Neighbor is afraid of dogs and scaring my kids and dogs

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just to be anal about terminology, "leash laws" are actually ordinances in most jurisdictions, like parking laws or littering laws. You can be ticketed for breaking them but they do not carry any greater penalty and you must be "caught in the act," as it were.

OP, do you might the slim chance that you will get a ticket occasionally if the neighbor calls at the exact time that you are playing and the police arrive before you are done? If not, you don't really have a problem.

OP here, I wouldn't mind the occasional ticket, but that's not the point. What I mind is that the friendly gathering place has turned into conflict. As her neighbors we can't let a situation continue that scares her children or causes her to go nuts. That's not fair to her. I am just totally sad that five families that really enjoyed an area (exclusive really to just our homes) are going to have to quit meeting with our dogs because of one family. Like I said, we will try and work it out with her, but I kind of resent that some of you posters are assuming that we don't care about our neighbor's feelings.

My four year old cried before he went to bed because he was convinced she was going to kill our dogs. I don't understand why people can't work things out instead of threatening to call the police and scaring my kids.

Holy smokes.

1) Your 4-yo is not the victim here. Stop going on about your precious snowflake.
2) There's nothing to work out. You were engaging in unlawful behavior, got called on it, and are pissed off because you consider the law to be a "technicality" and are annoyed that the other neighbor, for whom the law was designed to protect, didn't wink-wink, nod-nod and get-along, go-along.
3) Your solution is that this family shouldn't also use the woods. The hell?

[Anonymous]

Right, and that's exactly why you need to approach her to have a conversation. Explain to her about the "woods area" and ask her if she's comfortable with the gathering of dog lovers. I'm sure if you explain, emphasize that the dogs are friendly and kid loving, and the meet-up times, she will probably be fine with it. Just have a conversation with her.

-dog lover

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just to be anal about terminology, "leash laws" are actually ordinances in most jurisdictions, like parking laws or littering laws. You can be ticketed for breaking them but they do not carry any greater penalty and you must be "caught in the act," as it were.

OP, do you might the slim chance that you will get a ticket occasionally if the neighbor calls at the exact time that you are playing and the police arrive before you are done? If not, you don't really have a problem.

OP here, I wouldn't mind the occasional ticket, but that's not the point. What I mind is that the friendly gathering place has turned into conflict. As her neighbors we can't let a situation continue that scares her children or causes her to go nuts. That's not fair to her. I am just totally sad that five families that really enjoyed an area (exclusive really to just our homes) are going to have to quit meeting with our dogs because of one family. Like I said, we will try and work it out with her, but I kind of resent that some of you posters are assuming that we don't care about our neighbor's feelings.

My four year old cried before he went to bed because he was convinced she was going to kill our dogs. I don't understand why people can't work things out instead of threatening to call the police and scaring my kids.

Holy smokes.

1) Your 4-yo is not the victim here. Stop going on about your precious snowflake.
2) There's nothing to work out. You were engaging in unlawful behavior, got called on it, and are pissed off because you consider the law to be a "technicality" and are annoyed that the other neighbor, for whom the law was designed to protect, didn't wink-wink, nod-nod and get-along, go-along.
3) Your solution is that this family shouldn't also use the woods. The hell?

Shut up. Have you been taking your meds?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just to be anal about terminology, "leash laws" are actually ordinances in most jurisdictions, like parking laws or littering laws. You can be ticketed for breaking them but they do not carry any greater penalty and you must be "caught in the act," as it were.

OP, do you might the slim chance that you will get a ticket occasionally if the neighbor calls at the exact time that you are playing and the police arrive before you are done? If not, you don't really have a problem.

OP here, I wouldn't mind the occasional ticket, but that's not the point. What I mind is that the friendly gathering place has turned into conflict. As her neighbors we can't let a situation continue that scares her children or causes her to go nuts. That's not fair to her. I am just totally sad that five families that really enjoyed an area (exclusive really to just our homes) are going to have to quit meeting with our dogs because of one family. Like I said, we will try and work it out with her, but I kind of resent that some of you posters are assuming that we don't care about our neighbor's feelings.

My four year old cried before he went to bed because he was convinced she was going to kill our dogs. I don't understand why people can't work things out instead of threatening to call the police and scaring my kids.

Holy smokes.

1) Your 4-yo is not the victim here. Stop going on about your precious snowflake.
2) There's nothing to work out. You were engaging in unlawful behavior, got called on it, and are pissed off because you consider the law to be a "technicality" and are annoyed that the other neighbor, for whom the law was designed to protect, didn't wink-wink, nod-nod and get-along, go-along.
3) Your solution is that this family shouldn't also use the woods. The hell?

OP just does not get it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just to be anal about terminology, "leash laws" are actually ordinances in most jurisdictions, like parking laws or littering laws. You can be ticketed for breaking them but they do not carry any greater penalty and you must be "caught in the act," as it were.

OP, do you might the slim chance that you will get a ticket occasionally if the neighbor calls at the exact time that you are playing and the police arrive before you are done? If not, you don't really have a problem.

OP here, I wouldn't mind the occasional ticket, but that's not the point. What I mind is that the friendly gathering place has turned into conflict. As her neighbors we can't let a situation continue that scares her children or causes her to go nuts. That's not fair to her. I am just totally sad that five families that really enjoyed an area (exclusive really to just our homes) are going to have to quit meeting with our dogs because of one family. Like I said, we will try and work it out with her, but I kind of resent that some of you posters are assuming that we don't care about our neighbor's feelings.

My four year old cried before he went to bed because he was convinced she was going to kill our dogs. I don't understand why people can't work things out instead of threatening to call the police and scaring my kids.

Your four year old cried because you were breaking the law and causing three human beings to be uncomfortable. Get it right. Are you that clueless?

[Anonymous]

I have to wonder why the kids walked into an area with multiple dogs if they were so afraid of dogs?

OP, is there any way you and the neighbors with dogs can pitch it for some sort of netting so you can create an area for the dogs to run around in (and the kids can enter to run with the dogs) without running all over the area? I know it'll be a pain to set up each time, but that's at least an idea for a middle-ground solution.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just to be anal about terminology, "leash laws" are actually ordinances in most jurisdictions, like parking laws or littering laws. You can be ticketed for breaking them but they do not carry any greater penalty and you must be "caught in the act," as it were.

OP, do you might the slim chance that you will get a ticket occasionally if the neighbor calls at the exact time that you are playing and the police arrive before you are done? If not, you don't really have a problem.

OP here, I wouldn't mind the occasional ticket, but that's not the point. What I mind is that the friendly gathering place has turned into conflict. As her neighbors we can't let a situation continue that scares her children or causes her to go nuts. That's not fair to her. I am just totally sad that five families that really enjoyed an area (exclusive really to just our homes) are going to have to quit meeting with our dogs because of one family. Like I said, we will try and work it out with her, but I kind of resent that some of you posters are assuming that we don't care about our neighbor's feelings.

My four year old cried before he went to bed because he was convinced she was going to kill our dogs. I don't understand why people can't work things out instead of threatening to call the police and scaring my kids.

Conflict with neighbors can arise no matter where you live, OP. All you can do is do your part to be a good neighbor and obey the law, and hope others do the same. By letting your dogs run around off-leash on property that is not your private property, even if it is only used by a few houses, you are not being a good neighbor and you are not obeying the law. It makes no difference whatsoever if everyone was fine with it these new neighbors moved in. Things change. Flexibility and consideration are wonderful lessons to teach your children. If you start leashing your dog or leaving him home, I bet your neighbors will calm down too, and your kid won't be so worried.

I'm a dog owner too, and I understand how lovely it is when kids and dogs run around together and have fun. But this is not your call to make if it is not your private property. Sorry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Right, and that's exactly why you need to approach her to have a conversation. Explain to her about the "woods area" and ask her if she's comfortable with the gathering of dog lovers. I'm sure if you explain, emphasize that the dogs, who are on a leash, are friendly and kid loving, and the meet-up times, she will probably be fine with it. Just have a conversation with her.

-dog lover

Please see edit in bold.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I grew up with dogs, I LOVE dogs. I do not love people that insist they have a right to let their dogs off-leash in public spaces. If your dogs NEED recreation and you don't have a yard, you need to take them somewhere for recreation where you can legally have them off-leash....or don't have dogs if you don't have the space for them. Everyone thinks their dog is "well-behaved" and yet, accidents do happen, especially with small children around. I hate it when I see people letting their dogs off-leash in my neighborhood's common areas. Those spaces are for people, some of whom may not like dogs, have little experience with dogs, or be genuinely afraid of dogs.

Who owns the property where you were all hanging out? The county or your HOA? Maybe they can build a dog park for you.

+1

I am also a dog lover who grew up with dogs. My kids, for some reason completely unknown to me, are really afraid of dogs. No matter how often I have tried to introduce them to friendly dogs or help them get over their fear, they just don't like dogs. I hate when we go to the playground and someone has let their dog off leash and it is just running around. Eventually, it will come over to my kids and my kids will flip out and start to scream and yell trying to get away from the dog which usually just makes the dog want to "play" with them more. It doesn't matter if the dog is friendly or not, they don't want it near them. I usually end up feeling bad because the owner sort of sighs and reluctantly pulls out the leash for the dog. I know it is the law, but it often seems like my kids are the only ones who don't want the dog near them.

I'd hate to be your kid. Feeling bad for an unlawful dog owner and not supporting your kids?

Wow, I feel for those kids to have a parent like that.

For what it's worth, you seem to have read this post very differently from the way I did. I thought that the poster feels bad because the dog owner is being passive-aggressive about leashing his/her dog, which probably makes the kids feel even worse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just to be anal about terminology, "leash laws" are actually ordinances in most jurisdictions, like parking laws or littering laws. You can be ticketed for breaking them but they do not carry any greater penalty and you must be "caught in the act," as it were.

OP, do you might the slim chance that you will get a ticket occasionally if the neighbor calls at the exact time that you are playing and the police arrive before you are done? If not, you don't really have a problem.

OP here, I wouldn't mind the occasional ticket, but that's not the point. What I mind is that the friendly gathering place has turned into conflict. As her neighbors we can't let a situation continue that scares her children or causes her to go nuts. That's not fair to her. I am just totally sad that five families that really enjoyed an area (exclusive really to just our homes) are going to have to quit meeting with our dogs because of one family. Like I said, we will try and work it out with her, but I kind of resent that some of you posters are assuming that we don't care about our neighbor's feelings.

My four year old cried before he went to bed because he was convinced she was going to kill our dogs. I don't understand why people can't work things out instead of threatening to call the police and scaring my kids.

It kind of is the point because it changes the power dynamics of the situation. If you keep doing what you are doing (because you are comfortable with the possible financial penalties) while at the same time trying to work with her and compromise with her about how you will use the shared space then you can work to reach some sort of agreement. Also, you haven't said who owns the land on which you are playing. If it is the HOA, you can work with her and the HOA to establish a "legal" dog park on the spot. (I put legal in quotes because it is private property so there isn't an actual legal issue with the town. Any HOA can choose to fence any part of its property for this use as long as it does so in accordance with its bylaws.) If it is owned by another homeowner then you can get that homeowner's permission to use the land and you will not be violation of leash laws. You just want to think strategically about how to use the advantages that you have to work out an accommodation that everyone is comfortable with. There are ways to work within the system to handle problems like this. What you don't want to do is assume that the other party holds all the power in negotiations.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I had a neighbor who thought our dog was the devil (literally). It was hilarous to see her go running into her house terrified when our dog was in the backyard, even though there was a fence separating. My dog caught onto her fear and he began to bark vicious at her. Not my problem, hers, she needs a shrink.

I don't know about the devil thing, but I find my very nice neighbor's dog (the neighbor is nice, and although I don't like dogs, it's probably nice enough, too) makes hanging out outdoors or even keeping the windows open A LOT less pleasant. What an awful noise!

And this is a small animal in an urban yard that's mostly paved! What about large beasts who rattle chain link fences and jangly collars, pant and growl noisily as they play, and thwump against things in suburban yards? I'd go inside when such an animal came outside, too, since it would be disturbing the peace.

[Anonymous]

OPis the one who needs to be on a leash.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just to be anal about terminology, "leash laws" are actually ordinances in most jurisdictions, like parking laws or littering laws. You can be ticketed for breaking them but they do not carry any greater penalty and you must be "caught in the act," as it were.

OP, do you might the slim chance that you will get a ticket occasionally if the neighbor calls at the exact time that you are playing and the police arrive before you are done? If not, you don't really have a problem.

PP, just out of curiousity: Do you drive a BMW?

Actually, I drive an ten year-old Chevy Malibu.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know you OP and I am familiar with the incident. You have quite a reputation in the community. This is not the first incident of this type. The way you raise your children leaves a lot to desire too.

Stop your costant complaining and attacking people, or please move away.

Busted again, OP!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I grew up with dogs, I LOVE dogs. I do not love people that insist they have a right to let their dogs off-leash in public spaces. If your dogs NEED recreation and you don't have a yard, you need to take them somewhere for recreation where you can legally have them off-leash....or don't have dogs if you don't have the space for them. Everyone thinks their dog is "well-behaved" and yet, accidents do happen, especially with small children around. I hate it when I see people letting their dogs off-leash in my neighborhood's common areas. Those spaces are for people, some of whom may not like dogs, have little experience with dogs, or be genuinely afraid of dogs.

Who owns the property where you were all hanging out? The county or your HOA? Maybe they can build a dog park for you.

+1

I am also a dog lover who grew up with dogs. My kids, for some reason completely unknown to me, are really afraid of dogs. No matter how often I have tried to introduce them to friendly dogs or help them get over their fear, they just don't like dogs. I hate when we go to the playground and someone has let their dog off leash and it is just running around. Eventually, it will come over to my kids and my kids will flip out and start to scream and yell trying to get away from the dog which usually just makes the dog want to "play" with them more. It doesn't matter if the dog is friendly or not, they don't want it near them. I usually end up feeling bad because the owner sort of sighs and reluctantly pulls out the leash for the dog. I know it is the law, but it often seems like my kids are the only ones who don't want the dog near them.

I'd hate to be your kid. Feeling bad for an unlawful dog owner and not supporting your kids?

Wow, I feel for those kids to have a parent like that.

For what it's worth, you seem to have read this post very differently from the way I did. I thought that the poster feels bad because the dog owner is being passive-aggressive about leashing his/her dog, which probably makes the kids feel even worse.

Yes, that is what I meant. Of course I support my kids and don't make them feel bad that they are afraid! My point was that similar to the OP's new neighbors, we seem to be the one family in the neighborhood whose kids aren't crazy about dogs and we end up feeling bad about it which isn't right at all.