you are not a pediatrician and I suspect you don't even have a college degree. Most people I know who are so pretentious are not that educated.

[Anonymous]

20:17 again..excuse the typos. I am trying to do 3 things at once right now and clearly that is not working.

[Anonymous]

Hey Pediatrician poster...if you are still out there, please post where you work so we can avoid it. My brother went to medical school at an ivy and he did his pediatric training at an ivy and guess what? He thinks PLAY is crucial at this age and kids should not be onverscheduled. Yes, the brain is plastic, but kids learn a tremedous amount through play. Some extra enrichment is fine, but what you suggest is overkill. Furthermore, he would never use a word like "Tis." I call your bluff. I would bet money you are not a pediatrician and I suspect you don't even have a college degree. Most people I know who are so pretentious are not that educated.

Hey, but my brother is "Super Man". We've heard that line before. What happened to you? I'm sure your "pediatric" brother also believes adults are more nimble at learning than adults! Perhaps he needs to stop overprescribing Ritalin and Antibiotics for ADHD and viral illnesses and read some evidence-based scientific literature.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Early Childhood is also the Best Time to Learn music!

Music research shows that children who are involved in preschool piano lessons have enhanced brain function that lasts their entire lifetime. There is no good reason not to takes advantage of this extraordinary period in children's learning development to raise not just awareness and skills, but actual aptitude in musical I.Q. In the last twenty-five years, science has shown convincing evidence of the benefits of starting children in music instruction at an early age. Benefits are not just musical. Studies show a direct correlation between guided music instruction and abilities in math, language and spatial reasoning.

Oh yippie, so lets all go out and sign Jonny up for three hours of piano a day so that he maxes out his spatial reasoning and abilities in math. The holy grail, also known as the key secret to a 99.9 % WIPPSI score has been unveiled.

[Anonymous]

How Enriched Environments Benefit The Brain

Animal studies have found that enriched environments can induce important changes in the brain, including enhanced functioning and development in areas related to cognitive capacity, learning, memory, and resilience.

http://www.education.com/reference/article/enriched-environments-benefit-brain/

[Anonymous]

This is a frequent poster. She will post over and over again with links, sometimes 5 in a row. Often the links do not support what she is saying. Her general argument is that unless you are a tiger mother pushing your kids and taking them to a bazillion activities, than you are a bad mother. Allowing your child time to develop through play is bad in her book. She is not a pediatrician.

Now brace yourselves, because we are about to be deluged with her posts and links.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Now brace yourselves, because we are about to be deluged with her posts and links.

Don't forget the ad hominem attacks! She's really into those as well.

[Anonymous]

This is a frequent poster. She will post over and over again with links, sometimes 5 in a row. Often the links do not support what she is saying. Her general argument is that unless you are a tiger mother pushing your kids and taking them to a bazillion activities, than you are a bad mother. Allowing your child time to develop through play is bad in her book. She is not a pediatrician.

Now brace yourselves, because we are about to be deluged with her posts and links.

Boy, you sound off your rocker!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How Enriched Environments Benefit The Brain

Animal studies have found that enriched environments can induce important changes in the brain, including enhanced functioning and development in areas related to cognitive capacity, learning, memory, and resilience.

http://www.education.com/reference/article/enriched-environments-benefit-brain/

I use organic potting soil for plants and read the labels closely. Young children, on the other hand, need love, patience, attention, 1:1 time with a parent, and more love. I'm pretty sure that is the secret formula, not the right ratio of enrichments to," induce enhanced functioning and cognitive capacity".

[Anonymous]

I use organic potting soil for plants and read the labels closely. Young children, on the other hand, need love, patience, attention, 1:1 time with a parent, and more love. I'm pretty sure that is the secret formula, not the right ratio of enrichments to," induce enhanced functioning and cognitive capacity".

Children deserve the same specialized enrichment and prep just like your plants.

Hail to math, music and minerals.

[Anonymous]

Is this so that that don't grow up to be " deaf" , ( tone and socially) . A human being is quite capable of developing without being " prepped". Plants even may be.

[Anonymous]

I support your liking your child to a plant with the only function in life is photosynthesis and providign bloom for mother's day. Others appreciate other functions like the ability to critically think in our children and hence a different enrichment approach. There is room in the human world for more than just wall flowers?