What do you think about couples who met online?

[Anonymous]

I met my husband on e-harmony. We hardly told anyone about how we met so now it's this secret, but I wish we could go back in time and just be honest. I don't think it's anything to be ashamed of, I don't know why we didn't just tell the truth. It does still come up for some reason and even years later people you meet sometimes want to know how you met.

[Anonymous]

I find it a little odd, but I don't care. I think my brother met his ex-wife online. Not sure because he's already on to the next one.

[Anonymous]

Although I was not still dating in the era of online services like that, I think it is a thoughtful way to meet someone. Think about the other ways people meet:

1. Through friends
2. At a bar or a party
3. At Church
4. At work
5. At school

What's so special about those? (BTW I met DW at work). In each of those, you are basically randomly bumping into people until one day you run into a match, almost by accident. If you are in #1 or #3, at least it could be said that you can say you were putting yourself in an environment with good people, but not necessarily people who are good for you. In #4 and #5 you can say you were searching in a pool of talented people (maybe), but not necessarily good for you. At a bar? Forget about it! Totally random (and I say that even though my brother met his wonderful wife at a bar).

Online dating is unique in that you can search for a mate based on a large scale search for people who might be right for you. It makes a great deal of sense.

[Anonymous]

I think it's totally normal these days.

[Anonymous]

What do I think about these couples? We're awesome!!!

DH and I met on JDate 7 years ago and got married 5 years ago. We are so grateful to have met each other, which likely never would have happened without JDate. So we're not the least bit hesitant to tell people if they ask how we met.

By the way, the same year we got married, we went to FOUR other weddings of friends who met their spouses online. Three were via Match and one was via Jdate. And that was five years ago.

[Anonymous]

My friend met her fiance on Eharmony. They're getting married in January.

[Anonymous]

My best friend met her fiance on e-harmony. He is gorgeous, funny, and kind. I think its great and if I was single I would be on in a heart beat.

[Anonymous]

Of the 5 weddings I've been to this year, all of the couples met online.

[Anonymous]

You know, meeting someone online is actually harder than meeting someone by chance. You have to put yourself out there, every date is like a job interview and audition at the same time. So in some ways these folks deserve more props for making a go of it. You have no idea what the bad date to good date ratio is until you've tried it!

[Anonymous]

It doesn't give me pause at all. And I'm a fairly judgmental person!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Call me old fashioned, but it does make me cringe a little. But, I am happy for those this works! Each to his or her own.

I don't cringe, but if it were me, I'd probably do like Charlotte on Sex in the City when her first husband agreed to marry her. She wanted a more romantic proposal story to share with her girlfriends. I'd probably reframe how we met. Not even sure why.

You know what, I think it's that other stories seem so accidental but online shows that you were actively looking. Dunno why that should make a bit of difference. I don't judge people who found their partners that way at all. I'm just not that gutsy and it seems like a really gutsy thing to do.

The OP asked for our honest responses, so there it is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I met my beloved via match.com . He's lovely, normal, funny, has friends, is date-able, marriage-able, and has a profession he loves -- and most importantly -- somehow he puts up with me. Now we have a daughter and another on the way, and he's a great dad, too.

So from my perspective, "online dating" is a great way to meet this kind of person!

Zero taboo.

Me too except we already have two kids! Honestly, the last four weddings I've been to have all been on-line matches ... I have no problem telling anyone I met my spouse on Match.com (6 years ago this week!!).

[Anonymous]

Wow! This is the "old-fashioned" PP. I had no idea that there were so many happily married people people who met online. Good for you and I'm truly impressed!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow! This is the "old-fashioned" PP. I had no idea that there were so many happily married people people who met online. Good for you and I'm truly impressed!

Indeed. The truth is that all relationships progress in pretty much the same way, in person and in real time. The primary difference is how couples might at first encounter each other. It seems like in my parents' generation, 'blind dates' were a pretty common way to meet folks! When you think about it, online dating isn't that much different from a blind date, except you set it up yourself. Heh.

[Anonymous]

I met my last serious boyfriend on line. Relationship lasted several years. We lied about how we met-- I was embarrassed to have been using match.com. But though I am now dating someone I met the old-fashioned way, I think if i were to again meet someone online, I'd just tell people that. It feels like any stigma has really pretty much gone.

I agree with the PP who said online dating is WORK, though. Man. It's exhausting. Felt like you needed two hours a day just to keep up with the emails, the winks, etc.,to have a hope of distinguishing between the bozos and the good guys....