What do you think about couples who met online?

[Anonymous]

I met DH on match.com in 2005. At the time I feel like it was a bit new and while we were open about it around here I did kind of skirt the issue with people from home. Both of us are from smallish towns in New England and it DEFINITELY wasn't 'in' up there. Not yet anyways.

We're proud of it though - if you are happy, you should be too!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I met DH on match.com in 2005. At the time I feel like it was a bit new and while we were open about it around here I did kind of skirt the issue with people from home. Both of us are from smallish towns in New England and it DEFINITELY wasn't 'in' up there. Not yet anyways.

We're proud of it though - if you are happy, you should be too!

I think this is what will help others to be more accepting. Whenever I've expressed happiness with my own choices my family has been more accepting. It's the times when I've been anxious or not totally up front with things (even if it's just out of fear of their reaction) that they have been less accepting. Own your choices and the people in your life will be happy for you. I know, there are situations where that's not true, but I think generally the truth.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Call me old fashioned, but it does make me cringe a little. But, I am happy for those this works! Each to his or her own.

I hate to tell you, you need to get over it because the vast majority of single people in DC date via Match, Eharmony, JDate etc... I met DH that way and I also met tons of other well educated, smart, funny, good looking, you name it on Match.com. Most of my friends woudn't bat an eye if you said you met that way.

[Anonymous]

I tell everyone that asks... and I also tell that I had to go through infertility treatment and DD was conceived through an IUI (if the conversation goes in this direction of course). I am no ashamed of neither.

[Anonymous]

For any single gals..I dated one guy on match that was a CEO of a publicly traded company as well as some other very put together men who were just too busy to deal with chasing girls around..married one of my match guys..also very successful and normal..so I wouldn't worry too much about judgement.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As someone who knows a lot of on-line couples (including several married couples with children), I think there is still a stigma, i.e., two desperate people coming together because they found someone who checked the right boxes on their informational form (Catholic? Check. Republican? Check. A runner? Check). Whether or not the couple have chemistry, actually like each other, etc. doesn't seem to matter as long as they had enough common "boxes" and both want to get married.

My best friend just got married to someone she met on-line and begged us not to tell anyone (i.e., family and co-workers) how they met. Is it fair that some people still judge? No, but I think there is still a stigma amongst some people.

Actually, since online dating broadens the pool of people you can meet, I think people become a lot more picky because there's always someone else on the horizon. I don't get the sense that people are just checking the boxes and looking to get hitched to anyone who matches up...it's just a way to meet people outside of well-worn social circles. Chemistry matters just as much as it would in any other circumstance. I met DH online 10 years ago when it was becoming more common and we were far from desperate. I was dating a lot...not just people I met online.

[Anonymous]

I met my husband randomly in a store 12 years ago. Loved him instantly.

That said, I think that if you are lucky enough to find love and happiness, you should be rejoicing endlessly about it and not give two craps how it happened. It's nice to have a "great story" to tell people, but for me it's enough to just have a great husband and a great kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For any single gals..I dated one guy on match that was a CEO of a publicly traded company as well as some other very put together men who were just too busy to deal with chasing girls around..married one of my match guys..also very successful and normal..so I wouldn't worry too much about judgement.

Heh, that was my experience, too. A successful lawyer who started his own firm in a niche market; someone who had the title of "Chief of..." in a Fortune 500 company; a mover and shaker in social activism who is occasionally in the paper; an economist who was starting an international charity; and others who were great 'boys next door' types your mother and father would love. None of these people explicitly advertised themselves as such in their profiles, but it was clear they could write, they were self-depricatingly funny, they knew how to work a (virtual) crowd, and most importantly, in real life they were good men who (not surprisingly) knew how to have a great conversation that wasn't all about THEM THEM THEM. I guess they were all just very busy guys who, in their 30s, decided that it was time to build a family.

I married one of these guys. I won't say which.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As someone who knows a lot of on-line couples (including several married couples with children), I think there is still a stigma, i.e., two desperate people coming together because they found someone who checked the right boxes on their informational form (Catholic? Check. Republican? Check. A runner? Check). Whether or not the couple have chemistry, actually like each other, etc. doesn't seem to matter as long as they had enough common "boxes" and both want to get married.

My best friend just got married to someone she met on-line and begged us not to tell anyone (i.e., family and co-workers) how they met. Is it fair that some people still judge? No, but I think there is still a stigma amongst some people.

Actually, since online dating broadens the pool of people you can meet, I think people become a lot more picky because there's always someone else on the horizon. I don't get the sense that people are just checking the boxes and looking to get hitched to anyone who matches up...it's just a way to meet people outside of well-worn social circles. Chemistry matters just as much as it would in any other circumstance. I met DH online 10 years ago when it was becoming more common and we were far from desperate. I was dating a lot...not just people I met online.[/quote]

amen to this...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For any single gals..I dated one guy on match that was a CEO of a publicly traded company as well as some other very put together men who were just too busy to deal with chasing girls around..married one of my match guys..also very successful and normal..so I wouldn't worry too much about judgement.

Heh, that was my experience, too. A successful lawyer who started his own firm in a niche market; someone who had the title of "Chief of..." in a Fortune 500 company; a mover and shaker in social activism who is occasionally in the paper; an economist who was starting an international charity; and others who were great 'boys next door' types your mother and father would love. None of these people explicitly advertised themselves as such in their profiles, but it was clear they could write, they were self-depricatingly funny, they knew how to work a (virtual) crowd, and most importantly, in real life they were good men who (not surprisingly) knew how to have a great conversation that wasn't all about THEM THEM THEM. I guess they were all just very busy guys who, in their 30s, decided that it was time to build a family.

I married one of these guys. I won't say which.

And Amen to this!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Although I was not still dating in the era of online services like that, I think it is a thoughtful way to meet someone. Think about the other ways people meet:

1. Through friends
2. At a bar or a party
3. At Church
4. At work
5. At school

What's so special about those? (BTW I met DW at work). In each of those, you are basically randomly bumping into people until one day you run into a match, almost by accident. If you are in #1 or #3, at least it could be said that you can say you were putting yourself in an environment with good people, but not necessarily people who are good for you. In #4 and #5 you can say you were searching in a pool of talented people (maybe), but not necessarily good for you. At a bar? Forget about it! Totally random (and I say that even though my brother met his wonderful wife at a bar).

Online dating is unique in that you can search for a mate based on a large scale search for people who might be right for you. It makes a great deal of sense.

I agree with this poster. If you think about it there can be so much left out of the story for any of the more old-fashioned meeting choices for example
4 - We met at work and he/she was my boss, or was my ex-husband's boss, or I was going thru a divorce when we met, or I was still married when we met or we had to keep it secret from our co-workers and some people didn't even know were were dating much less getting married - I've heard many variations of meeting at work

5 - At school - goodness knows people didn't really date and mostly hooked up at my college so the back story might be that you hooked up at XYZ party and eventually started dating.

3 - Church - From my friends I know there can be dating drama at church. Also, I think the general male/female ratio (much less single male/famale ration) is quite skewed at the churches my friends attend that when I h someone actually met a spouse at church these days - I am shocked. If you told me you saw a unicorn I would be less surprised. It's like you hear Church is a great place to meet a guy, but rarerly does it happen.

So anyway online dating is so common. Once people are out of school and in their mid-twenties or older I am surprised when they don't meet online.

[Anonymous]

I met my husband on AOL...and was embarrassed...since it was AOL.

I just said that I met him via mutual "friend"...that was it. Close friends/family knew the whole truth...

[Anonymous]

Two married couples among my friends met online - not at dating sites, but by hanging out on the same message boards. I certainly don't think of them any differently than I think of the couples who met other ways... it's just the long-distance/electronic version of meeting someone via an activity/club.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't particularly want to meet a shorter guy

Just don't whine if you're still single in 10 years. K?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I met my husband at a good friends funeral. Always puts a damper on things when people ask how we met. We were both drunk and grieving. Seven years and two kids later we couldn't be happier.

Joy came out of tragedy. Seems like a wonderful legacy for your friend.