What do you think about couples who met online?

[Anonymous]

Okay, your parents don't know? So you manufactured a story? I could see if you'd taken up pole dancing when in grad school and met that way, but really, I am not following the embarrassment (yours and others) and, more shockingly, the lies to loved ones. Come clean! Or else you'll have to lie to your children, too.

[Anonymous]

As someone who knows a lot of on-line couples (including several married couples with children), I think there is still a stigma, i.e., two desperate people coming together because they found someone who checked the right boxes on their informational form (Catholic? Check. Republican? Check. A runner? Check). Whether or not the couple have chemistry, actually like each other, etc. doesn't seem to matter as long as they had enough common "boxes" and both want to get married.

My best friend just got married to someone she met on-line and begged us not to tell anyone (i.e., family and co-workers) how they met. Is it fair that some people still judge? No, but I think there is still a stigma amongst some people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Okay, your parents don't know? So you manufactured a story? I could see if you'd taken up pole dancing when in grad school and met that way, but really, I am not following the embarrassment (yours and others) and, more shockingly, the lies to loved ones. Come clean! Or else you'll have to lie to your children, too.

OP. We will not lie to our child. Our child will know the truth.

[Anonymous]

I met my DH in a bar, I'm more embarrassed about that then if we met online. I think it's totally ok and more the norm now...don't be embarrassed!

[Anonymous]

Is it better or worse than when I say, "Yes, I met my DH in a bar. Yeah, Mister Day's in the alley between 18th and 19th, L and M. Uh huh."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I met DH at match.com seven years ago. He is incredible as a husband and father, is tall, dark and handsome, foreign with an accent, smart, and able to fix anything, from cars to electric wiring.

Op. This sounds like my DH, except for the dark part.

Ditto, except for the "incredible as a husband and father, is tall, dark and handsome, foreign with an accent, smart, and able to fix anything, from cars to electric thing" part.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As someone who knows a lot of on-line couples (including several married couples with children), I think there is still a stigma, i.e., two desperate people coming together because they found someone who checked the right boxes on their informational form (Catholic? Check. Republican? Check. A runner? Check). Whether or not the couple have chemistry, actually like each other, etc. doesn't seem to matter as long as they had enough common "boxes" and both want to get married.

My best friend just got married to someone she met on-line and begged us not to tell anyone (i.e., family and co-workers) how they met. Is it fair that some people still judge? No, but I think there is still a stigma amongst some people.

I don't feel this way at all. I never felt judged or stigmatized in any way, including by my parents, my law firm partners or anyone else out there.

I think most people recognize that dating websites merely create the introduction, just like a blind date arranged by a friend or a chance meeting at a bar. The rest happens the old-fashioned way -- everything from finding an initial connection to building a lasting relationship. No big deal.

[Anonymous]

OP. I just want to add, prior to the internet, they did have Personals in the newspaper. Was there a stigma to meeting people thru that medium? I figure that was more for the prior generation of singles.

[Anonymous]

I see absolutely nothing wrong with it. I think it's pretty smart, actually. In a city like DC, there are how many hundreds of thousands of people out there, and so many different places they could be on any given night. It would suck to miss out on meeting your spouse because you were at Bar A in Arlington the night he was at Bar B in Alexandria. Online dating allows you to take the "same place, same time" thing out of it, which is just luck. My sister met her husband on eHarmony, and I know quite a few other couples who've met on eHarmony or Match or JDate.

That said, I haven't had much luck with it myself. I've never clicked with any of the guys in person, even if they seemed cute and cool online. I think for me, there's a big chemistry element that is hard to replicate online. (I quit eHarmony because I hated that it wouldn't allow me to pick my own guys - and it only seemed to select guys who lived too far away - in Columbia or Annapolis - and who were my height or shorter. I don't particularly want to meet a shorter guy who lives too far away for me to ever see! I can do better than that on my own.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is it better or worse than when I say, "Yes, I met my DH in a bar. Yeah, Mister Day's in the alley between 18th and 19th, L and M. Uh huh."

I met my husband in a bar and I don't care what anyone thinks of it. I tell people that's how we met because it's the truth. We met in a bar, so what? If we'd met online I'd feel the same. If people have an issue with it, that's their own problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As someone who knows a lot of on-line couples (including several married couples with children), I think there is still a stigma, i.e., two desperate people coming together because they found someone who checked the right boxes on their informational form (Catholic? Check. Republican? Check. A runner? Check). Whether or not the couple have chemistry, actually like each other, etc. doesn't seem to matter as long as they had enough common "boxes" and both want to get married.

My best friend just got married to someone she met on-line and begged us not to tell anyone (i.e., family and co-workers) how they met. Is it fair that some people still judge? No, but I think there is still a stigma amongst some people.

Well your friend sounds as if she has self-esteem isues. These issues would have manifested in some form regardless of where your friend met her husband. I on the otherhand became an inspiration to my friends, as I proudly informed them upon question where I met my husband. Some of my friends asked me to help them with their profile. And if you think it is all about checking the right boxes, well you really do need to leave your "Leave it to Beaver" perspective in the 50's and adopt this era's perspective.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't particularly want to meet a shorter guy...

Hey, don't knock it 'till you've tried it! I dated tall dudes my entire life, and then married the short guy. Hot damn, he's just the right guy for me. I'm embarassed to say it took a little bit of adjusting my brain-space when we first started dating (e.g., I second-guessed whether I should wear heels) and then I quickly decided I wasn't dating to please the folks on the sidewalk, I was dating because he turned me on.

It's nice to be liberated from this particular set of aesthetic values. Good news: you can stroke hair and kiss much, much more easily.

[Anonymous]

I met my husband at a good friends funeral. Always puts a damper on things when people ask how we met. We were both drunk and grieving. Seven years and two kids later we couldn't be happier.

[Anonymous]

I thought it was somewhat weird 10-ish years ago, but nowadays, it really doesn't seem as big a deal. My story with my husband is far from romantic (we met at a party, but I can't really tell people the "yeah, he saw me dancing and thought I had a nice booty" part), so the only thing that matters in the end is if you are happy with the person you are with.

[Anonymous]

I love any and all "how we met" stories. Come on, you online lovebirds, come out of the closet! Tell the world! Tell your parents for goodness sake!