Why do women who choose not to get an epidural feel they should be congratulated?

[Anonymous]

I had a myomectomy (removal of fibroids from uterus through an incision in abdomen) in 2000. I got an epidural for the procedure. Prior to the surgery, I was scared sh*tless about getting a needle in my back. Seriously, all I felt was a slight pinch. I felt the same slight pinch when I had an epidural to have my daughter back in 2007. For me, getting an IV is always the most painful part of hospital visits.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They don't. Sounding pretty defensive, OP.

ITA.

OP, are you referring to a conversation you had with someone where they shared their birth story and how they had no epi? So what? Have you never shared your story of being in the trenches of birth? We women often share the agonies and ecstasies of the major life experience. And having no epi simply is something to share - it conveys the level of pain mom experienced. It's part of the war story of birth.

I had two epis and wouldn't change a thing. Except the forceps. Don't let anybody talk you into forceps!

OP here - Look, I did not mean for this to turn into an anti-woman's choice argument surrounding an epidural. I am sorry if I offended anyone with this post. The reason I wrote it is because I was with a bunch of women one night and one of them proudly exclaimed that they suffered through 17 hours of labor with no epidural. Then another woman said "You are a hero!" The rest of the women all nodded in enthusiastic agreement, and proceeded to bash the use of an epidural. This got me thinking, and on a whim I posted the comment.

Please do not take offense, I just wanted to understand this, and many of the comments have been very helpful.

OK, OP, now I understand why you posted what you did. I would have found that situation very annoying and I didn't have an epidural! I think I interpreted your original post to be from someone who just resented people generally for making different choices - which seems not to be the case. Sorry to hear you had to deal with that!

[Anonymous]

Thanks for the clarification, OP. And, FWIW, the experience you had w/ your friends is the opposite of what I usually encounter. I keep pretty mum about my unmedicated births, because when someone asks me directly and I do talk about my experiences, I usually get the "you're crazy, etc, etc" responses.

And, to the "birth sucks" poster, please don't demean my experiences. Just because you experienced the birth of your child as as sucking, doesn't mean mine did!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thanks for the clarification, OP. And, FWIW, the experience you had w/ your friends is the opposite of what I usually encounter. I keep pretty mum about my unmedicated births, because when someone asks me directly and I do talk about my experiences, I usually get the "you're crazy, etc, etc" responses.

And, to the "birth sucks" poster, please don't demean my experiences. Just because you experienced the birth of your child as as sucking, doesn't mean mine did!

"Birth sucks" poster here. I do not demean your experiences by simply stating my own. Please do not demean me by exclaiming how sensuous, romantic, bladdy blah birth is when that certainly isn't true for very many people.

[Anonymous]

I give MASSIVE props to the woman who apparently delivered her own baby in her car on the way to the hospital this morning (she got stuck in traffic because of a bad accident).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thanks for the clarification, OP. And, FWIW, the experience you had w/ your friends is the opposite of what I usually encounter. I keep pretty mum about my unmedicated births, because when someone asks me directly and I do talk about my experiences, I usually get the "you're crazy, etc, etc" responses.

And, to the "birth sucks" poster, please don't demean my experiences. Just because you experienced the birth of your child as as sucking, doesn't mean mine did!

"Birth sucks" poster here. I do not demean your experiences by simply stating my own. Please do not demean me by exclaiming how sensuous, romantic, bladdy blah birth is when that certainly isn't true for very many people.

I was the romantic homebirth PP--PP you responded to was someone different.

Herein lies the trick: how do women who love giving birth and women who hate giving birth share their experiences without "demeaning" one another?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I give MASSIVE props to the woman who apparently delivered her own baby in her car on the way to the hospital this morning (she got stuck in traffic because of a bad accident).

Yes, I've been thinking of her today too!

[Anonymous]

"Herein lies the trick: how do women who love giving birth and women who hate giving birth share their experiences without "demeaning" one another? "

I have no idea, but I do know it's just equally fine to love and hate giving birth.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I give MASSIVE props to the woman who apparently delivered her own baby in her car on the way to the hospital this morning (she got stuck in traffic because of a bad accident).

Yes, I've been thinking of her today too!

This has happened to so many military wives I know. Stupid Tricare insists that you deliver at Bethesda, or Ft. Belvoir, even if you live in Stafford or Bristow or anywhere within a theoretical hour drive, so I personally have a few friends who gave birth on 66 or 95.

There is a process by which you can ask permission to give birth elsewhere, but by the time it is done, the baby is being weaned. With all the additional expense of emergency services, you'd think the bureaucracy would have caught on by now.

It took me seven months and hours and hours of my life and superhuman stubbornness to get permission to use a non-military facility. Since my active labors have all been two hours or less, I would have joined the club otherwise, I have no doubt.

That's why I paid out of pocket for homebirths the past two times. Fabulous. Wish I could give birth every day.

[Anonymous]

I just watched "The Business of Being Born", and I think it should be required viewing for every expecting mom. There are downsides to epidurals and interventions, and there are clear financial incentives for hospitals to turn LD beds over quickly. It is balanced though, and shows potential complications of home births.

I had an epi with #1, and was quickly shoved onto the intervention fast-track and nearly ended up with a C. (baby was vacuumed out). The second two were born in a birth center without drugs because I wanted a lower-risk birth. I delivered two 10+ pound babies there, and would do it again in a heartbeat. Do I expect a medal from you OP? Nope. I don't brag about it, and DH and I didn't make that decision to feel superior to anyone. As another PP put it, you did not factor into our choices at all.

Be happy with your choices, but make sure you get all the facts. It goes way beyond pain relief.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
I just watched "The Business of Being Born", and I think it should be required viewing for every expecting mom. There are downsides to epidurals and interventions, and there are clear financial incentives for hospitals to turn LD beds over quickly. It is balanced though, and shows potential complications of home births.

I had an epi with #1, and was quickly shoved onto the intervention fast-track and nearly ended up with a C. (baby was vacuumed out). The second two were born in a birth center without drugs because I wanted a lower-risk birth. I delivered two 10+ pound babies there, and would do it again in a heartbeat. Do I expect a medal from you OP? Nope. I don't brag about it, and DH and I didn't make that decision to feel superior to anyone. As another PP put it, you did not factor into our choices at all.

Be happy with your choices, but make sure you get all the facts. It goes way beyond pain relief.

I just wanted the baby out, I didn't care about the process. I was group B strep positive, I was exhausted at the start of labor. I just don't understand all the angst that goes into this. It likely won't matter when your baby is 12.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I just watched "The Business of Being Born", and I think it should be required viewing for every expecting mom. There are downsides to epidurals and interventions, and there are clear financial incentives for hospitals to turn LD beds over quickly. It is balanced though, and shows potential complications of home births.

I had an epi with #1, and was quickly shoved onto the intervention fast-track and nearly ended up with a C. (baby was vacuumed out). The second two were born in a birth center without drugs because I wanted a lower-risk birth. I delivered two 10+ pound babies there, and would do it again in a heartbeat. Do I expect a medal from you OP? Nope. I don't brag about it, and DH and I didn't make that decision to feel superior to anyone. As another PP put it, you did not factor into our choices at all.

Be happy with your choices, but make sure you get all the facts. It goes way beyond pain relief.

I just wanted the baby out, I didn't care about the process. I was group B strep positive, I was exhausted at the start of labor. I just don't understand all the angst that goes into this. It likely won't matter when your baby is 12.

I don't understand the point of a post like this when the past 5 pages have been filled with (mostly respectful) points of view from various people on why there is angst going into it. If you still don't understand, that's down to reading comprehension. Doesn't mean you have to agree with it, but there are legitimate reasons that people have spelled out for you. BTW, most folks who choose to do things naturally do NOT have angst about it once they've made their decision. I know I haven't, and neither has anyone I know.

[Anonymous]

Agree with 16:21. This thread has mostly been good, including OP coming back to explain the unpleasant evening she had with people who judged her epidural. Let's keep it classy.